A week since I stumbled out of his bathroom with ragged breaths and a hammering heart. My head was a tangled mess, and I could barely manage to stay upright, let alone process what had just happened. Somehow, I survived the next half hour, though I could hardly recall the details. Judas had dismissed me for the night by the time I was done, but there was a cold distance in his demeanour. He didn’t look at me, and I didn’t see him after that.
Kyle drove me back to the dorm; it was already past nine. My mind was still racing, and the silence in the car felt suffocating. As soon as we arrived, I bolted to my room without looking back. That night, I collapsed onto my bed in my partially wet jeans and flimsy sweater, too drained to even change. Only then did it hit me that I’d left my jacket back at his place.
The thought of it made me feel terrible. I realized I had doubted his blindness, which felt like something a human shouldn’t do. Just because someone didn’t appear vulnerable didn’t mean they weren’t. There was no reason for him to pretend-no one wanted to feel helpless, especially not a man like him. Vulnerability didn’t suit him, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t there, hidden beneath the surface.
I lay there, staring at the ceiling. And to my horror, my mind drifted to him. A man who shouldn’t be named. His hunter eyes spearing to me, like was looking at me and then he wasn’t. The man who sounded like poison and evil. Before I knew it, my heartbeat was accelerating. His eyes. His face. His chiselled jaw. His sinful body. What was I even thinking? Why was I even thinking about him? This was not normal, cause no man had made me feel this way- so terrorised and enticed.
The night blurred, and I didn’t sleep. I couldn’t. Whenever I closed my eyes, his mocking, teasing, intense eyes haunted me. This was definitely not normal. I had known him for two days, and here I was thinking of him. My mind churned with confusion and frustration.
Why him? Why now? I tossed and turned, trying to shake off the persistent thoughts. His grin, so infuriatingly predatory, replayed in my head. The feminine side of me admired his beauty, but the sane and rational side of me reminded me of all the layers he wore. It was harder to look inside him. and believe me when I say he was dangerous. My conscience was never wrong.
I sighed running a hand through my hair. This was pointless. I needed to sleep. I needed to get him out of my head. But the more I tried, the stronger his presence became. It was as if he had taken up residence in my thoughts.
I couldn’t escape him. I couldn’t ignore him, no matter how irrational it seemed.
******
The first rays of dawn began to filter through the curtains. I took a deep breath feeling exhausted. Alina was still snoring when I showered and changed into a pair of black fleece leggings and a black sweater. Grabbing my books, I stuffed them into the bag with unnecessary tantrums. I laced up my boots and grabbed my brown puffer jacket. It was colder than yesterday, a woollen cap and scarf would come in handy.
By the time Alina shifted in her sheets, I was ready for the university. I ignored my mind for a while and rummaged through my drawer. Where was my lip gloss? Did I lose it again? Letting out a sigh, I grabbed my least favourite one and applied a decent layer before grabbing my bag and making my way to the cafeteria. I was early, giving me enough time to have breakfast which I usually skip.
Nothing special though. Scrambled eggs with cheese and plain pancakes. After having breakfast, I started walking towards the university. It was not that far, just a few minutes away. As I took a turn, I felt it. The unmistakable chill ran down my spine.
It had been a week since I felt I was being watched. All while I ignored the feeling of being followed. Maybe it was just my imagination or paranoia. Lack of sleep actually.
And my paranoid mind was humouring me with fear and terrifying thoughts. Even in the dorm, I felt invisible eyes on me. Not to mention the lack of sleep. I couldn’t sleep at night. During the day, I found myself drifting in and out of reality and dreams, in class, I dozed off. I couldn’t focus on my studies to my horror.
And in all this, those hunter’s eyes haunted me to make my situation worse. Truly haunted. He was everywhere. Damn posters plastered around campus, girls ogling at his pictures, in the dorm where Alina couldn’t stop dreaming about him. His presence was inescapable, suffocating. And after college, I had to face him. Our meetings were short, but they were enough to unravel me. I’d feed him, sometimes read him a book or two, and help him move around. For that matter, I had started to wear gloves. There was no way I was going to touch him skin to skin.
