“Look, I know this whole situation is a fucking trainwreck that no one saw coming,” she began, her voice steady despite the tremor in her hands. “It’s not like you and Ryan knew each other, Lucas. Hell, I knew Ryan’s dad wasn’t in the picture, but I didn’t know more than that.”
She glanced up, meeting Lucas’ piercing blue eyes. “And yeah, now that I’ve seen you two side by side, there’s a resemblance. But your hair, your eyes – they’re different enough that I never would’ve made the connection on my own.”
Lucas nodded, his jaw clenched. “I get it, Em. It’s a fucked-up coincidence.”
Emily sighed, running a hand through her chestnut hair. “The thing is, this whole mess has dragged up all that bullshit with Ryan again. It’s like I can’t escape it, you know?” Her voice cracked slightly. “I keep seeing him with that fucking secretary, bent over his desk…”
She trailed off, the image seared into her mind. Sophia reached out, squeezing her arm. “Hey, it’s okay. That asshole doesn’t deserve another second of your thoughts.”
Emily laughed bitterly. “Yeah, easier said than done when his dad is sitting across from me.”
Lucas winced, guilt flashing across his face. “Emily, I-”
“I’m sorry,” Emily interrupted, shaking her head. “That wasn’t fair. This isn’t your fault, Luke. It’s just… fuck, it’s a lot to process, you know?”
Sophia leaned forward, her eyes filled with concern. “Em, what are you really thinking about Ryan right now? I mean, specifically.” She chose her words carefully, like she was tiptoeing through a minefield.
Emily snorted, a humourless sound that echoed in the quiet kitchen. “Christ, Soph, you don’t need to walk on eggshells. If you’re worried I want that cheating bastard back, you can relax.” She took a long swig of coffee, grimacing at the bitter taste. “I’d rather deep-throat a cactus than give Ryan another chance.”
Lucas choked on his coffee, barely suppressing a laugh. Emily shot him a wry smile before continuing.
“It’s not about wanting him back. It’s the fucking audacity, you know?” Her green eyes flashed with anger. “He had the nerve to fuck his secretary on his desk, in his goddamn office, and then act like I was the unreasonable one for being upset.”
She clenched her fists, her knuckles turning white. “And now? Now I feel like I can’t trust anyone, not completely. Every time someone’s nice to me, every time I start to let my guard down, there’s this voice in the back of my head asking what their angle is. What they really want from me.”
Emily’s throat tightened, tears threatening to spill over. “He didn’t just cheat on me. He broke something inside me, and I don’t know how to fix it.”
Sophia squeezed Emily’s hand, her touch warm and reassuring. Lucas mirrored the gesture on Emily’s other side, his calloused fingers intertwining with hers. The simple acts of comfort made Emily’s heart ache with a bittersweet mixture of gratitude and lingering pain.
Lucas cleared his throat, his voice low and hesitant. “Em, I need to ask you something.” He paused, seeming to weigh his words carefully. “What do you think about me trying to have a relationship with Ryan?”
The question hit Emily like a sucker punch to the gut. She knew it was a conversation they needed to have, but it wasn’t one she was looking forward to. She stared at Lucas’ hand in hers, her mind racing. The ticking of the kitchen clock seemed deafening in the silence that stretched between them.
‘Fuck,’ she thought. ‘How do I even begin to answer that?’
Emily’s eyes traced the lines on Lucas’ palm, buying time as she struggled to articulate the storm of emotions swirling inside her. When she finally spoke, her voice was barely above a whisper.
“I get it, Lucas. I do.” She swallowed hard. “He’s your son. You never got the chance to be there when he was growing up. It makes sense that you’d want to try to make something of it now you know who he is.”
She lifted her gaze to meet Lucas’ eyes, her own brimming with unshed tears. “But I hope you can understand why I can’t be a part of that. Why I don’t want anything to do with him.”
Emily’s voice cracked as she continued, “I’ll be civil if I absolutely have to be, and I’ll support you however I can. But being honest, Lucas, the thought of having to see him, to interact with him… it makes me feel like I’m going to puke or have a panic attack. Or both.”
