He was looking at me.
Unshielded hunter’s eyes, staring right through my soul and piercing me as if he could demolish me whole. I shifted unconsciously on my feet, trying to ignore the sensation of my wet jeans clinging to my legs. The cold I felt seeped deeper than the damp fabric or the snow that had gotten inside my jacket. It was his gaze that truly chilled me to the bone.
I wondered what was happening in his head, and the chilly wind didn’t help either. It took everything in me to shut that window. And wasn’t he feeling cold, wearing just a robe like yesterday? At least he had the modesty to tie it up.
I had to jump the wall and eat the snow. Just great. He didn’t have the damn modesty to hire a gatekeeper. Twenty freaking minutes I had to stand there yelling like a mad woman. Anyway.
I averted my eyes unable to hold his predatory gaze and observed my surroundings.
The room was spacious and even larger than the office we were in yesterday. How rich was this man? The high ceilings, adorned with a grand crystal and gold chandelier, mirror the ceiling like an endless black hole. The dark marbled floors veneered with gold designs and covered with plush Persian rugs, felt luxurious under my dirty shoes. Was he mad I stepped onto his posh rug with my snow-covered shoes? But he couldn’t see, then what got him so riled up?
The king-sized four-poster bed draped in rich burgundy silk stood. Antique armchairs and a velvet sofa surrounded a marble table with books and a crystal vase of fresh flowers.
Art in gilded gold frames adorned the walls. Like seriously, now I wonder what good deeds he did back in his life to swim in money.
I unconsciously stepped to the side when my eyes caught the small shimmering object on the shelf. A golden birdcage. It was small, too small for any bird, but it was beautiful with shimmering crystals over the dome and door. A faint smile touched my lips. Cages were lovely unless we were inside them rather than admiring them from outside.
I was so immersed in admiring that I didn’t notice the movements in my periphery. It took me off-guard when someone knocked on the door. I almost dropped the cage with a sudden yelp. Standing straight, I looked at the door. A middle-aged woman walked in with a cart. I looked at her and then at the Satan sitting on the couch.
He tilted his head, his eyes now distant, looking straight, without any focus. I nibbled on my lips as the woman rolled the cart towards the table, and stopped. She stepped back and bowed politely.
” , .” He haughtily flicked his hand dismissing her tersely. The woman bowed again, and without looking at me, she walked out before closing the door.
(Your dinner, sir,)
I narrowed my eyes feeling pity for the woman and exceptional abhorrence for him. There was no need for him to be rude.
And why was he not eating?
He is blind, Seraphina. I reminded myself again and awkwardly cleared my throat.
That seemed to catch his attention, cause he snapped his head at me, this time his eyes were unfocused. He casually leaned back on the couch and spread his legs wide exposing his thick, muscled thighs and long legs. His arms carelessly spread over the back of the sofa and he curved his lips.
“Come close,” My cheeks flared with embarrassment and I averted my eyes to anywhere but at his legs. Why the hell was I behaving like a man in the Victorian era glimpsing a woman’s legs for the first time? Oh, God. This man had no shame. What if he mistakenly flashed his…. His…. that… damn! I couldn’t even think about that-my poor eyes.
It took me a whole minute to process his command and take a shaky step towards the couch. But that didn’t seem close enough, because he twisted his lips and beckoned me over with his fingers.
“Closer,” I frowned fighting every cell in my body not to obey. I clutched onto the strap of the bag tight and nervously circled the couch to sit beside him.
He took a deep breath and then without taking his distant gaze off the unfocused point, he ordered.
“Feed me,” My heart skipped a beat with a jolt of surprise coursing through my veins. My mind scrambled to process his words. And then I nodded as if he could see me and stood up to plate the food. As soon as I took the lid off, the rich and mouth-watering aroma infiltrated my nostrils. It took every ounce of self-control in me to not have a bite and find out what magic was in there.
I focused on the task and put the Russian steak marinated with soy sauce and Japanese sea salt. I placed the plate on the table in front of him and rubbed my sweaty hands together. I took a deep breath. $20, 000, Sera. Leave your self-esteem at the gates and do it for yourself and your mother.
That was enough to make my hands tremble as I cut the steak, carefully moving the piece towards his face. I could feel my heart pounding in my ears as he didn’t move an inch but kept his eyes on the ceiling. Right, he was blind.
I cleared my throat and called out not realising how timid I sounded. “S-sir…”
His jaw twitched and he tilted his head to the side, his eyes narrowing with an intensity that made my pulse quicken. I thought he was glaring at me for a moment but then a slow, predatory smile spread across his face. He opened his mouth and I swallowed hard, my throat dry. He clasped his hand firmly around my wrist guiding the fork to his mouth with a controlled strength that sent a shiver down my spine.
His lips wrapped around the fork, his gaze never leaving mine, and he pulled away with deliberate slowness making me forget how cold it was in the room. His eyes dark and unwavering seemed to burn into me as if challenging me.
