My eyes were closed as I waited for the knife to stab me, but instead I felt warm hands on my shoulders. “Jothea, are you okay?!”
An unexpected person welcomed me when I opened my eyes.
“Ismael…” My lips trembled as I called his name. I couldn’t stop myself from hugging him-something I couldn’t do before when he extended his two arms to greet me earlier. “Ismael…” I eventually burst into tears. It was as if my power had vanished because I felt my life was about to end, but here Ismael was, filling my void.
I felt his hand caressing my hair and his other hand embracing me. God. I thought I’d never see him again. “Ismael…” I kept calling him.
“Shush. It’s okay now. I am here.”
Ismael allowed me to cuddle in the center of his arms for a few more minutes before he released me. I noticed that the man who had been following me earlier had left. I am not sure what happened. I don’t even know how Ismael got here.
Ismael responded, “My secretary took care of him, so don’t worry about it,” and I returned my focus to him. When I saw him, I immediately lost my breath. He’s dressed in the same black tuxedo that I saw him wearing earlier at his workplace. I could not believe it. He’s presently in front of my eyes.
“He knows me, Ismael. He’s after my life,” I murmured softly to him, as if pleading for help. I’m not even sure why someone wants to kill me. What have I done? I can’t remember ever hurting somebody.
“I will bring you home. Let’s go.”
He held my hand. I gazed at him when I felt his warm palm and the strong electricity flowing through my arm. He stared at me as if he shared my feelings. “S-sorry.” He was about to take his hand back but I did not let go of it.
“I’m afraid of the dark,” I replied, hoping he wouldn’t withdraw his hand from holding me. He knew I was lying, but he seemed to get my point when he smiled-a smile that made my knees go soft. If I was already weak after my near-death experience, seeing a glimpse of his smile, for which I was responsible, made me even weaker.
I brushed away tears as I walked with Ismael. Nobody has the courage to speak, and only the sound of our shoes could be heard down the lane. I wanted to ask him why he was here and how he discovered me, but instead I chose to listen to my heart, which appeared to be communicating with Ismael’s heart due to its strong beat. Can he hear my heart calling?
“Jothea…”
I paused and turned to face him. His solemn, concerned expression welcomed me. No, that is a worry for both of us.
I felt his firm grip on my hand, as if pleading with me not to let go. “Do you still love me?”
I never anticipated hearing that inquiry from him. Tears welled up again in my eyes. God knows how much I care, but I can’t seem to express it due to the events unfolding around us. He’s currently with someone else.
“Why did you ask?”
“I feel like you love me less now.” I cried but I instantly wiped it off. “And it is my fault, I understand, because it was me who left you.”
I don’t believe that absence makes the heart colder since, over time, I’ve realized that my love for him never fades. There is no place beyond that. My feelings for him will never fade because they are just growing stronger. Every time I realize that, no matter how many rejections I receive, it only strengthens my feelings for him.
“I owe you many explanations, and I sincerely want to give them to you. Can you allow me to explain everything, Jothea?” He inquired pleadingly.
I remembered what Miss Sapphire had given me earlier. I couldn’t help but gasp and smile, because, while she was referring to collaboration, it appears to be appropriate in our circumstances as well.
Ismael seemed astonished by my reaction and appeared to be terrified as a result. I shook my head, then touched his cheek. “As long as you will answer every question in mind, I will let you.”
“Of course, my love.”
My love.
That’s it; it appears that all of my questions have been answered.
“Let’s go now,” he said to me, opening his car door for me. I looked back at the alley where I almost died, and Ismael noticed it.
“I’ll explain that too later, Jothea.”
I nodded before getting in the car. He followed and sat in the driver’s seat. My eyebrows raised when he extended his hand for me to hold. I looked at him and noticed he was waiting for it. “Hold me. Aren’t you terrified of the darkness?”
I chuckled at his joke, but as he requested, I held his hand. I have to admit that I missed this joke between Ismael and me. No, I genuinely missed him.
I spotted him rubbing his thumb on my fingers, notably the left-hand ring finger. I felt a brief pang of guilt as I remembered removing it the last time. “Sorry,” I said.
He turned to me with a frown. “For what?”
“I took off the promise ring you gave me.”
“Oh.” He looked at my hand, as if he had just realized that the ring he had given me was missing. “Yeah, why did you take it off?” The sadness in his tone of voice was obvious.
“I thought you weren’t coming back.” My voice broke again. I remembered times when I felt I couldn’t handle it. I felt unable to live because he was not with me.
“But didn’t I promise you-?”
I cut him off. “How can I be sure that your promises are still true when the words you said before leaving me were that you fooled and used me?”
He breathed out a sigh. He maneuvered the car, and we came to a stop on the side of the road. He turned to me and looked closely. “It looks like you were so drunk that night; that’s why you don’t remember every explanation I gave.”
I frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Never mind. I’ll tell you again.” He reached out his hand and placed his fingers on my ear. I closed my eyes as he stroked it. Then I remembered how he had taught me how to tame a cat, and it appeared that he was doing the same to me now.
“I said that to protect you because I do not want you to get involved. I do not want you to be hurt. Raviel’s resentment of me is so deep that even you cannot avoid from using against me. That guy who stalks you every night is his minion. He was the one who recorded the video of us both entering my hotel. He’s looking for anything to bring me down,” he explained.
“So you’re telling me that the man earlier who wanted to kill me is Raviel’s accomplice?” I asked.
“Sadly, yes.”
I gasped and shook. “That fuckin’ bastard. What would he gain from killing me?” I let out a deep sigh before turning back to Ismael, but at that time my questions were answered. I gradually understood why he had to leave me.
If Ismael did not lie in front of the class and told everyone I am his girlfriend, a lot of bad things will happen. Aside from the possibility that I won’t be able to graduate, Raviel and I will heat each other up even more. If he could kill me now, maybe even then he would have done it if Ismael had not stayed away from me.
That means what Ismael really did at that time was protect me and sacrifice himself, even his dreams, for my own sake, and I was so selfish to understand that now. My brain is really small to not understand what he did for me.
“My death,” he answered while staring into my eyes. There was a moment of silence between the two of us. “Good thing I always follow you. If I get caught, I might as well be gone.”
“You always follow me?”
He nods. “I always.”
And that’s when I realized he never left me. All this time, he was here around me, protecting me silently, watching me from apart, and taking good care of me. Right, even on my graduation day, he was there. I saw him at that time. I cannot be mistaken. Even though I couldn’t confirm it with him, the way he was looking at me now, I was sure he was the one I saw before.
“Even when you’re sleeping…”
I laughed. “That’s creepy.” I watched his face carefully and gradually came back to my memory of the nights he visited me in my dreams. I can’t stop crying. Does that mean it’s all true? He visits me all the time and watches me while I sleep.
“Is it?” he asked. “Isn’t that what I am supposed to do since I am your lover? Am I still your lover?”
I stopped at his question. I couldn’t answer right away because I remembered Miss Levanier as well as the day I saw them together. I suddenly felt overwhelmed. If he treats me like this, what about his fiance?
“Are you asking me to be your mistress?” I asked shyly.
“W-what? M-mistress? What do you mean?” He said it to me in surprise. His forehead was furrowed like mine.
“Raviel told me you were with another woman older than me, and I saw you also at that time with someone else. Atacia also informed me that she heard you talking with Dean Dator about preparing for your marriage. If these things aren’t true, what should I believe now?”
I saw him smile, and that made me cry even more. “Come here.” I was shocked when he removed my seatbelt and pulled my hand away to sit on his lap.
“Ismael, what are you doing?”