The moment the door slammed shut behind Adonis, Cara was up on her feet pacing about worriedly. She had been trying to act cool like nothing was out of the ordinary, but she knew it was impossible.
This was just the beginning.
What the hell was Cecelia thinking?
Adonis, the ever-nonchalant one, kicked off his pants and proceeded to prepare for bed.
“Have you sent Luca home?” She asked, and he shrugged.
“I don’t know. I gave him a choice to leave or stay.”
“You gave him a choice?” She gazed at him. “You should’ve kicked him out. We both know putting matters in his hands would make it worse.”
“Relax,” Adonis assured her, walking into the bathroom, “I have his promise not to kill him.” The sound of the shower dimmed his voice.
Cara stopped pacing, her face becoming sullen.
“Was that an option? It isn’t up for debate.” She tilted her head in deep thought, deciding to take matters into her own hands. “I’m going to go down and tell him to leave myself.”
“Forget it, Bel.” Her husband called back, “Luca would control himself.”
“That’s the thing. He shouldn’t be implored to. It’s his fault. He left her, remember?”
“For a good cause.”
“One that she doesn’t know.” Cara highlighted, “It’s not valid, Adonis.”
Adonis turned the shower off, walking out with just a towel wrapped around his waist.
“Still, do not interfere. I won’t either. If they want to work it out, they’d have to do it themselves.”
She blinked at him, “I am not surprised that you choose to let them keep living in tension.” Her expression turned grim. “You’re never bothered about anything. You did the same a while ago.” Cara muttered, causing him to frown.
Wasn’t this about Luca and Cecelia?
The conversation was beginning to drift away from the main topic into one he wasn’t ready to talk about. Now he had no choice. With the towel still around his waist, he sat in the bed.
“Speak.”
She waved him off, “You don’t want to hear what I have to say.”
“I’ll take it. Go on.”
His actions pissed her off even more. She knew her husband was a laid-back man who rarely showed his emotions, but in times like this, how was she to know he cared? That she wasn’t the only one who felt uncomfortable about the way things were?
It felt like she was the one pining after his love.
“I’d like you to be more open to me.” She started, “I want to know how you think… not always guessing.”
“You know me, Bel. I do not wear my heart on my sleeves. I’ve always been this way.”
“Then try for me.” She retorted, “I want to know what you’re thinking, what you’re planning. I want to feel like we’re in this together. Why do you discuss our business with Luca and my father before talking to me?”
His head jerked up. “You heard us? I thought you were in the room.”
“I came down for water. And yes, I heard you.” She scoffed, trying to hide the tremble in her voice. “It’s not about talking to other people. It’s about you not talking to ‘me’. I’m your wife, Adonis. I deserve to know what’s going on.”
“You want me to sit you down and tell you everything I want to do every time?” He questioned, his face scrunched up.
“No.”
“Then what?”
“Assurance!” Cara shouted, unable to hold back any longer. “I always feel like a foolish trophy wife waiting for her husband to finish work and return home-hell, you had a plan at the ring, but you didn’t say a word to me.”
“Is this what this is all about? Because I didn’t tell you I was going to accept the challenge?”
“You never hear me out!”
“That’s what you mean…”
“I want growth! I want you to try to change. Talk to me.”
“I can’t change Cara. This is who I have to be. ”
By then they were both shouting at each other.
“We need to compromise. It’s what marriage is all about. Growing up, I never saw myself living this kind of life, yet I’m in it, and guess what? I’m staying and facing it with everything I’ve got. Do you know why? It’s the only way I can be with you.”
Cara ran a hand through her unruly hair, panting heavily at her rant.
“Do you think I enjoyed watching such a disgusting fight?”
His nostrils flared. “I asked you not to come along.”
Slowly, cautiously, he lifted his head to meet Cara’s gaze. It was one of the few times the pure rage in his dark eyes was directed at her. He had his hands in fists, veins protruding from the sides of his neck.
“I…” Adonis breathed deeply. “I told you to stay back. Don’t pin that on me.”
“How could I? Ever since you woke up, I’ve been leaving in fear that you’ll leave one day and never return. Like you always do.” Cara’s eyes became moist. “You’d disappear without a word.”
He suddenly stood up,
“You want me to talk? Fine! You’re so infuriating.” He squinted, “Do you find joy in disobeying me? I want to protect you. I want to be there for you. Let me!”
“It’s better if we do it together. As a team.” She stood her ground.
“I don’t want to be in two minds, worrying about you and how to handle the dire situation I find myself in. It isn’t about the danger alone… I don’t want you to be tainted by my world.”
“Then you don’t know what love is,” Cara whispered. “We’re in it together. I’m not going to let you face it alone… Don’t just jump in front of a gun like your life is worthless because it isn’t!” She screamed.
“That’s why you’re angry? Because I took the bullet for you?” Adonis stalked towards her.
“You didn’t consider it for a second.” Cara sobbed. “If you hadn’t woken up, I would’ve blamed myself forever.”
Adonis’s face hardened.
“I would never hesitate… I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”
“Adonis…
“No.” He shut her down. “Stop it! Just stop it! You want me to just…” His eyes narrowed further as he trailed off, unable to say the words out loud. “No. I would never do that. I would never stand by when the woman I love is in trouble. I’m sorry. I can’t do that.”
Cara exhaled loudly; she was lost.
When she heard his words to her father and Luca, she thought he understood her point. It wasn’t really about his absence. She wanted him to know that he didn’t need to jump into anything on his own; she was right there. Ready to support. In any way she could.
She knew she was lacking as a wife to a mafia boss, yet she didn’t want to feel useless. That’s why she kept trying her best to be useful to him.
The feeling had been brewing in her chest long before Natasha and Antonio’s intrusion. She basically knew nothing about his work apart from the vague explanations he gave. Whenever he had a mission, he’d disappear saying that alone.
What was she to do? Keep laughing and having hearty meals without knowing if her husband would return home alive? Or the amount of days he’d be spending away?
This discussion wasn’t moving forward. Nothing she could say would get through to Adonis.
Resigning to her fate, she moved towards the bed taking control of the only thing she could at the moment.
Her will to sleep.
Adonis watched her, his jaw tight. He had a lot to say, but as usual, words failed him. “You wanted to hear me speak, and this is your reaction?”
“What do you want from me?!” She let go of the covers she’d barely pushed back. Heavy tears streamed down Cara’s face as she turned to address him.
“I’ve tried talking sense into you, but you’ve refused to listen. Do you want me to cut myself open just to prove my love and devotion to you? I can’t do that. I’m not to be used as a decoration Adonis. I abandoned a life to be here, and you need to remember that.”
“I tell you things!”
“No, you don’t! You found out about the journal months ago, and I just heard about it a week ago. I’m supposed to be your partner.”
“I didn’t seem… important at that time.” He replied sharply,
“No. It’s more than that!” She cried. “You don’t trust me. And if that’s the case, I don’t need to be here.”