CLAUDE
A few minutes passed after we finished eating, and I also bid farewell.
“I’m leaving now. It’s going to be late on the road,” I said to Sia.
“Where are you going, Dad?” Adrian’s curious eyes blinked.
“I’m going back to my place, son. Be good, okay? Don’t tire yourself too much. And don’t forget to take your medicine.” I hugged my son and kissed him on the forehead.
“Why are you leaving? Don’t you like me anymore? Don’t you like Mom? Are you leaving us again?” Adrian asked directly.
I felt my heart squeeze at his question. I didn’t want to hurt him, especially since he was still recovering from the operation. I bent down and faced him.
“I’m not leaving because I don’t like you or your mom. I love you both very much. I’m leaving because I have work tomorrow. But I’ll come back and visit you here. So just wait for me.”
Adrian just nodded. I hugged him again. The child hugged me back and didn’t want to let go, so I just carried him and approached Pia.
“I’m leaving now. I’ll visit another day,” I said to the old lady.
“Are you taking my grandchild back to the mansion?” Pia’s eyes widened with curiosity.
“Oh, no. They’ll stay here with you. I just don’t want to be apart from my son anymore..”
Pia stood up and took Adrian from me. Adrian didn’t want to go at first. But when Sia persuaded him, he let go of me and followed her.
“I’ll just escort myself outside,” I said.
Before Pia could respond, Sia pulled my hand.
“Come on. Adrian might cry later, and you won’t be able to leave,” Sia said, pulling my hand.
We were already outside the house, but I noticed that Sia was still holding my hand as if she didn’t want to let go.
“Hey! Are you planning to detain me at your house too?” I asked jokingly.
“Huh? No, uh! I’m just going to walk you to your car. Don’t you want that?”
“No problem. But if you don’t want to let go like that, how could I say no? You know I just want to be close to you and to my son always.”
Sia’s eyes widened. She looked at her hand that was holding mine. She quickly let go.
“S-sorry. I forgot.”
I smiled, reaching for the key fob in my pocket and pointing it towards the car. But before I got in, I took Sia’s hand. Gently, I lifted it and kissed it.
“Goodbye for now. But I will be back. Wait for me,” I said, looking straight into her eyes.
Sia blinked several times, quickly releasing her hand. Then she turned away. If I stayed in front of her any longer, I might not be able to control myself. I might kiss her and hug her.
Once inside the car, I lowered the window.
“Drive safely,” Sia reminded me as she looked back at me.
“I will,” I replied, waving to her.
A smile remained on my lips even as I drove away from the house where my wife and my son lived. I felt lighter leaving now, unlike in the past few days when Sia didn’t respond much to me.
Had I not closed my heart for her before, I could have had numbers of moment like this already. I had never felt like this before, I just knew I needed this feeling to last until my very last breath.
Whenever I left the mansion before, I know it was a relief for Sia, because her suffering would somehow get paused. Even few days back, whenever I would leave from their rented apartment after the surgery, she just seemed nonchalant about it. It was different now, the fact that she escorted me outside and even allowed me to kiss her hand, I knew I was slowly winning her back.. It seemed like she wasn’t angry with me anymore. Hopefully, her good treatment towards me would continue so I wouldn’t have a hard time in the coming days.
At first, I thought it would be difficult to win over both my wife and my son. But I quickly connected with my son. The bond between us was strong. It was proof that we were indeed father and son. I didn’t need a DNA test to prove that Adrian was my son. Even if he didn’t resemble me, I felt that Adrian came from me. He was like a missing part of my identity.
That’s why I was grateful to God for allowing me to be with my wife again, and having Adrian was a huge bonus. I never imagined that Sia was pregnant before she left. If I had known about her pregnancy, maybe I wouldn’t have separated from her. Even though I was angry with my wife back then, I couldn’t bear to neglect our child. I couldn’t turn my back on my responsibility.
I wondered why Sia kept her pregnancy a secret. Did she think that because I never treated her right, I would treat my son the same way?
All I understood now was how terrible of a person I was for causing all those misseries to her. She just saved herself from me and I knew that she thought that keeping my son away was as much as saving him from me.
I regretted the many wasted years. I couldn’t imagine how Sia managed all the difficulties from her pregnancy to raising Adrian. I owed a lot to my wife and son. That’s why I would make it up to them now. I would do everything to make amends.
I knew that saying I loved them wasn’t enough. I needed to prove it to my wife and son. My son’s surgery was just the beginning. I had to do more for them.
I also needed to figure out how to ease Sia’s resentment towards me. It was good that she allowed me to kiss her hand earlier. It lightened my heart. Her heart seemed to be slowly softening. Maybe next time, it wouldn’t just be her hand that I would get to kiss. Maybe she would allow me to kiss her lips and hug her. It might take a little more effort and sacrifice on my part before that happens. But I was willing to wait, even if it took a long time. I would endure everything for my wife and for my son.
My friends were right. I needed to seriously consider if I really wanted to divorce Sia. It was a good thing I didn’t rush into it. I didn’t proceed with our separation. If I had filed for annulment, which was the only option given our situation, it might have been even harder for me to rebuild my family now.
At least in our current situation, Sia was still legally my wife. Despite living apart, we were still married, whichever side we look at it from. Technically, I could insist on having my family together under one roof. But I wouldn’t force Sia. I wanted her to willingly join me and agree to live together in the same house. I would wait, no matter how long it took.