CHAPTER 110
ROBERT’S POV
My chauffeur arrived late yesterday and got a car for me. We rode on it, following Lily from a considerable distance so she wouldn’t suspect anyone was following her. My chauffeur once drove for undercover operations for the FBI, so he was a master at that.
Lily lived in a luxurious estate which made me believe her job was paying her really well. The security was tight. As a result, it was a bit hard for us to get in. Apparently, the security men at the entrance/exit gate won’t let anyone enter without proof in the form of an ID card showing you are a resident of the estate. And if you’re visiting, they’ll have to get a confirmation call from the resident you’re visiting before they can let you in. We were only able to get in because one of the security guards knew my family and I also tipped them.
Arriving at Lily’s house a luxurious but simple bungalow with a well-manicured lawn, neatly paved driveway, a cosy porch, and walls painted in a soft cream hue, we parked a short distance from the property to avoid drawing any suspicion from her side.
I wanted to walk up to her front door and knock but was afraid she wouldn’t open it when she sees it’s me. Even if she does open it, she’ll definitely slam the door in my face. It was getting late yet I couldn’t come up with any idea on how to go about this. I have been so eager to meet her again, but being faced with the reality, I found myself frozen with doubt and hesitation.
The windows of her house were curtained, so I couldn’t make out anything happening inside the house no matter how hard I tried to look. What was she doing? Were my kids in there too? Our kids? I need to know. The curiosity roasted my guts like a relentless heat.
“Boss, are we spending the night here?” My chauffeur asked, noticing my lack of movement.
I was still thinking of how to reply to him when the front door to Lily’s house clicked open and she came out. Her hair was wrapped in a floral hair bonnet and she was clad in a spaghetti stripped night top and cute pink pyjama bottoms that displayed her straight legs and supple thighs.
Even while preparing for sleep, she looked this beautiful. She kept getting more beautiful with each passing day. Looking at her now, I couldn’t believe how blind I had been all those years, failing to see the timeless beauty that had been right in front of me since high school.
She was carrying a small sand bucket with a plant growing from it. Keeping it on top of the porch pavement, I watched closely as she nurtured it as if it were a newlyborn baby. This was my chance.
“Don’t follow me. Wait for me here,” I said to my chauffeur. He had wanted to say something but I couldn’t make out what it was as I quickly got out of the car, slamming the door shut.
Cautiously, I approached Lily on the porch. She was unaware of my presence, still tending to the plant in the sand bucket. She was spraying something on it probably fertilizer.
I was hesitant to call for her attention because I didn’t know how she’d react this time. She might slap me again, harder this time or even find a tool at her disposal to use as a makeshift weapon against me or scream to alert her neighbours. The odds of any of that happening were alarmingly high, so I had to tread carefully.
My heart raced as I took in a deep breath. Bracing myself for whatever might happen, I called her name, pronouncing it as though it was my first time. “Lily…”
Her breath caught and her eyes widened as she turned and saw me. Now that I had a closer look at her, a much better view, she looked even more beautiful. Just too beautiful to be real. But then, her expression veered sharply to anger, her eyes literally burning me to ashes.
“What are you doing here?” I could feel all the anger and hatred she had for me radiating from her words and gaze. “Digging up where I work and sending those ridiculous flowers wasn’t enough, huh? You had to show up here at my place too. Can’t you get it through your thick skull? I hate you. I want you out of my life, for good. How is that so hard for you to understand? All these years I have spent without having to look at your face have been the best of my life.”
Her words were like a dagger driven deep into my heart. A bullet fired straight into my soul. They bruised me, battered me, and, worst of all, shattered every ounce of hope I had left. But I chose to remain stoic. I won’t give up on her so easily. I won’t even give up on her at all. I needed to show her I was a changed person, that I’d find her wherever she went until she heard me out, no matter how far and hard she pushed me away.
“You can say all that to me and more, I’ll take it because I deserve it,” I said with a weak smile. “But you have to understand one thing, Lily. I’m not the same man you knew nine years ago. A lot has happened. A lot that changed me. The truth was hidden from me and if I say I feel no ounce of regret for how I treated you and made you feel then I’m the biggest fool in the world.”
“I don’t care Robert!” She blurted out in an outburst, tears already streaming down her cheeks. She tried to hide her downpour as she furiously wiped her face with the back of her hand but I could see them, and they weren’t seeming to stop anytime soon.
With her occasional sharp intake of breath and that ferocious yet vulnerable look she had on her face, it was as if she was battling within herself. Battling with her emotions, struggling to accept reality.
If only she could just let me come close and wipe her tears. Soothe her and hold her close then she won’t need to fight anymore because I’ll do all the fighting for her.
As though she was a creature I was seeing for the first time, strange yet intriguing, I tried to approach without startling her. But she retracted and suddenly put on a defensive look.
“You’re already close enough. Don’t come any close or else I’ll scream my fucking lungs out and have the neighbours burn you to crisp fucking ashes!” she threatened dangerously with a menacing glare and I stopped in my tracks, staying glued to the spot.
“How did you even gain access to enter the estate?” She couldn’t help asking. “Because I’ll never authorize visits from scumbags like you.”
I didn’t say anything. I just stayed quiet on the spot, my pleading gaze never leaving hers even for a second. I can take all the insults. All I just wanted to do was to reach out and melt her icy heart.
Everything that had happened during the years she was away was far too much to explain in a short amount of time. I needed her to calm down and give me a listening ear before I could tell her everything. But from the looks of it, that won’t be happening anytime soon.
“Whether you’re a changed man or not, I don’t give a flying fuck because it’s too late. The damage has already been done and no amount of apologies or remorse can undo it. That day you turned your back on me at the prison, I did tell you, you’ll regret what you’ve done, and by the time you realize your mistake it will be too late,” she sniffled a thick sob as she said that but kept a hard demeanour. “It’s too late Robert. You’ve lost me forever, so go away and never come back.”
A sharp pain pierced my chest, twisting at it and spreading like fire to my stomach. Is this what rejection truly feels like? All my life, everything I wanted had been handed to me on a silver platter. I never imagined the pain of rejection could cut this deep.
I didn’t know when I fell on my knees, feeling so miserable that tears threatened to fall. “I’d rather kneel here all day long than leave you again. Don’t you understand Lily, I’m not letting you out of my sight again. Do whatever you want, say whatever you want but I’m not letting you go. Ever. All I ask is that you hear me out. After learning the truth and you still don’t want anything to do with me, I give you my word, I will stay away for good.”
“No…” she shook her head in agony as if to get rid of a bad thought and began shouting at me. “I don’t want to learn about any truth. Just go away!…. Get out!!…. Leave my house!!!….”
Just then the door opened and a little girl of about eight years came running to her, shouting “Mummy! Mummy!”