ARLAN’S POV
I traced my thumb over the edges of the sonogram and my hand trembled. It was such a small thing-this picture but it was about to change the course of my life.
The walls felt like they were closing in and I felt so trapped. Trapped by my own feelings, by circumstances I couldn’t control, and by the fear of losing her.
The thought of having a child, a life that I now have a responsibility to protect and what I would do with Saraya threw me off balance.
I laid my back on my king size bed but my buzzing phone which was on the table got me up almost immediately.
I checked and It was Alex. I hesitated for a moment before answering.
“Yeah?”
“Arlan,” He called out. “Congratulations, man. I just can’t believe what I just heard.”
“What is this about?” I asked, not in the mood for long talks.
“Oh come on, don’t play dumb with me, Arlan. Matilda just called me and told me you two are going to be a parent. Finally, I’m so happy for you.”
“God damn it!” I cussed under my breath, running a hand over my face. Matilda was forcing my hands.
How could she tell Alex a news she had just told me less than an hour ago. I knew the game she was playing and it was just a matter of time before it got to Saraya’s ears.
“What?” Alex asked. “You’re not happy you’re going to be a father?” He asked.
“No… not that.” I stammered. “It’s just complicated.”
“I understand you perfectly, the news is usually overwhelming at first and you might even develop cold feet but as time goes on, you will see it’s one of the best thing to have happened to you.” He encouraged me.
“I wish it was that simple,” I muttered.
“It never is, Arlan,” Alex said, his voice steady. “You’ve got this, man. At least this would solidify your relationship with Matilda.”
“We were never in a relationship that would be needing us to solidify with a a baby and you know it.” I snapped at Alex. “I’m sorry.” I exhaled deeply. “I didn’t intend to take it out on you.”
“I’ve known you two to be friends for the longest of time and right now, she is carrying your baby. Can you really say you don’t have a relationship with her?”
“Believe me or not, Alex. It’s not what you think. She drugged me to have her way with me.” I spilled.
A gasp escaped from Alex’s mouth and a pause followed. “You don’t mean it?” He sighed. “I’m finding this so hard to believe that Matilda would stoop so low to make you a father against your own wish.”
“The most frustrating part of it is I can’t recall all that happened that night, no matter how hard I try, all I have is a blurry memory.”
“This isn’t right.” Alex said with so much disbelief in his voice. “I never would have believed this, had I heard this information elsewhere.”
“Well, you’re hearing it from me first hand, exactly why as much I want to keep the baby, this isn’t a good news for me, I want to have a child with the woman I love and not someone who forced herself on me against my will.”
“There is no evidence to prove she did git pregnant against your will, besides everyone had always thought of you two as a match made couple, it would be difficult to prove she did force herself on you.” Alex explained and I know he’s right.
“What are you going to do now?” He asked
“As much as I hate what she’s done, the baby is innocent and has nothing to with Matilda’s sins,” I said, my voice softening. “I want to be there for my child. I’ll co-parent with Matilda, but that’s it. If she is thinking marriage because of the baby, then she can dream on.”
“That’s fair,” he said after a pause. “But seeing how obsessed she is with you, do you think she would agree to co-parenting.”
“Her feelings are not my responsibilities, I genuinely do not feel that way about her.” I explained. “It’s not fair to the both of us to tie our lives together when the feeling isn’t mutual.”
“Sounds like there is someone you’ve fallen for.” Alex pointed out.
I paused. On a good day, I would’ve easily introduced the woman that makes my heart raced to Alex but how can I tell him I’m deeply in love with his daughter?
How could I even begin to explain that Saraya wasn’t some fleeting crush and I genuinely love her?
“Arlan?” Alex’s voice drew me back. “You still there?”
“Yeah,” I muttered, clearing my throat. “It’s complicated, man.” I finally said, finding it hard to admit or deny his words.
He chuckled softly, but I could sense the curiosity in his tone. “Love always is. But whoever she is, I hope she’s worth it.”
“She is,” I said before I could stop myself.
“Come on, tell me about her.” He pressed. “Is she someone I know?” He added.
Not wanting to lie to him. “Hmmm, I’m not in the right frame of mind to talk about her right now.”
The line went quiet for a moment. “You’re serious about her,” Alex finally said. “I can hear it in your voice.”
“Yeah.” The confession slipped out before I could hold it back. “I am.”
“Well, if she’s the one, don’t let anything stop you,” he said. “But tread carefully, especially now that you’re expecting a baby. A baby changes everything, even if it’s not with the woman you love.”
I nodded. “I know. Thanks, Alex.”
We ended the call, and I set my phone down, staring at it as if it could somehow solve all my problems. My mind spun with thoughts of Saraya. I pictured her laugh, the way her eyes sparkled, her sexy and warm body.
But she was Alex’s daughter. “Would I ever summon the courage to tell Alex the truth? Even if do, would Alex be willing to accept me knowing I’m having a child with Matilda?”
Speaking of that devil, I dialled Matilda’s number but the ended the call as soon as my call came in. “That sly witch.”
Matilda was playing games, and I wasn’t in the mood to entertain her manipulations. If she thought she could force my hand by telling Alex or anyone else before I could even process the situation myself, she was in for a rude awakening.
I sat on the edge of the bed, my elbows on my knees, and ran a hand through my hair. The sonogram sat on the nightstand like an accusing reminder of the mess my life had become. I hated the circumstances, but I couldn’t hate the child.
After a moment of deliberation, I picked up my phone and scrolled to Matilda’s name again. If she wanted to play hardball, I’d let her know I wasn’t going to be her pawn.
This time, when I called, she answered almost immediately, her tone sickly sweet.
“Arlan,” she said from the other end. “I wasn’t expecting your call so soon, you said we would talk in the morning.”
“You left me with no other choice since you were too anxious to wait.” I yelled. “What the hell are you playing at, Matilda?” I demanded.
“Excuse me?” she replied, feigning innocence.
“Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about,” I snapped. “You told Alex about the baby. Why?”
“Because he deserved to know,” she said, her tone turning defensive. “He’s our friend, Arlan. Don’t you think he’d find out eventually?”
“That wasn’t your decision to make,” I growled. “We both know you did that because of Saraya.”
“Arlan!” She snapped. “Alex is my friend as much as he is yours, you have no right telling what to do.”
“And isn’t it a good thing?” She asked. “Once Saraya knows I’m pregnant with your child, you won’t have to do the explanation with your mouth, all you have to do is cut her off.”
I laughed bitterly. “A good thing? You mean trapping me in a situation I never wanted? Drugging me, Matilda? That’s manipulation.”
“Don’t drag me into this, do you have the evidence of me drugging you?” She asked. “We both drank from the same wine bottle, so what are you talking about?”
“Your conscience is all the evidence you need Matilda, you know the truth.” I retorted.
“So you’re renouncing the baby right?” She asked.
“The baby is innocent in all of this,” I interrupted. “And I’ll be there for him or her, no matter what. But you and I? There’s nothing between us, Matilda. Not now, not ever. You need to understand that.”
Matilda gave a small laugh, then she replied. “You say that now, but once the baby’s here, you’ll see. We would be one family, Arlan. You just wait.”
I shook my head, even though she couldn’t see me. “The only thing we’ll be is co-parents. That’s it. If you think this baby is some sort of leverage, you’re going to be disappointed.”
I ended the call before she could respond, throwing the phone on the bed