Nikolai
“You okay, boss?”
I give Tony an irritated look. “Don’t make me shoot you.”
He snorts with laughter as we sit in the SUV. I’m waiting for a delivery.
It’s been a problematic one, out on the edges of no man’s land in Queenstown. Price hikes, squabbling, the usual shit. Normally, I don’t bother myself with this but today…yeah.
Maybe I should have told her the truth about seeing her as a child and witnessing Finnegan’s abuse, but what good would that have done? I was fucking young, and it wouldn’t make a difference. For years I’ve blamed her, I’ve blamed fucking Steph for betraying us after… It doesn’t matter.
“You sure this is a good idea?” Tony asks cautiously.
“Being here? My other plans today? The Finnegan plan? You have to be more fucking specific,” I reply.
He huffs like a kid. “Her.”
“Leave it alone.”
The delivery unfolds in front of us, out in the open, and the two people overseeing it are jumpy.
“Remind me why we’re here again, boss?”
“I told you, Tony.” I gesture ahead. “Problematic.”
“Nah. They’re fucking scared because you’re here, and this, today, isn’t a problem. So, why are we here?”
We’re here because I can’t be in the house. Rose needs time. The hurt in her face over everything is still burned into me, and I want that gone.
“Field trip,” I say. “It’s good to fucking get out.”
“I get you’re trying to make it look like you’re jumpy, but that girl-”
“One and only fucking warning, Tony.” Then I look at him. “Let’s roll.”
The man in front of me whimpers. I look down at the piece of shit, my face utterly blank, even as cold rage flares within. We’re on stop five today. The shipment went fine. No trouble.
But this….
“Jack the Sword? Do you think you’re a fucking pirate?” I pull my fist back and slam it into his face. “You run a sad little titty bar on my land, and you’re not paying your fee to run all kinds of illegal shit here.”
“Please!” He holds his hands up, blood bubbling from his nose where
I’ve broken it. “I don’t have the money. Times are tough.”
Same old bullshit. If he had a family…The man likes money, likes to treat the girls without respect, taking too much of their wages. He doesn’t protect them. He loves to gamble, drink, and fuck. He loves coke. I have no issue with any of that, except the girls-they make him money. You treat moneymakers with respect because otherwise, they might bring my attention to the problem, like now. He owes me money, lots of it too.
I’m not one of his bitches. I’m the man who scares his nightmares back into their holes, and he’s too fucking stupid to see it, until now.
“Tony,” I say, not lifting my gaze from Jack. “Toolbox.”
He comes over with an actual toolbox and opens it for me. Jack whines and pisses himself more. I select a hammer.
“Maybe take a photo, before and after? Get his…manly state.” I gesture with the hammer at his crotch and the fucking guy squeals like I’m going to bring it down on his little, dribbling prick.
Tony pulls out phone and snaps a picture.
“I’m not in the best fucking mood today, Jack.” I gently bring the steel end of the hammer down into my palm a few times. “You keep giving excuses for why you can feed your coke dealer cash, but not me. So, this is what we’re going to do. I’m upping the fee, and if you don’t pay, you stop breathing. For now…” I twist the hammer’s handle in my hand. “I’m going to give you a taste of what’s in store if you don’t pay on time, every time.
Got it?” I glance at Tony.
“No, please!” Jack cries.
Tony takes his arm, holding it out, and I swing the hammer, breaking his bones.
I feel absolutely nothing inside. Nothing. At all.
After the eleventh stop, I lean back against the leather of the seat and close my eyes, absently rubbing a hand over my knuckles. What I want is it to fucking hurt. I need to bleed.
Maybe then, whatever this shit inside me is will fade away in oblivion, where it belongs.
Every time I close my eyes, I can taste Rose, feel her, see the anger and hurt and self-loathing in her face. I don’t even know why I care. I really should have killed her and sent her in little pieces to her father, like he did with my aunt. Yeah, I should have fucking done that before she got inside me and made it impossible to kill her.