Not because I was disgusted. No, that was the last resort. Ever since that first day, I realised that touching him was not mentally or physically good for me. It was every time I touched him, he left a residue, an invisible mark that seeped into my very being. I couldn’t sleep after being near him, breathe properly, or know what was happening around the world. The world itself seemed to shrink and warp, bending to his presence. His eyes… they followed me even when he wasn’t there, burning into my thoughts, my dreams, my reality. It was a relentless torment; a ghost I couldn’t exorcise.
Oh, and he seemed to maintain his distance too, much to my relief. After that day, he hadn’t asked me to prepare a bath for him or any sort of activity that involved him without his clothes. This past week followed a routine. I’d help him dress all while keeping my eyes shut, guiding his hands to buttons and shoes. The little activities blurred the doubts I had.
Heaving a deep sigh, I turned around the corner when I collided with someone. The impact had me tumbling back and almost landing on my buttocks before two hands moved my way and grabbed me by the shoulders, balancing me. My eyes widened as I recognised the smiling face.
“Ivan,” I breathed out as he removed his hands from my shoulders and pushed his hands into the pocket of his Olive jacket. He wore a white turtleneck sweater underneath. His white pants matched the sweater. His bright green eyes sparkled and his sandy brown hair tousled carelessly.
His smile widened into a grin. Breathe, Sera, breathe.
“Sera,” his soft voice caressed my ears and I felt my cheeks burning with the warmth of his voice. His eyes raked over me for a brief second before coming to hold mine. “Well, good morning to you.”
“Good morning,” I swallowed hard, dusting the invisible dust off my jacket. I averted my eyes and looked around the campus, taking in the quiet atmosphere of the early morning. The sun was just beginning to rise, casting a warm golden hue over the buildings.
“You’re early,” he said, moving beside me as we walked into the building. Our footsteps echoed softly in the nearly empty corridor. There were hardly any students around, except the guard and receptionist who gave us a brief nod of acknowledgement.
I narrowed my eyes playfully at him. “So are you,” he teased nudging me lightly with his shoulder. His familiar presence made me feel at ease. “Actually, I was thinking about exploring the library before class.”
“Oh…” I smiled tucking away the strands of hair that had fallen into my face. “I was also going to the library.”
“Did you have breakfast?” his voice laced with concern as he glanced at me.
“I did,” I replied, adjusting the strap of my bag. “And you?”
“I was going to, matter of fact,” he admitted, running a hand through his hair. “But a certain someone stood me up.”
I stopped walking and turned to face him. Was it Friday today? Feeling pathetically bad, I gave him an apologetic smile. “I forgot.”
He rolled his eyes as he nudged me to walk. We ascended the stairs and when we were less than a few doors away from the library, he stopped. I instinctively followed and looked up at him in confusion. “How about dinner?” His eyes glinted.
I licked my lips in nervousness giving him another apologetic smile. “I would love to, but… I have a part-time job,” I nibbled on my lips. “I’m afraid I’d be too tired.”
“I can pick you up,” he offered with a reassuring smile. “Or you can drive yourself, whatever suits you.”
My heart fluttered and I couldn’t believe he was asking me out. I nodded with more force than intended. “I’ll text you the address after my shift.”
“Great then.” He grinned and winked. Whatever butterflies were flapping their wings in my stomach, turned into a whole damn zoo. “Oh, and you look good,” He whispered.
I felt a warm blush creeping up my cheeks. “Thanks,” I murmured, ducking my head to hide my embarrassment.
Why did he have this effect on me? It was just a simple compliment, but my heart was racing like I’d run a marathon. I could feel the heat rising to my face, painting my cheeks red. How did he always know exactly what to say to make me feel this way? It was like he knew the power he held over me.
I couldn’t let him see how flustered I was. Just play it cool. Breathe.
I peeked up at him through my lashes. He was looking ahead, his hands in his pockets, but what caught my attention was the red that painted his neck and the side of his face. I almost giggled. I couldn’t wait for the dinner.
********