After her question, I was gone. The string of spit that bridged her lips to the toy’s tip… Seeing that glow under her lights catapulted me over the edge. It would’ve taken a split second to tell her I was about to come, but there still wasn’t enough time. I was already coming. In a state of stupor, I rammed my hips forward and I heard her gag. I stepped back and squeaked out an apology. Too many things were going on, everything was blurry-I wasn’t sure what was happening anymore.
Next thing I knew, I was on Gray’s bed. My head was resting on her soft, fluffy pillows. I idly stared at the color-changing ceiling, beyond stunned and stupefied. But then my roommate started kissing me and the world made sense again. Not for the first time, because of her kinky ideas, I felt like I’d just taken the ‘red pill’ from ‘The Matrix.’ I felt like I’d learned some life-altering information I couldn’t put in words.
“What happened?” I asked after we stopped making out. She shrugged to appear all innocent. She licked my neck and dragged her teeth over my skin. I was still catching my breath, but with the way she was fidgeting on top of me, I knew she needed to come already. I looked down to verify that the strap-on was still there (yup, all good). “Ready to ride?”
My last statement was meant to ooze bravado, but given how winded I was, I doubted I hit the mark. Regardless, she got up, retrieved some lube and generously coated the silicone dick. She retightened and readjusted the harness I was wearing then got into position. One glance at her told me that what was coming next wasn’t about me… It was all for her.
Which wasn’t just ‘fine with me,’ I recognized that it was a privilege. Being with her could never be something I took for granted. I wasn’t sure if sex with her was different because she was another woman or because she was my favorite person in the history of forever, but I wasn’t concerned with figuring that out at the moment. Not when I should be focusing solely on her picture-perfect, pink pussy that was slowly taking in the faux cock that stood on my hips. She let out a raw moan when the tip popped inside her. She paused and adjusted, allowing herself to get used to the fullness.
“Fuck, I forgot how good this can feel.”
She gave me a lone, lingering kiss. The headliner performance commenced. She bounced on my lap, roughly fucking herself. She alternated between fast, shallow strokes and slow, deep ones. She dipped her head backward, she pointed her face upward. She planted her palms on my tummy for balance. Her hips moved wildly, to-ing and fro-ing uninhibitedly. The rough, almost animalistic pace she’d set for herself had her coming not long thereafter. She cursed up a storm as she navigated her climax. Some of her pale skin that separated her tattoos took on a visibly pink tint as she lost it. Not even two minutes after she calmed down though, she set off on ride number two. She smirked as her eyes locked with mine. She combed her left hand through her sex-mussed hair. She played with her nipple piercing.
“You’re so fucking sexy, it’s unreal.” I smiled back at her, in awe and disbelief. I grabbed her hips. I didn’t want to dictate the pace though. I just wanted to hold her. Skin-to-skin. “We’re in for a long night tonight, huh?”
“For sure.” Repeatedly, she lifted herself until the toy was almost slipping out, just to slam back down before it could. “But you’re up for it, right?” She challenged, and I nodded and winked at her. “That’s my girl.”
Before long, she came again. Exhaling a deep, contented sigh, she climbed off of me, so she could turn around and ride me in reverse. Since she couldn’t see my face anymore, I beamed from ear-to-ear. I shook my head in amazement. I absolutely loved the combined view of her cute butt, her colorful back and her sexy Venus dimples. The way she was fucking herself rough and deep had me completely captivated… I was utterly enamored by how her tight, pink pussy clung on to the shaft. Although her cartoonish, contrasting socks were still on her feet, the dynamic sight of her backside in motion was easily one of the hottest things I’d ever witnessed. With my eyes glued to the glorious show, I made two mental notes. First, include strap-on sex in my list of things that she liked. And second, learn how to properly and satisfactorily use one without delay. Because though she looked spectacular as she sought and secured her own pleasure, I’d much rather personally serve it to her instead.