I ignored the sensations and pulled my hand away to focus on the task at hand. Feed him and maintain a twenty-feet distance away from him. I could tell my cheeks were burning, either from embarrassment or the way his touch left a lingering sensation behind. Gathering my strength, I cut the steak into small pieces that only seemed a hassle as my hands shook. I put the knife and fork down and rubbed my clammy hands on my jeans.
Calm the hell down.
As I took several deep breaths, I summoned the courage to move the fork toward his mouth my fingers trembling slightly. But this time, he didn’t immediately open his mouth. A knot of apprehension formed in my stomach as I hesitated, unsure of what to do next. I sighed softly, feeling a pang of self-doubt creeping in.
“Sir…” I began, my voice trailing off uncertainly.
His hand reached out for my wrist once more his touch firm. It dawned on me that maybe he reached for me to make it easier for him to eat. I felt a pang in my chest. Maybe I was doubting him for no reason.
I cleared my throat, a question bubbling in my head. I contemplated but then asked.
“If you don’t mind me asking, what do you do, Mr. Romanovski?” Last, when I googled him, there was only material information about him on the internet. It wasn’t like I was interested in him or anything, but talking often gave me some kind of calm instead of forming scenarios in my head and believing them.
He took his time savouring the bite and ran his tongue over his lips, the act so casual. I cut another piece of steak and waited for him to answer.
He monotonously muttered. “I kill.” The fork almost slipped through my fingers and hit the plate as I looked wide-eyed at him choking, coughing violently.
“Relax, Ms. Rosewood, it’s a joke, not a dick, don’t try to take it so hard,” his voice gravelly with a cold chuckle.
I forced a smile trying to regain my calm though he couldn’t see me. “What do you do, then?”
His eyes darkened the smile never reaching them he tilted his head back. “I make problems disappear. Permanently.” I cut the steak into larger pieces now shivering altogether.
“That’s… menacing,” I muttered unconsciously, but before I could realise what I just said, he was already humming.
He leaned in closer his voice dropping to a threatening whisper. “Menacing? No. I’d call it necessary. Some people just don’t deserve to exist. They’re… waste.”
My mouth suddenly felt dry and licked my lips with a shake of my head. “And who decides that?” I poked the steak with the fork and again moved it to his mouth. This time, he grabbed my wrist with a steel-like grip.
I felt everything around me blurring as he grinned. “I do. It’s a judgment I’ve honed over the years, Ms. Rosewood.” He wrapped his lips around the fork and chewed on the piece.
My heart pounded in my chest. “That’s a dangerous way to live.”
He let go of my wrist and leaned back still smiling. “Life is dangerous. But some of us thrive in the danger. We become the darkness others fear.” I swallowed hard dropping the topic realising he was far more twisted than any emotion.
Only I know how I managed to feed him those last pieces of steak, cause the closer I was to him, the more dangerous he seemed.
Grabbing the empty plate, I put it under the cart. All while his words echoed in my head. We become the darkness others fear. Did we? Was it a choice or inevitability?
As I rolled the cart to the corner I stole a glance at him. His face was obscured as he pulled out a cigarette from his robe and lit it up as if it were a learned act.
Whatever it was, I should keep my distance from him. I took off my jacket placed it on the shelf and lightly patted the slightly wet sweater.
“Prepare the bath,” My hands stilled and I slowly looked at him from the distance. He puffed out the smoke and I hated that smell more than anything. I nodded.
“Y-yes, sir,” Something strange had settled in my chest. I couldn’t grasp it, and I couldn’t shake it either. It’s deeper and darker than anything I’ve felt ever. We become the darkness others fear. I could almost scoff.
I opened the door that I was sure led to the bathroom. My jaw ticked. This much money and he still needed others’ fear to feel satiated. Just great.
Just like the room, his bathroom was no less than huge. Larger than the dorm I share with Alina. I was utterly astonished by the sheer luxury that enveloped me. The darkness of the black walls and cabinets seemed to absorb the very essence of light. The warm glow from the vertical light fixtures flanking the mirror cast elongated shadows.
I stepped in, unsure of what to do.
The vanity was with an integrated sink, sleek, and rested upon a countertop that gleamed like polished granite marble. Neatly arranged toiletries and a large mirror. What did he need a mirror for? He was blind.
It took me a moment to find the shower area and it nearly stole my breath away. Encased in glass. Overhead, the showerheads are placed with built-in shelves with bottles of expensive shampoos and body washes.
And a larger-than-life bathtub in the middle. Yeah, rich, filthy rich. I walked to the tub and played with the faucet buttons before I found the one I was looking for.
I checked the temperature-making sure the water was not scalding hot or cold. But then an idea popped into my head to ease my curiosity. I let the tub fill with hot water, too hot I could even see the steam filling the room.
