“What!” I exclaimed, my eyes widening in disbelief. I turned to Jennifer, who looked just as shocked. “It can’t be,” I stuttered.
Jennifer turned her head towards me, confusion etched across her face. “I thought you said you and Jason never…” she wondered.
I nodded. “Never,” I echoed, panic rising within me.
Jennifer looked back at the doctor, her voice firm and certain. “You must be mistaken, doctor. My friend has been celibate for over three…” Before Jennifer could finish, I cut her off. “I haven’t been celibate!” I whispered, feeling the heat of shame wash over me. My mind flashed back to the afternoon of her wedding, the memory of Ethan flooding back, the heat of the moment, our impulsive connection, and my frantic rush to escape afterward, forgetting the after pill.
Jennifer’s expression shifted to one of motherly concern. “Who?” she asked, her voice firm. I bit my lip, avoiding her gaze, my eyes darting to the doctor, who was watching our exchange intently.
“Ethan,” I murmured, closing my eyes as if that would make it less real.
“What? When?” Jennifer’s voice deepened while Irene chuckled from the corner, a glint of mischief in her eyes. “Oh! Emily, you naughty girl!” she teased.
“When, Emily? Was it when you were with Jason?” Jennifer pressed, and the doctor interjected, “She’s eight weeks along,” as if revealing a secret. Nosy woman!
Jennifer’s eyes widened, realization dawning. “My wedding!” she gasped, and I nodded, guilt swelling in my chest.
Instead of scolding me, Jennifer burst into laughter. “Oh! Em, you really are a naughty girl! When did you even have time?” she wondered.
“Well, congratulations, I am going to be an aunt,” Jennifer said proudly, to my surprise.
The doctor cleared her throat, breaking the moment. “It’s a double gestation,” she said again, being nosy.
“Twins?” Denise exclaimed, her voice bright with excitement, but I shook my head.
“Don’t celebrate too early. I’m not keeping them,” I muttered, my heart racing as dread settled in. I didn’t want to be a single mother, and I didn’t want my children growing up hearing their father was a criminal sentenced to death. Tears welled in my eyes as the weight of the situation crashed down on me. I wished things were different. I wished I didn’t open my big mouth to say what I did.
“Are you insane?” Jennifer asked, concern flooding her voice.
“I’m not. I know what I’m saying,” I replied, forcing confidence into my tone. I turned to the doctor, who shook her head. “I’m afraid I can’t assist you with that, ma’am,” she said, her voice steady.
“I know,” I sighed, my stomach turning at the thought. “Am I fit to go?” I asked.
The doctor nodded. “But you need to take good care of yourself, ma’am. Start taking your prenatal vitamins and eat properly,” she instructed, her words coming to me like a blur because I knew I wouldn’t do any of that.
After she was done, “the nurse will come to remove your IV line and give you a form to fill out,” the doctor said, about to walk out of the room when she stopped in her tracks, turning to face me. “Dual gestation is a blessing a lot of people are searching for. I wouldn’t advise you to do anything to it,” she advised. “If you need to see a therapist, I know a very good one,” she added, and I fought the urge to yell at her to mind her business.
I glared at her, and I could tell Jennifer noticed as she took over. “We’re fine, thank you, doctor,” Jennifer said, her words coming out politely, but we all knew what she was trying to say. I guess the doctor did too, because she nodded and quickly walked out of the room.
As we walked out of the hospital, Denise glanced at me, confusion lingering in her eyes. “Are you really going to…?”
“Yes,” I confirmed. “I don’t need you guys to accompany or support my decision,” I said firmly. Rose hesitated, her eyes narrowing. “Would you like to tell Ethan?” she wondered, and I shook my head.
“No,” I replied, feeling my heart break. The verdict had already been made. Telling him would only deepen his helplessness.
“I still think you should tell him,” Jennifer probed, but I shook my head.
“I am not, and I don’t approve of you telling him either,” I said to Jennifer knowing fully when that she could tell him.