CASSIUS POV
I couldn’t stay still. The house felt like a cage, the walls closing in with every breath I took. April’s words had lingered in my mind, gnawing at me like a hunger I couldn’t satisfy. You left me.
I should’ve seen it coming. I should’ve known that she would pull away. I had been so damn sure of myself, so damn certain that I could keep her at arm’s length, that I could push her to the back of my mind, control everything-everything-except my damn emotions.
I shoved the door to the training hall open, the smell of sweat and sharpened metal filling my nose. The sound of steel on steel, the harsh grunts of my warriors as they sparred-it was the only thing that made me feel grounded. I stripped off my jacket, tossing it to the side, my muscles already tensing with the need to move, to fight, to punish myself.
“Cassius,” Gabriel’s voice came from the far corner of the hall. He looked up from his position, wiping sweat from his brow. “Everything alright?”
I didn’t respond immediately. My fingers flexed, aching to wrap around the hilt of a weapon, to feel the release of striking something-anything.
“Not now, Gabriel,” I growled, my tone sharp enough to make him hesitate. The weight of his gaze lingered on me for a moment before he nodded, understanding I needed this-whatever this was.
The training hall fell silent, and I could feel the eyes of the warriors on me, waiting. I wasn’t in the mood for any half-assed sparring.
I reached for the nearest training blade. It was heavier than the usual sword, and the weight felt good in my grip. Perfect. It would make me work harder.
“Pair up!” I barked, my voice low, a growl simmering beneath it. “And don’t go easy on me.”
The warriors exchanged wary glances. Most had seen me push myself to the brink before, but this was different. This wasn’t just training-it was a blood-pumping, rage-fueled need to crush something under my control.
As the first warrior stepped forward, I barely waited before charging at him, the sound of my boots pounding against the stone floor drowning out everything else. The blade swung with precision, slicing through the air toward his shoulder. He blocked just in time, the clashing of metal ringing out like thunder.
“Faster,” I snapped, pushing him back with a flurry of strikes. Each movement, every block, every parry felt like a release, but not enough. It never was enough. I was still burning, still filled with the anger and frustration I couldn’t outrun.
The warrior before me was skilled-too skilled. He fought back with everything he had, sweat beading on his brow as he deflected my blows. But I wasn’t holding back. I wasn’t interested in a fair fight. I was interested in the release.
My next strike came down hard, forcing him to take a step back. He stumbled, just for a moment, but it was enough. My sword slashed downward, the weight of it too much for him to handle. It connected with his blade and sent it flying from his hand.
He didn’t even have time to regain his stance before I was on him again, my body moving like an extension of the weapon. The fight was no longer about skill; it was about dominance. I was punishing him, punishing myself.
I knew it was not fair, but I could not stop myself; I needed this.
I let the anger flow through my veins, drowning out the voice that told me to stop, to think, to control myself. I couldn’t hear it anymore. I didn’t want to.
“Get up!” I barked, my breath heavy, my heart pounding. “Don’t you dare think you can walk away until I say so.”
Gabriel was watching me closely now, the lines of concern etched deeply on his face. He knew me better than most, but he knew when to step in, and he knew better than to interfere when I was this far gone.
The warrior scrambled to his feet, sweat trickling down his forehead. His eyes were wide, full of disbelief. He hadn’t expected this. None of them had.
Without warning, I turned away from him, my chest heaving with frustration, my jaw clenched tight.
“Next,” I growled.
Another warrior stepped up, but this time, I didn’t wait for him to make the first move. I was already on him, faster than he could anticipate. My blade crashed against his with brutal force, sparks flying from the contact. He was a skilled fighter, but I didn’t care. I wasn’t going to let him breathe until I was satisfied.
We fought in silence; the only sounds were the clash of metal and the grunts of exertion. The weight of my anger pushed me forward relentlessly. Every strike was a question I couldn’t answer. Every swing of my blade was a demand for something-something to make this anger go away.
I drove the warrior to the ground with a brutal twist of my sword, pinning his chest to the floor. My breath came in ragged bursts, but I wasn’t done. Not yet.
“Enough, Cassius!” Gabriel’s voice rang out, sharp and commanding. He stepped forward, placing a hand on my shoulder, trying to pull me back.
I turned on him, the rage still boiling within me. “Don’t you dare try to stop me,” I growled, my eyes flashing. “I won’t stop until I’ve worked this out.”
He didn’t flinch, but I could see the concern in his eyes. “You’re killing yourself in here, Cassius,” Gabriel said, his voice softening. “This isn’t the way.”
I shook him off, my eyes narrowing as I glared down at the warrior still pinned to the floor. “You think I don’t know that?”
Gabriel stepped back, his jaw tight. He was trying to give me space, but I could feel the weight of his judgment. He didn’t understand-none of them did.
But then, as I stood there, my muscles aching and sweat dripping from my brow, a small piece of peace slid into my chest. It wasn’t much, but it was enough. At least, at least April was safe.
She was far from me, I knew, but I had seen the distance and coldness in her eyes, and I had watched her withdraw from me with my own two eyes. She’d done it for a reason, but it didn’t matter. She wasn’t dead. She wasn’t hurt. She was safe.
That, at least, was a small relief in the storm that churned inside me.
I gave one last look to the warriors around me, my gaze hardening. “Take a break,” I muttered, turning away from the training hall. “I’ll be back tomorrow.”
The weight of my thoughts was suffocating, but I was done trying to outrun them. I knew I couldn’t escape the storm inside of me. The only thing left to do was wait to see how things play out.
But the waiting? That would drive me mad.