Zoey p. o. v
I woke up this morning feeling the usual, the feeling of nauseous cutting short my sleep. I rush to the bathroom, throwing up all my guts. These have been going on lately, I’ve been feeling fatigue, nauseous and dizziness.
At first, I didn’t put much thought to it, but it’s been getting worse recently. I could hardly stay awake and the few times I’m awake it’s either I’m throwing up or feeling light-headed.
Marco’s mom said it was because I’ve been skipping meals, and thinking too much. She right on that, though, I haven’t been myself since Marco’s death. I don’t eat well, I sleep but not fully rested.
Nothing was the same anymore, and it causes a pang of immense pain in my chest. Drifting to sleep at night was, but actually having a good night rest was hard for me. I missed him so much.
Every time I think about him, reliving our moments in my mind it increases the pain in my heart making it difficult for me to breathe.
The thought of not being able to see him again in this lifetime is painful. A pain I couldn’t be able to bear.
Marco’s Mom maybe correct for thinking it was because I had skipped meals, and wasn’t eating healthy enough, combined with thinking. But I am aware that this isn’t because of malnutrition, that’s why I’m here in the hospital to confirm my doubt.
I am nervous, I’m having mixed feelings that I don’t know how to feel. What if the test come out positive? How do I go about it alone?
I fidget with my nails, my feet tapping gently on the floor. I couldn’t tell the nervousness is obvious all over me.
“Calm down, please. You’re making me anxious, too.” Camila placed a hand
over mine, stopping my fidgeting.
She came with me on my request, she has been a great support to me even though she still needed a shoulder to lean on.
“I can’t, I’m too nervous.” I breathe out shakily.
I took a deep encouraging breath when the door open, the doctor came in with my test results in hand.
“The result is out.” I held my breath when she reaches over and stretch it for me to take. I took the single paper, looking down at it briefly.
It’s showing 99% positive, I can’t bring myself to cry nor smile, my eyes were suddenly dried up.
“It’s positive, you’re eight weeks gone.” She simply. I already knew it would come out positive, but seeing the confirmation makes it even more of a reality.
“You’re pregnant? That’s a great news, Mom is so going to be happy.” Camila squealed.
I cringe, she does not understand my situation. Nobody does. I want my husband to be here when I carry our kids, I want his support and love to keep me throughout the pregnancy. During Adriano pregnancy, it was the best experience I’ve ever had because I had Marco by my side.
“Zoey, are you alright?” Camila questioned, resting my head on her shoulder. She stares at me concerned, “What happened? Are you not happy?
How can I be happy, this news is what Marco’s has always wanted? To have another child, a daughter. And now that is happening, he’s not here.
A single tear fell down my cheek, inviting more to come as I stood up and left the doctor’s office.
“Donna.” Matthew voice came beside me immediately I came out from the office, he also came along. He has been my personal bodyguard, following me around and tending to my basic needs.
“What’s wrong.” He asked Camila when I didn’t reply.
They have gotten quite close now, but were hiding their affection from me, thinking I wouldn’t want to
“I want to be alone. I’ll meet you at home.” I said to both of them and walk away.
I came out the hospital into the cool evening breeze, causing a chill to run down my spine. I braced myself and rubbing my palms over my arms trying to get rid of the shivers, I’m suddenly feeling cold, but it’s nothing I can’t handle.
I needed to be alone.
To absorb my current situation, I have to think through everything and to be able to do that I have to alone and not under any pressure.