Mena
Alessio pushed the gun into my hands, but I stepped back, shaking my head. “I can’t,” my voice trembled. “You can’t ask that of me.”
“Why not?”
I had no idea if he was being serious, but I believed he wasn’t. Of course, I wouldn’t kill anyone. What the hell did he think I looked like?
I was so anti-murder that I couldn’t even kill a bug and insisted on gently leading them outside the house.
“I know he’s a bad person and he’s made a lot of bad decisions-but we can still get him the help he needs,” I suggested. No wonder he told me to kill him. It was most likely because he had the feeling that this kind of crap would leave my mouth.
Alessio chuckled at my plea before a frustrated sigh left his lips. “He killed my uncle. I’m not doing shit,” he stated. “I’ll give him the help he needs right now.”
He raised his gun, but before he could do something, I ran in front of Anson and spread my arms. “No, please,” I shook my head, trying to protect him. Despite everything, I didn’t want him dead. I understood that all the Fanuccis deserved their revenge, but I didn’t want it to happen.
It was unfair to kill him while there were so many options. He could send him to jail, a psychiatric hospital, he could send him anywhere but his grave.
“Mena, you need to fucking move,” Alessio warned, his voice in disbelief.
“No, I’m sorry-but I can’t let you kill him,” I said, my decision made. I knelt beside Anson, who clutched his leg where he had been shot. Blood stained his jeans, and his eyes were weak as he shot me a faint smile.
“It’s okay,” he whispered.
My eyes softened at his acceptance. Anson taking his defeat was something big. I hated him, I really did-but I also felt sorry for him.
“Move,” Alessio demanded. “No,” I replied, covering Anson even better now. “Alessio, there’s something going on with his mental state and he needs help.”
“Move,” he spoke again, and I was sure he hadn’t listened to a word I had said. His eyes were cold and murderous.
“No, he needs help.”
“Move.”
“No.”
“I won’t ask you again-move,” Alessio stared into my eyes, and even though I couldn’t tell what he would do next-I could tell he meant it.
“N-” I began to refuse once more, but before I could finish, Alessio had already taken his shots, and all that filled the room was a loud noise.
I screamed in horror, feeling blood splash on my face, followed by the heavy sound of a head hitting the floor.
He killed him.
Tears streamed down my face, and I couldn’t feel anything. My mind, my body, all went numb.
He murdered him.
Took his life, just like that.
“I asked you to step aside out of courtesy, and I never wanted it to happen this way-but do not disobey me ever again,” Alessio looked down. His warning was strong, but his tone sounded apologetic, and his gaze fixated on the floor.
So, this was the real Alessio.
The Alessio I had painted in the beginning-a cold-blooded, ruthless killer.
“He killed my uncle, he took Gian’s hand-I told you I was going to do this. You were in my way, and I told you to move,” he continued.
“You killed him,” I panted, still traumatized by the loud noise that kept repeating over and over inside my head.
“Yes, I killed him!” Alessio raised his volume. “And when you took that ring with you, you knew what would happen so there’s no point in trying to make me feel bad about it now,” he scoffed. “I killed him, and I don’t give a fuck about what you have to say about it-there!” he shrugged his shoulders.
Clearly.
“You don’t ever think about anyone but yourself,” I whispered loud enough for him to hear.
“I think about you more than I think about anyone,” he spoke back in the speed of light. “That guy tried to rape you, has probably done it before. He has not been there for you, but I was!” Alessio poured out his feelings. “I love you, I really do-but this is my life. This is who I am.”
I swallowed my throat, hearing him admit to the truth. It wasn’t something new, but him saying it out loud meant I couldn’t escape it any longer.
“You knew I was no ordinary man. I kill, and I enjoy killing,” he said, making me feel even more terrified and lost.
“Alessio, please stop,” I begged, not wanting to hear any more.
“And when we get back to the mansion-I’ll throw his head on the pile with the others and celebrate my uncle’s life,” he went on, as if he hadn’t heard me.
“Stop talking, please,” I said again, covering my ears with my hands.
