Chapter 35
Claire’s POV
After that night’s incident, I never heard from Damian. Days ran into weeks but he neither called nor texted. He did not return any of my calls. He did not pay me a visit either. I was scared that I have ruined the little friendship we had. I spoke with Ethan and Scott a few times and they said Damian was busy with some kind of ‘work’.
I began to make plans of paying him a friendly visit. The days that followed were stressful for me because I had gotten a temporary job at clothing company, where I worked as a fashion designer. It was temporary because I planned to open my own firm soon enough.
The only free day I had was Sundays which I used fo rest and sleep. Most times it was difficult for me to go out. But this week, I made a firm resolve to go and see Damian.
I ran a bath swiftly, went to the wardrobe, rooting through it until I found what I was looking for.
It was a simple floor-length gown in emerald green silk, with a heavily embroidery round the neckline. I grabbed the dressing gown and the minimum underwear the dress required. I made up my face with care, accentuating the color and shape of my green eyes with eye shadow and liner, painting a clear bright coral on my lips.
I slid the dress over my head and brushed out my hair on my shoulders, then stared at my reflection in the mirror. I looked exotic, I thought to myself with satisfaction, and distinctly provocative.
I boarded a cab to his home address, muttering a silent prayer along the way that Damian will be at home. We got to the place about twenty minutes later and the environment looked quite serene. I paid the cab driver and took in a deep breath before taking my first step into the compound.
I was ready for whatever attitude I am going to receive from Damian today. He might be happy to see me or he could treat me like filth. The only thing I can do is to try.
The door that led to his apartment was slightly open which was quite unusual, judging from the fact that Damian loves his privacy. He would not go out, leaving his door unlocked. Unless he was at home. I did not bother to knock, so I stepped gingerly into the living room.
I glanced around the room, searching for any recent changes, perhaps a new furniture but there was none. Instead, the room looked scanty as though the inhabitant was planning on moving out. Damian would obviously be in the bedroom, he might be sleeping or he could be in the bathroom, having a bath. The thought of seeing him undressed sent butterflies in my belly as I blushed.
I walked quietly to the dimly lit bedroom and the door was slightly open. I saw Damian but he had company. He was infact making out with a blonde-hair woman. Paralyzed, I watched as the lady moved forward into his arms, watched the sinuous curve of her body as she pressed against him in blatant invitation. Her arms went round his neck and she drew him down to her kiss.
I took a step backwards, then another, my fist pressed against my mouth. Then I turned and went swiftly and silently back to the living room and sank down on to one of the sofas.
From a distance, I could hear someone moaning softly, and realized with a shock that it was myself. Pain seized me, lashed me, tore at me. It was impossible to hurt so much and remain whole – remain sane.
There was nausea, hot and bitter in my throat, and I fought it. Fought the clenched fist in the pit of my stomach, and the searing, scalding tears.
With a jerk, the world steadied. The inner agony receded to a manageable distance, making me aware that it was not physical in origin, letting me see it for what it shamefully was – jealousy.
I looked blankly across the room.
“All this time, I have been falling in love with him, and I never realized not until this moment. I had to see him with another woman to know…” I whispered silently.
I shook my head in bewilderment and disbelief. It could not be true, I tried to argue with myself. I cannot be in love with Damian, I just wanted him. His money. His body. His game and influence. Not his love.
I got up wearily, and staggered to the gate. I regretted ever showing up at his house. I boarded a cab back to my house. On my way, I blocked Damian on every social media platform. I blocked his lines, and everything that could remind me of him. He is all in the past now.
I moved on with my life almost as if nothing had happened. I never mentioned my affair with Damian to anybody. Not even Jack, my boyfriend. If he ever finds out that I cheated on him, he would break up with me. I cannot risk that.
The following days were prolonged and they ran into weeks. Everything had turned to normal, Ethan travelled to some country in Asia to further his studies and I have not heard from Scott in a while.
On a cold Saturday morning in the month of July, it was drizzling outside, I woke up feeling very dizzy. I was stressed out the previous day, no doubt, but I had enough rest. My room was in a mess, judging from the pile of clothes that were heaped on a basket. My books were littered on the floor and my shoes too.
“I’ll arrange this house later. Let me just get a cup of coffee first.” I whispered to myself.
I walked towards the table in the kitchen where the ingredients for coffee making was set out. The aroma of the freshly-percolated brew was filling the air and I found that I was wrinkling my nose as I rinsed my cup, trying not to breathe in.
I had never noticed before what a nauseating smell coffee had and on the thought, there was a sudden lurch in my stomach and a bitterness in my thr. Gagging, I ran for the tiny washroom.
I just made it to the basin, my hands clutching its cool porcelain as I reached weakly over and over again.
After some minutes, I ran the cold tap on to my handkerchief which I got from the door, wrung it out, then gently wiped my forehead and lips, as I clung, shivering to the basin.
I got back to my room, and sank into my bed. Thankful to sit down, my legs seemed to have transformed into jelly and my head felt as if it did not belong to me.
Series of thoughts begtto run through my head. The least of it all, was pregnancy. “That cannot be possible, it is probably something I ate. I feel all right now.” I said, rebuking the very thought of having a baby now.
I was about to dismiss the thoughts and get ready for work when I remembered that I had missed my first, regular period. I tried to tell myself that It could not be true. That my sensible, well-ordered life could not have plunged into chaos because of one night stand. But nature was not interested in the whys and wherefores of lovemaking, I thought, or in subsequent regrets, however sincere they may be – only in the continuation of the species.
I resolved to run a test, for certainty sake. Instead of making furtive guesses, it would be better if I am hundred percent of my current state.
I had a quick warm bath, wore a red flowered flowing gown with sandals, carried my handbag and hurriedly left my house.
I was nervous on my way to see the doctor, hospitals have never really been my go-to places ever since I lost my Mum. She had gone into the theatre for a caesarian section when she was in labour but she never came out alive. I shook my head in an attempt to get those ugly thoughts off my mind.
I got to the hospital, and they drew blood samples which would be used for the pregnancy tests. I was asked to return the next day for the results so I went back home to spend the rest of the day. I was on edge for the rest of the day, having little or no appetite. At lunch time, I cooked na forced down some scrambled eggs and when evening came, I made a little fruit salad although I did it less than justice.
I tried to catch up on some reading, and when that palled, to watch television but I could not relax or prevent my mind from wandering relentlessly back to the thought of being pregnant. My question now was, who is going to be responsible for the baby? Jack or Damian?