“If I kill her,” I say, like Tony and I have been chatting about tea parties, “this might just get solved.”
“I’ve known you a very long time, Nikolai. You’re not killing her.”
“I want to.”
“No, you don’t.”
“Fuck you, Tony.”
“Mia would have something to say about that.”
I snort a laugh, then slide my gaze out the car window.
“This morning, I was going into the kitchen, and I heard you say some things,” he starts.
I clench my hand. “Eavesdropping?”
“No.” He falls silent again, the leather of the seat almost squeaking as he moves. “I left. You didn’t tell her, did you? I heard her ask.”
“No, I didn’t fucking tell her. I haven’t even thought of that in years, not since it happened. There were bigger issues, like Steph causing problems, Finnegan’s taking my aunt and then killing my uncle.”
“Just checking, boss.” His phone buzzes, and he glances at it and nods.
“And this whole new addition to your plan?”
“It’s going to work,” I assure him. “We make sure information is planted, and then…” Then I use her.
My Rose.
We head to where the trouble is, where we were heading anyway, but the message Tony got switched up a few of today’s events. I need to meet with these suppliers, and there’s an issue. This is different from this morning.
This is sensitive stuff, where I need to step in.
I’m fucking furious.
The drive here, the conversation, my unwanted emotions, they’ve made me dangerously furious, something I can’t afford here. So, I lock it all down.
I’m the big man, as they say, and I rule without compunction. I’m ruthless but fair. I don’t double cross, and I expect the same. If you’re loyal to me, you get rewarded. You go against me? Your death warrant has been signed and expedited. This situation is different because as much as I love nothing more than to let go and unleash hell, I can’t ruin the relationship I’ve built here.
I blame Rose. If she hadn’t sunken her claws in me, I wouldn’t care which way this went. She’s such a contradiction, hard like diamonds and softer than a summer cloud. She’s like glass and steel. She’s got bratty sub vibes and sweet innocence. She could rule the fucking world and get swallowed by it. My Rose is a conundrum I don’t know what the fuck to do with.
No. She’s a means to an end. That’s it. End of story. I need to remember that. I don’t catch feelings. Ever. This is no different.
“I can go in,” he says, yanking me from my thoughts.
I shoot Tony a look, my hand on the door to the warehouse. “I think I can handle it.”
The moment we step inside, I see what Tony didn’t tell me, how this is going to test my patience.
Annoyance spiking, I glare at him. He shrugs. “I tried to warn you.”
“Harder and with more words next time.”
Rush is here, exactly where I don’t need him, and Tony knew that. I’m thinking this is more than that, though, because my cousin doesn’t look happy.
I rub a hand over my jaw, taking in the scene. The supplier’s on the floor of his office, a bag over his head, and Rush is wearing knuckle dusters. I almost sigh. This is another mess I have to clean up. I cross to the man on the floor, pull off the bag, and crouch in front of him.
It’s a supplier, not the boss. Fuck.
The man locks eyes with me and starts to shake. I slap him almost gently, which makes him quake even more. “And you are?”
“D-Dean.”
“Compose yourself, Dean. You’re not giving your outfit a good name here.” I slap him again. “Now, why are we trussed up like turkey?”
“I…I…took some money and your man found out. I needed it. I was gonna pay it back tomorrow.”
It’s not the truth. I can see that. Rush lets out a wild growl and comes at the guy.
I don’t move from my position. “I like these shoes. Let’s not bloody them up.”
My cousin raises his fist again, but I hold up a hand. Slowly, he lets the fist float down to his side.
“What’s the deal here?”
“I told you-”
“Not talking to you, Dean.” I stand and look at my cousin. I’m trying to rile some excitement, but it’s just one more mess to deal with.
Rush’s shoulders rise and fall. “He’s a low-ranking worker. I got here early and found him.” He nods to a backpack. “Full of the drugs. He had this.”