Lucas squeezed Emily’s hand, his thumb tracing soothing circles on her skin. His blue eyes held a mix of understanding and determination as he leaned in closer.
“Baby girl, I’d never dream of making you have any kind of relationship with Ryan,” he said, his voice low and reassuring. “That’s not even on the table.”
Emily let out a shaky breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding. “Really?”
“Absolutely,” Lucas affirmed. He ran a hand through his hair, a habit he had when deep in thought. “I want to at least try to get to know him. His mother…” He paused, a flicker of old pain crossing his face. “Well, she made damn sure I never got the chance when he was younger. But this relationship between him and me? Who knows what will happen.”
Emily nodded, relief washing over her. She felt the tension in her shoulders start to ease.
Lucas continued, his voice firm, “I promise you, Emily Carter. I won’t bring you into this clusterfuck unless it’s completely unavoidable. And trust me, I can’t even imagine what kind of fucked up scenario would make that necessary.”
A small, wry smile tugged at Emily’s lips. “Knowing our luck, some kind of zombie apocalypse where Ryan’s the only one with the cure.”
Sophia laughed so hard she spat her coffee out. Lucas snorted, the corner of his mouth turning up. “In that case, I’d say fuck it and we’d go find our own island to ride it out on.”
Emily laughed, the sound a bit watery but genuine. She squeezed Lucas’ hand back, grateful for his understanding and the way he could make her smile even in the midst of this emotional shitstorm.
Emily’s laughter faded, and she bit her lip, her green eyes clouding with worry. “So what happens from here?” She asked, her voice barely above a whisper. “What happens if Ryan tells you he doesn’t want anything to do with you because you’re with me?”
Lucas’ jaw clenched, his blue eyes hardening. “I try to talk it out, but if that fails… then that’s his emotional problem,” he growled, his grip on Emily’s hand tightening. “I’m not about to ditch the best thing that’s happened to me in years.”
Emily’s heart skipped a beat, a warmth spreading through her chest. But doubt still niggled at the back of her mind. “Are you sure? I mean, he’s your son. I don’t want to be the reason you lose the chance to reclaim those lost years.”
Lucas leaned in, his gaze intense. “Listen to me, baby girl. You’re not just some fling. You’re the woman I love. If Ryan can’t accept that…”
Sophia chimed in, “Damn straight. Bros before… sons?” She winced. “That sounded better in my head.”
Emily couldn’t help but snort, some of the tension dissipating. She looked at Lucas, seeing the determination in his eyes, and felt a surge of love and gratitude. “Okay,” she said softly. “I trust you. I love you.”
Lucas pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I love you too, baby girl.”
Emily took a deep breath, her fingers tracing the rim of her coffee mug. “There’s probably more we need to talk about on this topic, but…” She trailed off, her throat tightening. The weight of the conversation, the implications for their future, it was all too fucking much right now. “I’d rather leave it there for now.”
Lucas nodded, his eyes soft with understanding. “Whatever you need, baby girl.” He reached out, his calloused hand cupping her cheek. “If you’re here with me, that’s enough.”
Emily leaned into his touch, closing her eyes for a moment. The warmth of his hand grounded her, pushing back the swirling thoughts of Ryan, of betrayal, of uncertainty. When she opened her eyes again, she saw nothing but love and determination in Lucas’ gaze.
“Fuck,” she muttered, a wry smile tugging at her lips. “How’d I get so lucky?”
Lucas chuckled, low and deep. “I ask myself the same thing every damn day.”
Sophia made a gagging noise. “Okay, lovebirds. As touching as this is, I’m still nursing a hangover here. Can we dial down the mushy stuff?”
Emily laughed, the tension in her shoulders easing. “Sorry, Soph. How about some greasy food to soak up that tequila?”
As Lucas stood to raid the freezer, Emily caught his hand, giving it a squeeze. They’d figure this shit out, she thought. Together.