40

Cassius POV
I couldn’t believe it. I’d searched the town more than three times in the past two weeks. Each time, I was met with the same empty feeling, the same painful silence. The second I stepped into that damn bar and heard Dave’s voice, I thought I might break. I didn’t know why I expected anything else. I should’ve known.
“She’s gone,” Dave said, not an ounce of surprise in his tone. He must have seen it on my face-the damn worry I couldn’t hide. “She left town a few days ago.”
It hit me harder than I expected. My wolf, restless for days, now felt like a caged animal, too. The empty space around me-the emptiness I had created by pushing her away-was unbearable.
I’d tried to fill the void with work, with anything. I had my warriors handle the pack business with the rogues, but nothing distracted me long enough. Nothing worked. I thought I could control my feelings and suppress the pull I felt toward her. Hell, I told myself it was the right thing to do, that I needed space, that she needed space, but that damn decision was wearing me thin.
I pushed the door open to the bar for the fourth time in two weeks. My heart pounded, each beat louder than the last. I kept my head down, trying to keep the tension from showing. The place hadn’t changed, but I had. The first night I walked in, she was there, a solid fixture in my mind. Now, it was her absence I was trying to process.
“Cassius,” Dave greeted as I walked in. He looked as tired as I felt. “She’s still not back, man.”
The words scraped against my chest like jagged rocks. A hollow ache settled in my bones. For the first time in weeks, I allowed myself to feel something other than the weight of responsibility. I was supposed to be the leader, the Alpha, and yet I couldn’t shake this feeling of helplessness.
“I noticed,” I muttered, barely holding it together. I turned to leave, but something held me back. I couldn’t let it go like this. I needed to fix it. Needed to see her. But the truth settled over me like a thick fog-I’d been an idiot.
What if she was gone forever?
No, I could not let myself think like that.
I gave it three days. Three days of sitting in my damn office, waiting, pretending like I didn’t care that she was gone. But I couldn’t fool myself anymore. I needed her to come back.
I made my mind up. I sent a few warriors to keep an eye on things. I hated myself for it, but I couldn’t stand the idea of not knowing what was going on. Was she safe? Was she alright? Had she gone for good?
The warriors had strict instructions: when April came back to town, I would know. I didn’t care if it was overkill; I wasn’t leaving anything to chance.
The last day had been nothing but business and the constant thrum of the rogues in the background. I knew I had to handle the pack’s territory issues, but it felt so distant. Every step I took felt wrong. I couldn’t focus on anything. All I could think about was her.
By the time I had finished dealing with the pack issues, my warriors informed me April had returned. I didn’t waste a second.
I arrived at the bar in the late evening, and the familiar sight of the place felt like a cruel reminder of what I had lost. The bell over the door jingled as I entered, the warmth of the place doing little to calm the storm brewing inside me. She was behind the counter, moving through the motions of her work. She had her back to me, but I could see the tension in her shoulders, the sharp lines of her form as she worked with precision.
I wanted to believe that her leaving had nothing to do with me, that it wasn’t my fault. But I couldn’t shake the guilt that gnawed at my insides.
“April,” I said, my voice tight, trying to get her attention.
She turned, her expression unreadable. I could see the flicker of something behind her eyes, but she kept her face neutral.
“Cassius,” she called my name, and it sounded like it was dipped in honey. I could get used to the way she said my name.
“You left without saying goodbye,” I said, not caring if it made me sound pathetic.
She didn’t respond immediately. Her gaze flicked to the side, and for a moment, I thought she might turn and walk away again, but she didn’t.
“So, it is okay when you do it, but a problem when I do it?” she asked coldly, and I slightly wince at her tone but remain silent.
She was right; what right did I have to ask her when I was constantly leaving?
“Plus, I didn’t think you’d notice,” she said, her voice colder than I expected.
Her words stung more than I cared to admit. It was like a punch to the gut, the rawness of it catching me off guard. But I stood my ground.
“I noticed,” I said, voice low but firm. “I sent people to keep an eye on you. I wanted to make sure you were safe.”
I wanted to say more, to explain myself, but the words felt heavy in my mouth. The look in her eyes-it was colder than I remembered. More detached. I knew I had pushed her too far.
Fuck! This was all my fault. Her coldness and detachment were all on me.
She didn’t say anything for a long moment, the silence pressing down on us.
“I’m fine,” she replied, voice cool. “You don’t need to worry about me.”
Her tone was cutting, and I knew it was because I had been the one who made her feel like she had to fend for herself. Like I didn’t care.
“Fine,” I muttered, my voice thick with frustration. “But you don’t just leave, April.” I stepped closer, wanting her to understand. “You disappear without a word. What am I supposed to think?”
She took a deep breath, her eyes narrowing just slightly. “I don’t owe you an explanation,” she said, her voice sharp now.
I was taken aback, but I didn’t show it. I was used to commanding respect and controlling situations, but right now, I felt completely out of control.
“You don’t owe me anything,” I said, my voice softening just a touch. “But I don’t like it when people walk out of my life without saying why.”
She crossed her arms, leaning back against the counter. “Maybe that’s your problem, Cassius. You think you can fix everything. Control everything.”
Her words hit harder than anything I had expected. But she wasn’t wrong. I’d tried to fix things. I wanted to make it all better, to somehow pull her back in, but I’d been a fool.
She let the silence drag between us, and it was like I couldn’t breathe. Every word that had been left unsaid between us hovered in the air, suffocating me. But I couldn’t let her see that. Not yet. Not until I could fix myself.
“You don’t just disappear and expect everything to be fine,” I said quietly, my voice barely a whisper. “I’m trying to fix what I broke, but you are making it so damn hard.”
Her eyes flickered, but I couldn’t tell if it was anger, confusion, or something else entirely. I wasn’t even sure what I was hoping for. But I couldn’t let her slip away again, not without trying.
“You left me, Cassius,” she said, her voice quieter now, though still cold. “You disappeared without a word. Maybe you’re the one who should explain.”
I wanted to tell her everything, to say how sorry I was and how much I cared. But the words wouldn’t come, and I wasn’t sure if I’d ever have the courage to say them.
So, I did what I usually did best.
I turned away and then began walking away, the weight of her gaze on my back, the tension between us too much to bear.
I knew one thing for sure: I was far from done trying to fix this. But how? How could I undo the damage I had done?
I guess only time will tell.