VALENTINA’S POINT OF VIEW
Raphael Fernandez, Diego’s father is a monster. He raped me. It is one of those things… those memories I try to push away, one of those memories that I try to forget ever happened because I am not sure I have healed from that, I don’t think I can ever heal from that.
Remembering it will create a chain reaction of hate, regret and self loathing so I have tried for years to just imagine that it didn’t happen.
I used to wake up drenched in my own sweat, I used to have nightmares where he would chase me through the woods with a sickle, in those nightmares Raphael Fernandez was the grim reaper and I was his prey. I used to be scared of leaving the house for months, every man I saw scared me, they all reminded me of him, of what he did so I retreated to my self.
The first person I ever told about the rape was Damian, we became friends after Diego left for the ranch, we had a platonic friendship and then it grew into something more.
I needed Diego, I was vulnerable, I know I shouldn’t have but Damian was the a lot like Diego, they are twins after all.
I needed Diego, I needed someone to confide in, I was carrying so much weight and I needed someone… anyone and Damian was there, I knew I shouldn’t have, I really shouldn’t have and I regret it every single day.
I hate that I let Damian Fernandez into my life, I hate that I gave up hope, that I thought that Diego would never return, I hate that I believed Damian when he told me that Diego had died in the ranch, I hate that I let Damian console me, that I stayed wrapped up in his arms crying for the Diego that I thought had died in the ranch, I hate that I did not protest when Damian kissed me, I regret that singular night of pain and mourning, that night that ended with Damian and I wrapped up in each other’s arms, seeking relief from the pain I thought we both felt.
Damian lied to me, I betrayed Diego so when he returned from the ranch I could not face him… I avoided him for a long while until I couldn’t anymore. I should have told him everything, about Raphael and Damian and everything.
I should have come clean but I didn’t, I instead pretended like none of it happened, I thought if I pretended long enough then it would all go away but it didn’t instead it became this big pile of secret that ended in me shooting him.
I rocked myself back and forth on the floor close to the door, I feel this intense cold that I cannot explain, this longing, this emptiness.
My head hurts from crying so much, my mind is racing without a million scenarios of what might be happening to Diego right now, none of the scenario is good, I can’t stop my heart from pacing so fast, I can’t stop this feeling of anxiety.
I closed my eyes, I need to stop feeling this pain, I need to not remember how disgusted with myself I felt after Raphael’s act, I need to stop painting up horrible scenarios in my head where Diego gets hurt but I cannot stop, my brain wouldn’t let me, my brain just wouldn’t stop spinning, my brain wouldn’t stop worrying about Diego.
My Diego, where is he? I have this unsettling feeling at the pit of my stomach, I can’t shake it off.
I reported to the cops this morning but they said I have to wait for a twenty four hours to be able to file a missing person’s report, what if Diego doesn’t have twenty four hours? What if his life is hanging on some sort of beam…
I will die without him, i cannot live this life without him around me, I need him, oh my gosh why is this happening!
It’s like as if the cops are not even trying at all, it’s like nobody is doing anything and it’s frustrating! I miss him, God I miss him so much! I don’t want to live this life without him around me, if anything happens to him I would not survive.
I closed my eyes and let the tears flow freely.
Diego please come back, I need you.
ZARA’S POINT OF VIEW
“For some reason, my son does not think properly when he is around you and to change that I have to make sure you disappear.” Delvin’s father said. I looked at him confused, what does he mean by that? All of this doesn’t make sense.
“Delvin is to marry Maddison, their fate has been set in stone since they were literally in diapers. It’s a deal that will benefit my family as well as Maddison’s but for some reason you chose to butt in, I asked Delvin to break up with you quietly so that he can fulfill his destiny but he just wouldn’t. So essentially You should blame him for all the suffering you are about to endure.” Delvin’s father said ominously.
“Sir I love your son, I cannot leave him.” I said, I have been convinced for a long time about this fact.
He looked at the woman by his side, she nodded and started moving towards me, the next thing I know her palm landed painfully on my face, she then moved back to her original position like she did not just slap me.
“I will never hit a woman, that’s why I hired her to do that for me.” He said with a serious face.
The side of my face ached.
“So as I was saying, normally I would have just killed you, I mean I checked, it’s not like you have any family that will come looking for you but with the election so close I don’t want any stain on me so I am going to be a good host and offer you a deal.” He said and then paused to gage my reaction.
“It’s one of two things, either you stay away from my son Delvin or you die. Pick your poison wisely because this is the last time you would be given this choice.” He said.