WHEN SYDNEY’S RETURNED, the house was silent. Gabriel’s bike wasn’t parked outside, so she wasn’t sure he had returned yet.
She hoped he was fine.
Sydney was tired. Exhausted. Despite how much she didn’t want Gavin to know where she lived, he still found out. There was no cab in sight, Sydney’s legs were boneless from the roller coaster ride and Gavin offered her a ride she couldn’t resist.
Gavin was impressed with Gabriel’s home. It fitted a psychotic hoi pol-loi like him.
Despite being tired, Sydney read Ethan and Emily to sleep. When they fell asleep, she kissed their forehead and released a shudder.
Hugging herself, she walked out of the room. It was like the temperature dropped every second.
Sydney heard sounds coming from the television. With the hopes of seeing Gabriel in the living room, she went there but saw no one. The living room smelt like a turkey sandwich and tea.
” Strange.” She mouthed and turned off the television.
Maybe he’d watched a movie and gone to bed.
Sydney remembered how the stars bathed the skies; she remembered the full moon and the snow. She wanted to see it again.
She grabbed a coat, went to the patio, and saw Gabriel coming out of the penthouse. He saw her. His lips curved into a smile and he walked to her like he’d not been giving her the cold shoulder.
” You are still up?” He eyed her dry, charred lips for a fraction of a second.
He looked himself again. Relaxed. Tender eyed. It made Sydney happy.
” I wanted to stay outside for a while.”
” But it’s freezing out here,” He grabbed her hand and squeezed it taking her by surprise.
He was warm. Very warm.
” Come with me into the penthouse, I turned up the thermostat.” The corner of his lips fell for a moment and instantly rose again. ” You must be wondering why my hand is warm.”
He smelt like sulfur mixed in sawdust.
Sydney stifled a chuckle, ” Yeah, for a second, I thought you were cold-resistant.”
He tugged on her hand, egging her to follow him into the penthouse, ” We’ll do another late-night snacking while you tell me about your date with your… ex… husband.”
She raised her eyes to look at him and he quickly looked away. His grip on her seemed to tighten as they approached the penthouse.
There was a long rope like it’d snapped on the floor alongside some metal chains with red rust. Too much red.
Sydney saw various drawing papers on the ground, there was a man drawn on one. He was dressed in rags and chained to a wall. He seemed to be in something like a transparent wall.
Sydney tried to make sense of the other drawing. She couldn’t see it properly because of its distance from her but she could tell there was a woman. Mirrors. She looked familiar. Her belly was swollen like she was two or three months pregnant.
Gabriel closed the door behind them.
Sydney’s mouth curved into an o as she looked around the room. The room was small. Small for someone like Gabriel. It was basically empty, aside from a small bed by the corner of the room and a table in the middle of the room with a plate of sandwiches and two cups of tea on top.
” Who was the man you drew?” Sydney asked as they sat on the bed.
She heard the faint sound of metal constricting.
” What man?” Gabriel grabbed a sandwich and handed it to her. Too much energy.
” There’s a drawing of a man on the soil in front of this door. He seemed to be locked up in jail or something.” Sydney explained and took a bite out of the sandwich.
Gabriel watched her keenly as she ate.
” Just a figment of my imagination. I wanted to try something new.”
He sighed and then took a bite out of his sandwich before asking, ” So tell me, how was your date?”
Sydney took a strand of hair off her face uncomfortably, she didn’t want to talk about anything that would put her in a foul mood.
” It wasn’t a date, Gabriel, and please, I don’t want to talk about it.”
He took a sip out of the tea and sighed again, ” Why not? Did he try to make a move at you? Did he touch you?”
His eyes were trained on hers. Waiting. Expecting the expected. Sydney felt the room was becoming too warm.
Gabriel got up from the bed when he knew she wasn’t going to answer. ” Scratch that.”
He took a pillow and ripped it open impatiently. Sydney watched in surprise as the foam fell to the ground then a necklace slipped out of it.
Gabriel smirked picked it up, and sat next to her again. He raised it to her face, ” Look what I got you, isn’t it pretty?”
The corners of his lips fell and rose again.
Sydney gaped at the necklace. Gabriel must have broken into a bank to be able to afford something like this. It was a heart-shaped diamond necklace with a tiny piece of silver encrusted to the sides.
” You are joking, aren’t you?” Her eyes were still wide.
Gabriel shifted close to her. Too close. He could hear her breathing, he could hear her heart racing for the many wrong reasons.
” If anyone asks you who got it for you, tell them it’s the man seeking your heart.” His smile turned grim and he unhooked it and leaned in closer to her.
Sydney released a small gasp when his fingers brushed her neck as he wore the necklace on her.
” Gab- Gabriel, ”
He frowned. He didn’t pull back when he whispered, ” I have given you a symbol of my heart; I’m waiting for you to retrieve yours from the man you gave it to and bring it to me.”
His breath fanned her shoulder.
” Wha- what are you talking about?”
He pulled back to look at her in the eyes. They were very close again. Sydney’s heart raced; she thought Gabriel was as nervous as her, but she couldn’t even hear his heart beating. Something in the necklace was beating instead.
Her heart lurched.
” What’s in this necklace?” She looked horrified.