Signed, sealed, delivered straight from my besotted, blood-red heart.
. . .
It was a Sunday and I was on the set of an indie film that a good friend of mine was directing. He’d given me short notice, but he needed someone to help him out because his right-hand man had caught the flu. Meanwhile, Gray was wherever she went to on Sundays-rain or shine. My phone vibrated in the pocket of my light-wash jeans and I checked the message. I smiled at the screen, cherishing the unexpected text. My roommate was outstanding at a lot of things, but texting wasn’t one of them. Not exaggerating, the red notification counters of her phone’s messaging apps were all three to four figures. In her words, on the whole, SMS communication was just too cold and colorless to keep her actively engaged.
Gray: Miss you. Hope you’re having a good day at work.
Me: I miss you, thank you! I hope you’re enjoying wherever you are.
I ended my text with the kiss emoji. I knew better than to ask for her location. She wasn’t going to tell me even if I did. I stuffed my phone in my back pocket just to pull it out a second later.
Me: Love you.
I pocketed my phone for real this time.
I was being dumb. I knew I should’ve been thanking the universe for how busy I’d been gig-wise. But I couldn’t help but feel that maybe things would be better if I had more free time. ‘Cause all I wanted was to be around my roommate. Which had always been the case, but things were so different now.
I’d claim I was falling in love with her, but that’d be like saying running was neither here nor there for ‘Forrest Gump’… Without question, I’d already fallen so hard. My feelings were so strong. The best way I could put it was that she made me experience ‘double vision.’ But not in the sense that I was seeing separate images of the same object… Rather, because of her, life in general was just immeasurably more valuable to me. It was a multiplier effect that was imperceptible to the naked eye. It was a soul-thing.
Juxtaposed against my love for her in our early days, my love for her now was very much ‘the sexual, might-marry-this-person-someday’ kind. There was no question about it. And the only thing left for me to do was tell her how I felt. Which was something I’d been putting off to avoid rocking the boat. However, Apartment 202 was only ours for one more month and three weeks, so I had to bite the bullet and put an end to my cowardly yellow streak.
Time was ticking away.
. . .
If this was a romantic comedy, then this would be the point in the plot when the main character (aka me) confessed her feelings to her love interest (aka Gray). This would be the penultimate scene that came before the ‘happy ending’ that unfailingly preceded the end credits. But this was no rom-com… This was no feel-good fluff piece meant to reinforce some trite, overexploited message like ‘love was real’ or ‘love always triumphs.’
Gray and I weren’t actors. Our clothes weren’t from a wardrobe department. Our words weren’t printed on a script. Our home wasn’t a set full of curated props. Our happy ending wasn’t guaranteed.
In our living room, I spoke ad libitum, straight from my heart. With her beside me on the couch, I told her how things had changed for me. Working within the confines and limitations of language, I turned to metaphor, to simile. As evinced by the mere existence of poetry itself-to concretize ambiguous ideas such as ‘love’ or ‘happiness’ using plain language always, always fell short.
I did my best to find the most suitable sequence of sentences that’d express to her how much she’d changed my life. I talked about how in the relatively short amount of time I’d known her, she not only improved how I saw the world but also how I saw myself… I talked about how much happier and lighter I was now compared to how I was before. Despite how corny it sounded, I even told her how the subleasing agreement I’d signed for Apartment 202 inadvertently renewed my lease on life. My words were dripping in mawkishness, in sentimentality… But I was hopelessly in love with the best person I’d ever met, so that was unavoidable. Ultimately, I ended my overdramatic monolog with a grin.
“Bottom line is, I don’t think I was ever straight and you helped me realize that. These past few months have been amazing, Gray… The best time of my life,” I admitted, elated and exultant. “And yeah, everything has changed for me-all thanks to you.”
“That’s great!” She hugged me tight. She then proceeded to tell me how brave I was and how proud she was of me. “I’m so, so happy for you.”