ARLAN’S POV.
“It’s all my fault.” I took another glass of wine. “I should’ve stayed away from saraya when I found out she is Alex’s daughter. If I have, none of this would’ve happened.”
I recalled it was on a Christmas day when I had first heard about Saraya’s existence.
*TWO YEARS AGO.*
I sat on the couch, a glass of mulled wine in my hand, watching Alex’s family tear into their presents with reckless abandon and laughter filled the air.
Wrapping paper flew in all directions as Evan unwrapped his gifts.
Alex sat beside me, a satisfied grin on his face, looking every bit the proud father.
“Evan is sure an happy child, isn’t he?” I said, gesturing toward the mess he had made.
Alex chuckled, taking a sip from his own glass. “He sure is. Nothing beats seeing seeing my family happy.” He said. “I can’t wait for my daughter to join us here.” He added.
“A daughter?”
Alex nodded. “Yes, I got to find out I have a daughter.” A small smile spread on his face. “I have a daughter, Arlan.”
“You know, after Evan.” He began. “I have always wanted another child but Mary wouldn’t give in, I have to respect her wishes. Imagine my joy when I found out I have a daughter who is already twenty one years old, my dream came true, Arlan.”
“Must feel good to be a father to two kids.”
Alex nodded. “You should have seen the way my heart raced when I first heard I have a daughter, Arlan.” His face lit up. “It was a whole new feeling I never knew existed.”
“Have you met her?” I asked.
Alex shook his head. “Not yet but I will meet her soon.”
“Do you have a picture of her?” I asked.
Alex took out his phone and showed me the picture of a little girl. “This is the only picture of her that I have, she must have grown up to be so beautiful. I’m still looking for her, when I find her, I hope I can make up for the lost time I missed in her life.”
I studied the photo in Alex’s phone, a small girl with bright eyes and a beautiful smile that could light up any room.
“She looks a lot like you,” I murmured.
Alex smiled warmly, drooling to say the least. “Everyone says that. I just hope to find her soon.”
“And Mary?” I asked cautiously, not sure how his wife felt about all this.
Alex’s smile faltered for a moment, and he exhaled slowly. “Mary… she is happy for me but I know It’s not easy for her to accept that there’s someone else connected to me in such a profound way.”
I nodded, understanding Mary. “It’s a lot to process, especially when it feels like it came out of nowhere.”
“Exactly,” Alex said. “Mary is the only good thing my mom ever did. She was hurt at first but she knows how important this is to me, and I’m grateful for that.”
He looked down at the photo again, his thumb brushing over the image as if he could somehow reach out to the daughter he is yet to meet.
“What’s her name?” I asked softly.
“Saraya,” he said, the name rolling off his tongue with a reverence I hadn’t heard before. “Her mother named her Saraya. Beautiful, isn’t it?”
I smiled. “It is. It suits her.”
Alex nodded, his eyes distant. “I’ve spent hours imagining what she’s like now. What kind of woman she’s become, what her life is like. Does she know I exist? Does she hate me for not being there? Or… will she want to be a part of my life?”
His vulnerability was raw, and I patted his shoulder lightly. “I’m sure she won’t, Alex. She will give you a chance as long as you don’t give up.”
He met my gaze, his eyes brimming with gratitude. “I won’t. I can’t. She’s my daughter, Arlan. She deserves to know she’s loved.”
Then, there was a moment of silence between us.
“So, Arlan… Enough about me and let’s talk about you. When exactly do you plan on settling down?” Alex asked.
I laughed. “Straight to the point, huh?”
“Well, you’re not getting any younger,” he teased, nudging me with his elbow.
I took a deep breath. “I’ve thought about it, you know. A lot, actually. And I’ve decided that the moment I find the woman who sets my heart on fire, I won’t let go. Until then… what’s the point?”
Alex nodded, a small smile playing on his lips. “Fair enough. But I hope you find her soon, Arlan. You deserve that kind of happiness. But don’t keep everyone waiting for too long.”
“I won’t,” I promised him. “When I find her, I will introduce you to each other immediately.”
Alex smiled. “I can’t wait to finally meet the woman that would drag you out of bachelorhood.”
*PRESENT DAY*
Tears streaked down my face as I stared blankly at the empty glass in my hand. “I’m so sorry, Alex, It’s all my fault,” I muttered. “She just happened to be the woman who sets my heart on…”
The sound of the door creaking open snapped me out of my thoughts. I hastily wiped my face as Matilda walked in angrily and tossed her bag to the ground.
“Drinking again?” she said, folding her arms.
“Don’t start, Matilda,” I said tiredly. “How is Alex? Is he out of danger?”
“Not yet.”
“And Sa…” I stopped midway. “Never mind.”
Matilda raised an eyebrow, a bitter laugh escaping her lips. “Why don’t you ask her yourself, Arlan? You seem to know her better than anyone. After all, you kissed her in Brisbane and got blackmailed for it.”
I winced, her words like daggers. “I know I messed up, okay? But you can be angry with me later. Right now, you need to think for the baby and don’t get worked up.”
“The baby?” Matilda’s voice rose. “The baby? If you cared about the baby, you wouldn’t have left me in that hotel room to chase after her! We were about ten kilometers away, Arlan! Ten kilometers! Yet, you sneaked out to kiss Saraya!”
I opened my mouth to speak, but she cut me off. “And look where it’s gotten us now! Alex is fighting for his life, and you’re going to go down in history as the man who had an affair with his best friend’s daughter-the affair that made him collapsed.”
Her voice cracked, and for a moment, I saw the pain beneath her anger.
“Matilda…”
“What is it about her, Arlan?” she interrupted, her tone desperate now. “What makes her so special?”
I hesitated, the words catching in my throat. How could I explain something I barely understood myself? Finally, I said, “She sets my heart on fire, Matilda.”
Her eyes widened in disbelief. “What?”
“I can’t help it,” I said, my voice breaking. “When I’m with her, it’s like… nothing else in the world matters. She makes me feel alive in a way I can’t explain.”
Matilda laughed bitterly, tears welling in her eyes. “Alive? Alive? And what about me, Arlan? I’m carrying your child, and I’ve spent every single day trying to hold us together while you’re off chasing someone else!”
I looked away, guilt burning through me.
She wiped her eyes and let out a shaky breath. “You know what? I’m done telling you to forget her. I’ll make it easy for you. I’ll become her.”
I looked at her confused. “What are you talking about?”
“I’ll become Saraya,” she said, her voice eerily calm. “I’ll learn how she talks, how she walks, how she laughs. I’ll eat what she eats, drink what she drinks. Maybe then you’ll finally look at me the way you look at her.”
“Matilda, stop…”
“No, you stop!” she snapped. “I’ve given everything to you, Arlan. Everything. And all I’ve ever gotten in return is the scraps of your attention. Do you have any idea how that feels?”
Then I said quietly, “Aren’t we the same, Matilda?”
She froze. “What?”
“You obsess over me,” I said, meeting her gaze. “And I obsess over Saraya. So if anyone should understand how I feel, it’s you, right?”
Her lips parted in disbelief. “You’re unbelievable, Arlan.”
I sighed, running a hand through my hair. “I’m not trying to hurt you, Matilda. But I can’t change how I feel. And neither can you.”
Her shoulders sagged, defeat washing over her. “Then I guess we’re both doomed, aren’t we?”
“I’m sorry, Matilda.” I muttered almost in a whisper. “I truly am.”