ISLA’S POV.
I stopped at the hallway catching my breathe. “Ian is right, I am being passive with Saraya.” I muttered.
I truly understand how he feels but going head to head against another grandchild of mine when my child is on the sick bed is not something I want to do.
I leaned back against the wall recalling how the relationship between Ian and Alex go so bad despite being inseparable years back.
*10 years ago.*
“Alex!” I screamed. “If you can’t learn something from your brother, at least, stop making things more difficult.” I spat.
“Comparing me to him again, right?” He asked. “That is all you’re good at but you know what, I’m done.” He raised his hand in the hand.
“No, you’re not done until I say you’re done.” I retorted. “You’ve just failed to secure a bid that would have helped the financial state of the company and you think you’re done? No, you’re not.” I repeated. “You must find a way of getting back the bid you lost or you can as well forget about being a member of the Newman.”
James entrance interrupted us as he walked up to us. “I heard we lost the bid.”
I clapped my hands. “Oh, we have your brother to thank for that.”
“I’ll make a new proposal and reenter a new negotiation with the Bailey’s. I’m sure I can turn the tide.” James offered.
My face beamed with smiles. “What can I ever do without you?” I cupped his face. Turning to Alex. “You made a mess and your brother is about to clean after you, shouldn’t you be thanking him for saving your ass?”
“Well, I can’t recall asking him to.” Alex retorted.
“Of course, you didn’t,” I shot back, angry at his words. “This is your problem, Alex. You know you need help but never admit you need it. And when someone steps in to fix your mistakes, all you offer is resentment. Maybe if you learned to put your pride aside, you wouldn’t be in this mess.”
Alex rolled his eyes at James, his fists clenched at his sides. “Are you happy now?”
“Will you keep quiet?” I screamed, glaring at Alex.
James, the peacemaker, stepped between us. “Mom, that’s enough,” he said gently. “We’re all under a lot of pressure right now, but this isn’t going to help us one but. I’ll handle the Bailey situation, you don’t have to worry about anything.”
I sighed before turning to James and giving him a smile. He reminded me of me during my younger age and Alex is the exact replica of his father.
To me, James is right, of course. He always was. It was one of the reasons I relied on him so much… too much, maybe.
“Fine,” I relented, my tone softened. “But you have to be very careful, it won’t be easy to reclaim the bid and I hope Alex learns from this.”
Alex scoffed, shaking his head. “Learn?” He muttered under his breath. “Of course. Another lecture about how I’m not good enough.”
“That’s not what I said…”
“It’s what you always say,” he snapped, interrupting me. “Maybe not in those exact words, but it’s always the same. James can do no wrong, and I’m the screw-up. I’ve been hearing it my whole life, and I’m done.”
“Alex…” James started, but Alex was already turning away and tried to go after him.
But I stopped James. “No, let him go,” I said, my voice cold. “If he wants to walk away, let him. Maybe some time to think will do him good.”
“I should go now, Patricia will be coming with me and we leave in the morning. I will do the paper work tonight while she fronts the negotiation. She is better in that area than me.”
I patted James cheeks. “Awwn, what a perfect match. You two compliment each other unlike me and your dad.” I lamented. “He left all the work to me and that is why Alex is the way he is.”
“Mom, you worry too much.” He kissed my forehead. “I will see you when I’m back.”
“See you soon, my boy.” I watched him leave and my heart swelled with pride.
*Present Day*
I opened my eyes, realizing I’d sunk to the floor, my back still against the hallway wall. I allowed my tears to rolled down my cheeks, gently sobbing.
That night ten years ago was the last night I saw my boy.
*The next day (Ten years ago)*
James and Patricia left the next morning before anyone woke up. They must’ve believed they could fix the mess and secure the future of the Newman name. I believed it too.
Those two were a team, friends before they were a couple. But once they left, they never came back to me, to us.
I remember I had spoken to James and Patricia before they boarded and they broke the news of reclaiming the bid. My heart swelled with pride.
“I know you two would do it, I’m so proud of you.”
Two hours later, my phone rang and without looking at the caller, I answered it, expecting it to be James telling me they’d landed safely. Instead, it was a voice I didn’t recognize.
“Mrs. Newman?”
“Yes?” I answered and took a quick glance at my phone, realizing it was from a strange contact. “And who is this?”
“This is Officer Daniels with the aviation authority. I’m so sorry to inform you that Flight 187 crashed about thirty minutes ago. Your son and daughter in law were in it.”
“Don’t tell me…”
“I’m so sorry to break this news to you but there are no survivors.”
My world went still and my heart literally stopped. The ground beneath me gave way as I collapsed to the ground.
“Alex!” I gave out a loud scream.
Alex had rushed in. “Mom? What’s wrong?” Holding me in his hands.
“They’re gone,” I whispered, my voice breaking. “James… Patricia… they’re gone.”
For a moment, Alex stood frozen, his face pale.
“This is all your fault.” I hit his chest severally.
“What?” was all Alex could say.
“If you didn’t messed up that deal… If James didn’t have to fix your mistake…” I sobbed. “Why does it have to be James?”
I regretted the words the moment they left my mouth, but I couldn’t take them back. Alex looked like I had slapped him, his eyes were filled with pain.
He didn’t say anything. He just walked out, and that was the beginning of the end for us.
The news came in the evening, and everything changed. Eighty-seven lives lost, including James and Patricia.
For weeks, I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t function. I would sit by the window, hoping it was all a dream but each taught me I have to cope with a harsher reality.
Day after day, I resented Alex. Deeply. If he hadn’t lost the bid, James wouldn’t have had to clean up his mess. My sweet boy would still be here, alive, laughing, and leading the family with Patricia by his side.
That resentment seeped into everything I did, every word I said to Alex. I couldn’t hide it, no matter how much I tried. And Ian, even as a little boy, was too observant for his age.
One day, Ian overheard me during another heated argument with Alex.
“You’ll never be James,” I had said to his face. “No matter how hard you tried. You killed him and have his blood on your hands.”
“I never asked him to do anything for me.” Alex retorted.
“Your incompetency made him do it, if only you were as half competent as James, my boy will be here.” I yelled. “You killed James and Patricia!”
We didn’t realize Ian was standing at the door until the book he was holding fell from his hand.
I froze, guilt washing over me, but I couldn’t bring myself to apologize. Alex didn’t respond. He simply left the room, leaving Ian standing there, confused and hurt.
That was the moment their relationship changed. Ian stopped looking up to Alex. He avoided Alex like a plague. The distance between them grew with every passing year.
I vowed on the day James and Patricia was laid to rest that I would hand everything to Ian. Ian was their legacy. I owed that much to James, to Patricia, and to the sacrifice they made for this family.
It’s been ten years since then. The Newman empire survived, but the cost was too high.
*Back to present.*
My family splintered, and the guilt I carry feels as heavy as it did a decade ago. Ian is grown and I should fulfil my promises to him but I can’t bring myself to do it at the expense of my only surviving child’s life.
I wiped my face and stood upright, drawing a shaky breath.
I walked toward the large window at the end of the hallway, staring out at the sprawling gardens below. Ian has become my pride, but even that pride has its cracks.
I see his resentment, the bitterness in his eyes when he speaks of Alex. I see the echoes of my mistakes reflected in him.
“James would be disappointed,” I whispered to myself. “He wouldn’t want this.”
“Seeing Alex collapsed must have awakened me.” I chuckled.
But how do I undo the damage I’ve done? How do I bridge the chasm I helped create between Alex and Ian? Between myself and Saraya?
“I must take responsibility and fix everything because things get out of hand.”