ARLAN’S POV:
Saraya ended the call and I knew I deserved it, I leaned back in my chair, rubbing a hand down my face.
She was right. I was confusing her, and it wasn’t fair. I had tried to keep my distance, to draw a line between us, but every time I thought I could walk away, I found myself reaching for her again.
The thought of seeing her earlier had kept me awake all night and when I did see her, I almost lost every sense of reasoning.
It had taken me a great deal of discipline to contain myself while we were in the boardroom meeting.
I sighed heavily, staring at the phone in my hand as I was trying hard to resist the urge to call her again.
And Matilda…
The memory of her walking into my office just an hour ago replayed in my mind like a scene from a movie.
***
*One Hour Ago*
I had barely closed the door to my office when Matilda turned to me. “I hope you don’t mind me dropping by unannounced,” she said, taking a seat on the couch.
I raised an eyebrow while chuckling, and sat opposite her. “You’ve never been one for formalities, Matilda. What brings you here?”
She hesitated for a moment, her polished demeanor faltering just slightly. “Is she the one?”
“Who?”
“The one who causes you loss of appetite and blind you to every other woman?” She pressed further.
I chuckled at her question. “Who are you talking about?” I asked looking away for a moment.
“You know I’m talking about Saraya, don’t you?” She asked with a strain in her voice.
“What are you talking about?” I looked into her eyes. “Saraya is just a business partner.”
“And your best friend daughter.” She added. “You shouldn’t forget that for a minute.”
I knew where the conversation was heading to but I decided to play it by the ear. “So what are you insinuating?” I asked, putting up a calm font.
“You do know what I’m insinuating, don’t you?” She asked.
“Seems like you have plenty of time on hands to imagine things that are not true, in that case, I have to tend to other business matters.” I said while I stood on my feet.
“I’m here to help you, Arlan.”
“I can’t remember asking for your help.” I refuted in a tone higher than I had intended.
“You need help to get over her, you can use me.” She offered.
I swallowed hard, reflecting on what she had just said. “You should get going, Matilda.” Was all I say after thinking.
“I’m not done talking.”
“Haven’t you said enough?” I almost yelled but managed to my tone in check.
Matilda took a deep breath, her hands clasped tightly in her lap. “I’ve been carrying this for years now, and I can’t keep it to myself anymore.”
I knew it, I knew what she wanted to say and I wanted to avoid it. “Matilda, please take your leave.”
“I’ll leave after I’m done saying what I have to say.”
“Matilda…”
“When I first met you six years ago,” she began, her eyes locking onto mine, “I knew there was something different about you. Something that made you stand out from every other man I’d ever known.”
I stiffened, a sinking feeling forming in my gut. “It was finally happening.” I told myself.
“Let me finish,” she interrupted, her voice soft but firm. “I’ve been in love with you, Arlan. Ever since that day. You’ve been the only man I’ve ever truly loved.”
The air in the room seemed to grow heavier. “Matilda,” I said carefully, choosing my words as if they were stepping stones over a treacherous river. “I’m sorry…”
“Its fine for you to use me, I’m okay with it.” She quickly added cutting me short. “You don’t have to feel burdened when I’m fine with it, you can use me to get rid of your feelings for her.”
I ran a hand through my hair, trying to make sense of the situation. “You’ve been an incredible friend to me, Matilda. And I value that friendship more than you know. But…”
Her face fell, the flicker of hope in her eyes dimming. “But you don’t feel the same way,” she finished for me.
I nodded my head, my chest tightening. “I don’t and the last time I would ever do is to use your feelings. I care about you as a friend.”
She nodded slowly, blinking back tears, the sight of it broke my heart. “I thought maybe, after all this time, you might feel something too. I guess I’m too late.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, the words feeling inadequate.
She stood abruptly, smoothing her skirt as she regained her composure. “Don’t be. It’s better to know the truth than to keep hoping for something that will never happen.”
I stood as well, unsure of what to say. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“You didn’t,” she said with a small, bittersweet smile. “You’ve always been honest, Arlan. I respect that.”
With that, she turned and walked out of my office, leaving me to think about what I really want.
***
Back to the Present
I exhaled deeply, while Matilda’s has always been my very good friend, accompanying me to parties when she can, we have always drew compliments from others who have mistaken us for an item, my feelings for her have ways been platonic.
Matilda’s words had caught me off guard, but they also made me confront a truth I’d been avoiding: my feelings for Saraya.
What was I doing? I couldn’t keep bouncing between emotions, sending mixed signals to the one person who made me feel alive in a way I hadn’t felt in years.
Matilda would remain my friend after resolving her feelings but Saraya… Saraya was my present, my future, if I could only convince her to let me in.
I looked at the phone again, tempted to call her back. But I knew I shouldn’t. Not yet. Not until I figured out how to give her the clarity she wanted and deserved.
For now, all I could do was hope that she’d give me another chance, one I know I didn’t deserve but wanted more than anything.