Satisfied with my work, I walked back into the room and beamed with excitement I had never felt before. “The bath’s ready,” he was standing near the window puffing out the smoke.
We become the darkness others fear.
I watched as he nodded and took off his robe, and my mouth dried up. Not even an inch of his back was uncovered-tattoos sprawled across his skin in a chaotic drapery of thorny vines, serpents winding around his spine, and skulls staring out with hollow eyes. The intricate designs seemed to pulse with a life of their own. The robe slowly slipped off his shoulder and landed on the ground with a soft thud.
My cheeks burned as I quickly averted my eyes, a rush of heat flooding my face out of human courtesy and a need to give him some aspect of privacy. Despite my best efforts to give him space, he seemed utterly shameless, standing tall and unbothered by his exposed state.
With confidence he might have borrowed from Satan himself, he beckoned me over with his fingers, a slight smirk playing at the corner of his lips. ” , ,” His voice rumbled.
I swallowed hard, the dryness in my mouth making it difficult to speak or even breathe properly. My feet moved almost of their own accord, drawing me closer to him despite the whirlwind of emotions raging inside me. The room seemed to shrink around us, the air thick with an unspoken tension as I obeyed his command.
I frowned, not understanding what he said, but I walked to him regardless and hesitated. He extended his hand and hovered over me for a few moments and then he found me. His hand gripped my arm tightly and he moved it up to my shoulder before draping his huge arm around my shoulder god, was he tall? I could barely reach his collar bone and this man thought it was convenient to use me as a crutch.
His fingers brushed against the thin fabric of my sweater, and I could feel his touch seeping through the cloth and settling into my bones.
“Sir,” I began, my voice trembling slightly.
He tilted his head, his eyes locking onto mine with an intensity that made it hard to look away. ” ,” he murmured, his tone softening ever so slightly.
(Don’t be afraid.)
The tattoos on his body shifted and danced.
“I don’t understand,” My voice barely above a whisper. “What did you say?”
A hint of amusement flickered in his eyes as he repeated, this time his voice was low, gravelly. ” , .” His fingers gently trailed up my arm. “Lead me, little bird.”
The nickname caught me off guard, and I felt a strange mixture. I nodded slowly, gathering my courage as I grabbed his bicep with both of my hands and frowned when it still didn’t fit. What… what was he made of? Steel or granite, because there was no way a man had any authority to exude such manliness.
He was not looking at me, his face set in a straight line, eyes distant making me question my sanity once more.
He reached for my hand with his other one. And it took everything in me to not shiver under his touch.
I carefully led him to the bathroom, squinting my eyes when he didn’t budge. Couldn’t he see the steam in here? If he was pretending, he would’ve shown some kind of reaction right? Maybe a subtle twitch of his jaw, or stiffening of his body. But he looked oblivious as he unconsciously took a step towards the tub as if he knew where that was through his memory.
I swallowed hard, slowly loosening my grip and stepping back.
Judas took a step forward, his arms extended as he reached for something and then stopped. His wide broad back rippled with muscles.
He stood there and then turned his head to the side his unfocused gaze slithering on the mirror but he wasn’t looking at anything. I held my breath as his lips curled, from the side he looked so sinister as he hooked his fingers into the band of his boxers and before I could react he pulled it down his thighs and then legs. No. The boxers weren’t the problem. No, not at all.
My eyes widened and I averted my gaze to his face. His grin widened and I swiftly turned around burying my face into my hands. Oh god. Oh my god. I shut my eyes trying to get the image of his naked…. Behind out of my head. I didn’t see anything. I didn’t see anything. There was nothing to see. Not even the tattoo on his tailbone. And most definitely not his muscular thighs and- shut up, Sera!
Suddenly my eyes snapped open and I yelped. “Wait!” My heart leapt in my chest violently and I hope he had stopped and hadn’t gotten into the tub. “It’s…” I gulped. “The water is hot.” I barely managed to get the words out and walked back without turning around. When I thought I had reached the tub, I shut my eyes feeling him standing near the tub.
His warmth spread throughout the bathroom – strange for a man who seemed to breathe and thrive in darkness.
We become the darkness others fear.
He didn’t say anything and waited as I hurriedly turned on the tap with cold water. I would’ve burned him, hurt him. What was I thinking? I kept my eyes closed and fidgeted with my hands as the temperature became sufferable while he stood behind me naked. I was grateful he was blind though I had my doubts because I didn’t know what I would’ve done in this situation.
“You can get in,” My voice was somehow calm. In the next moment, I heard the splash of water and then another. Looking over my shoulder, I opened my right eye and looked through the slit. And sighed in relief finding him nestled in the tub which looked smaller for his larger-than-life body. To be honest, I would’ve drowned in that tub if it was me.
I opened both my eyes grabbed the body wash and placed the bottle at the edge, he could use it. Deep breaths. In and out.
******