Gabriel laughed and shook his head, ” A piece of my affection for you. Why are you surprised? At this point, you should know I can do anything for you.”
Sydney swallowed. He’s talking in a very platonic way. Yes, platonic. Does he look like someone who was in love with her? Sydney thought hysterically.
When she couldn’t maintain the steeliness of his gaze, she looked down at the necklace. ” Thank you… For the gift.”
Gabriel cupped her cheek and raised her face to look at him. ” No, it’s not a gift and I know what you are thinking. It’s not true-”
” You don’t know what I’m thinking of.” She hoped he didn’t.
” But you know what I’m talking about, don’t you?”
Sydney looked away, ” No, I don’t. ”
He pulled her face to look at him again. ” Yes, you do. ”
” No, I don’t Gabriel. ”
He gritted his teeth and nodded. ” All right then. I’ll just have to prove you wrong. ”
In a matter of seconds, his hand left her cheek, Sydney’s elbow was resting on the bed, and Gabriel was above her. His hand went to the band holding her hair, and he yanked it off.
” Don’t fall to the bed or I’ll have to hold you up myself.”
” Gab-”
He seized her voice as he placed his lips roughly against hers. Sydney melted to the toes, not in elation but in shock.
His moist lips wet her dry ones. He tried to be gentle but he couldn’t. Her body electrified him, her taste energized him. He’d thought he had lost his ability to ever be sexually attracted to any woman till she saw her.
She wasn’t kissing him back much to his dismay. She wasted granting him access to her mouth. Her body was shaking.
She felt like the wind was against her skin. She expected to be on cloud nine when Gabriel finally succumbed to his lust, but instead, she felt more hollow inside.
Now, she felt like she was the one cheating.
No, it wasn’t cheating. She isn’t married anymore. She doesn’t need a reason not to know another man who isn’t Gavin.
Sydney raised her head to him, moving her lips against his. Biting. Sucking it. Fighting it. Gabriel’s free hand went to her shoulder and pushed off her shirt from her shoulders. His lips molded with hers. He was frowning. Groaning. He could taste her anxiety. Taste her fear.
Sydney’s hands were shaking. She wanted to hold his cheek and bring him impossibly close to her but she was too afraid. She still felt like she was being unchaste. She wanted to cry. She tried to make more of his lips than something more than platonic but she couldn’t.
It wasn’t the same as the way Gavin kissed her.
Gabriel held her hand and put it on his cheek, ” Don’t be afraid. You can touch me anywhere you want.” He mumbled on her lips.
His lips finally left hers. She was gasping. She thought it was over but he licked her earlobes. Her jaw. He kissed her shoulder. He bites the apple of her neck. Sydney gripped his shirt. For a millisecond, she wanted to push him away. Gabriel saw her hesitate.
He stopped. He stared at her as she collapsed on the bed, buried her face in her palms, and began to cry.
His eyes softened, narrowed, and darkened all at the same time. This was what he feared.
His fingers slipped under the hair covering her face and he pushed it away. Rejection seemed like being eaten by rats, stabbed in the heart by a bloody rusty sword, and being through hell and back.
Staring at her, he knew he’d been wrong from the start. He’d been giving himself false hope. She didn’t love him neither did she lust for him.
” I’m sorry, I’m sorry I pushed you into this. I shouldn’t have been desperate before.” Sydney apologized, shaking.
Gil’s words came playing in Gabriel’s mind.
-Do you think it is easy to stop loving someone after being together for that long?-
” You don’t believe it when I said I have feelings for you, do you?” He stroked her cheek.
” I know you don’t. It’s-”
” Don’t say anything. It’s fine. ” He got up from her and stood by the window, fingers in pockets. He looked at the ropes and chains.
Pick it up and dominate her. Pick it up, Gabriel. Pick it up son of a b**ch.
Gabriel released a long breath and closed his eyes. He was cold now. Very cold. Cold in the heart. His face was in a sour look, a look that said he was going insane.
” He cheated on you. He made you cry. He made you bleed. He broke up in the heart and served you the pieces on a broken plate. Why… Why do you still love him so much?”
” I don’t love him.”
” You told me in then thousand different ways you do by rejecting me.”
” I didn’t reject you, Gabriel, I just didn’t want our… friendship-”
He looked at her. Eyes glowing. She was standing now.
” Friendship?”
” There is nothing more to it except the sexual urge.”
He stared at her unbelievably. He held his chest and looked at the ceiling. His heart was ravaged beyond recognition. ” I’ve told you before I-”
” Please, can we change the topic, Gabriel, please?”
Gabriel released another long breath. He blinked. Five times before looking at her. Was she scared of someone loving her or was she scared of Gabriel loving her?
” The food it’s getting cold we might as well eat before it goes to waste.”
They ate in silence. When Sydney got up and told him she wanted to hit the sack, he spoke.
” Blake’s offering us a feast on his yacht on Christmas, just for a day. What do you say? Spend Christmas with me… please.”
Sydney contemplated. ” I… I’m spending Christmas with Gavin. The kids insisted.”
Gabriel’s fingernails were digging into his palms.
” What about Christmas Eve?” He was almost silent.
” Would Gil consider changing the date?”
Gabriel’s eyes met hers, ” I don’t know but I’ll consider.”