ZARA’S POINT OF VIEW
“These past few days has been hell for me, I want to be in your life forever Zara, I can’t… cannot function without you by my side.” Delvin said, his eyes were focused on me, his eyes… they held untold emotions, they held a passion.
I swallowed, I have to stay strong, I have to follow my plan, I have to not feel, I have to choose myself, I have to stay alive.
We are at a completely empty lounge, there are gaming screens and equipments on some corners of the lounge, some the lights at the corners blinked slowly. I stare one of the screen, it is completely blank but I still stare at it.
I don’t want to look at him, I don’t want all the feelings I have for him to come up to the surface, I want him but I also want to stay alive, tonight is the last time I will ever see him.
I don’t want to look at him because looking at him will make it harder for me to leave him in the past, looking at him will make it more difficult for me to prioritize my life over our love.
Loving him is too dangerous, I have to leave him in order to stay alive. This is the last time I will ever see him and can’t even look at him.
“You are engaged Delvin, I shouldn’t have come here in the first place.” I said, my heart is beating so fast, I can hear each thud in my ears.
I shouldn’t be anywhere near him, being this close to him makes it harder for me to go.
I am ready to leave, I shouldn’t be here, I should not be anywhere near Delvin, I should just focus on myself, focus on staying alive.
“My father is out of the country, he will return tomorrow, we only have this night to ourselves, let us make it memorable. Please mi Amor.” Delvin said, his hand grazed by cheek subtly. His eyes pleaded with me.
“I love you, I want you, i need you Zara.” He said. We are both facing each other now, his lip is just a few tiny inches away from mine, his eyes are staring mine with so much passion. My insides feel like jelly, my legs feel weak, my hands ache to touch him. As if we are not standing close enough, as if I am not struggling so much as it is he moved closer.
“I love you Zara.” He said again. His hands moved some strands of my hair away from my face, my body shivered with awareness at the slight touch of his fingertips on my skin.
“I…I love you too, oh God knows I love you so much Delvin but we can’t be together. I’m sorry I have to go. It’s not just meant to be, everything is against us, everything single thing stands in our way, you are going to be married soon, I want you to be happy, I hope she makes you happy. I cannot be with you Delvin, I’m sorry.” I replied with tears in my eyes.
I headed for the door before he could say anything else, I did not give him the chance to say anything else because I know how close I am to breaking off my restrains and just falling into his arms. I know how close I am to ditching my well thought out plan to leave, I know how close I am to sacrificing my life for the love I feel for him.
I love him but this is for the best, this is goodbye, I have to focus on me, I have to take this opportunity.
I unlocked my phone, the message came in.
***Congratulations Zara Adeyemi you have successfully accepted your admission to the University of Seoul, South Korea.” I sighed, this is for the best Zara, a new beginning, a fresh start, You and Delvin were never meant to be.
This could be the beginning of something new. Korea. Away from everything, a new beginning, a fresh start.
I walked down the pavement and into the rain that was starting to drizzle, I have to get a cab back to my apartment, i have to get my luggage ready, I have to leave tomorrow.
Against my better judgment turned to look at Delvin, he is leaning against the window, staring at me with sadness in his face.
This is for the best Zara, you both were never meant to be, I said to myself and then walked away leaving my one true love behind, in my past…