“No, I think you need to hear this,” Alessio was determined to make his point. “I would do anything for you, but there’s one thing I won’t do, and that’s change, because I can’t. I don’t want to.”
I felt trapped and helpless. Call me stupid, but deep down I had hoped he would change. It would’ve made everything so much easier.
“I need you to decide right here and now whether you want to be with me or not,” Alessio pushed. “Because I know what I want, but I’m not going to waste either of our time.”
I felt torn apart inside. On one hand, the horror of what had just happened was overwhelming, and I didn’t know if I could go through something like that again. I just wanted a peaceful life and to come back home to a guy who wouldn’t smack me around because I hadn’t swept the floor or one who would first wash the blood from his clothes before he would join me for dinner.
On the other, I couldn’t deny the intense connection I felt with Alessio. He had made me feel more alive than I ever thought was possible, and I didn’t want to lose that.
“I need an answer,” Alessio pressed on.
There was this other thing that tied me to him. Our love for Naty and the tiny miracle growing inside me which I had yet to tell him. No matter what, I couldn’t imagine my life without him.
“Are you with me or not?” Alessio asked again, his patience wearing thin. There was a flicker of hurt in his eyes as if he couldn’t believe I needed that much time to think about my answer.
“I’m with you,” I breathed. “But I hope you understand that at the moment I do not want to see you, and I do not want to talk to you.”
The air was filled with silence, but then Alessio let out a weak laugh. “You’re with me but you aren’t with me? That’s not good enough for me.”
He was right. I was dismissing his feelings and being completely unreasonable.
He had asked me a question, and I gave him two answers. I made it seem as if Anson meant more to me than he did, but that was not true.
I just didn’t agree with the killing.
This all-or-nothing type of commitment he asked for felt like an impossible thing to answer in the midst of all this.
My mouth was already open, but I hadn’t yet thought of my answer. I just decided to go with the flow and see where my words would take me.
“I-”
As I was about to answer, Donni and that piece of shit that called himself Levi walked in. Both stared at my face, covered in Anson’s blood.
“T-The,” Donni stammered. “Someone’s on the way to clean this up.”
Alessio just hummed in response as if all of this was normal. Maybe it was an everyday thing to them, and they had gotten used to it-but I doubted I could do the same.
“Take her home, get her cleaned,” Alessio instructed.
“Where’s my daughter?” I felt embarrassed, thinking about my current state. She couldn’t see me like this with blood covering my face. Especially not his blood.
“Out with my mom, she’ll be back tomorrow,” Alessio answered. “I do care about you and figured you didn’t want her to see you like this.”
He put emphasis on ‘do,’ making his point clear.
Donni and Isaac rushed forward to help, but I couldn’t even bring myself to meet Isaac’s eyes.
I quickly realized that all of these people were completely insane, and yes, including Isaac, who was supposed to be working for the government.
No one seemed to be right in the head.
“Come on,” Isaac grabbed my arm, but I aggressively swung it away.
“Don’t fucking touch me!” I snapped at him. I would’ve reached for Donni, but in fear of it looking too suspicious, I placed my two hands on the floor and managed to stand up by myself.
If Anson’s words and my thoughts were correct, then Isaac was to blame for a huge chunk of everything that had happened.
I still hadn’t told Alessio, and now was not the right time.
I did want to tell him because I didn’t want him or the Fanuccis behind bars.
Deep down, I felt like a hypocrite. I was willing to work against a government agent to keep the Fanuccis safe, but I had a problem with Alessio killing people.
The same problem Isaac and his peers most likely tried to prevent.
Did that mean I already had my answer about where I stood with Alessio?
I shrugged off my thoughts and began walking, hearing Donni and Isaac’s footsteps behind me.
“Jimena,” Alessio called out, and I stopped in my steps immediately. He called me by my full name and managed to make it sound so cold and distant.
Taking a breath, I turned around to face him, making sure Anson’s body wasn’t in view. That’s the last thing I needed to see at the moment.
Alessio pierced his eyes through mine. “Thanks for always having my back,” he spoke, but his voice was dripping with sarcasm. “You’re the best.”