The sound of people arguing wakes me. Confused, I look around to find where the voices are coming from and where I am. A heart monitor beeps to the left of me. Am I in the hospital? I pull the curtains surrounding the bed I’m in open to see who else is there and why they’re arguing.
The scene I’m greeted with only confuses me more. “Dad?” I say, shocked to see him here.
“Lilah, you’re finally up,” Dad says, relief in his voice as he rushes over to me.
“How are you feeling?” Beau asks, coming to stand on the other side of the bed. I open my mouth to reply, but Dad cuts me off.
“You’re still here?” Dad barks, glaring at Beau. Yikes. If looks could kill, then Beau would definitely be dead right now.
“I know you don’t want me here,” Beau bites out, “but it’s my baby she’s carrying.”
My eyes widen. Oh my God, Dad knows? How did he find out? This is bad. He’s going to kill Beau.
“A baby that you put in her without her permission,” Dad snaps.
“Just because we aren’t together doesn’t mean I would force myself on your daughter. You can trust me on that, at least.”
Dad shoots another glare across the bed. “Unfortunately, your word means nothing.”
Dad and Beau continue to argue, and my heart rate begins to increase, the monitor beeping erratically. This is not how I planned for Dad to find out, and Beau only seems to be making things worse. I try to intervene but neither of them bats an eye at my efforts to get their attention. I attempt to calm myself down, because I know getting myself worked up won’t do the baby any good. But their bickering combined with my spiraling thoughts is making that very difficult. I don’t even know what they’re arguing about anymore. My eyes drift close as I feel a headache coming on. I start to massage my temples and am only able to open my eyes once I hear a different voice enter the conversation.
“Hey, hey, hey!” A doctor interrupts, snapping her fingers to get their attention. “What is wrong with you two? Can’t you see you’re stressing her out?” she scolds.
Beau and Dad both turn to face me and the expressions on their faces change immediately once they realize how their bickering has affected me.
“I am so sorry, mon amour. I didn’t mean to make this worse.” Beau wipes away a drop of sweat from my forehead.
“I’m sorry too, dear.” Dad strokes my hair and gives me a peck on the cheek.
The doctor looks over at the heart monitor as it resumes a steady rhythm. “That’s better.” She gives a pointed look to Beau and my dad. “Now, I’m sure, regardless of your differences, you both want the mother and child to be healthy, so I would advise no more arguments-at least not in front of her.” The doctor looks back to me before checking the medical chart in her hand.
“Doctor, is something wrong with the baby?” That’s the only reason I can think of as to why I fainted.
“No, you and the baby are both fine. But I would advise you to stay away from things that could exhaust your energy. You’re still in your first trimester, and this is a very delicate stage in pregnancy. Any little mistake can result in a possible miscarriage. Try to avoid stress as much as possible. It’s not good for you or the baby.”
I nod, my hand drifting over my stomach. “I’ll be more careful from now on.”
“Glad to hear it. All your tests look good, so you are free to go home.”
“Thank you, doctor.”
“You’re welcome. Have a nice day,” she says, walking away.
Beau looks at me, a smile on his face. “I knew you weren’t serious about wanting an abortion. You wouldn’t have been worried about the baby if you were.”
“You wanted to get an abortion?” Dad asks, wide-eyed.
“Yes-I mean, no…” I try to answer both of them at the same time. Shutting my eyes, I think about how to handle this. I don’t want Dad to think I want to get rid of his grandchild, but I don’t want to give Beau the satisfaction of knowing that his plan to use me can still work.
I decide there’s only one thing to do. Ignore them both. Pressing my lips together to keep my whirling thoughts to myself, I begin to prepare to leave. I drop my feet to the side of the bed and look around for my shoes. I don’t have to search long because Beau realizes what I’m looking for and gets my sneakers, even kneeling to help me put them on. I thank him and use his shoulders to stand up. I’m still a little weak, but I think that’s to be expected.
“I can take it from here.” Dad walks over and puts an arm around my shoulders. I wrap my arms around his waist, leaning against him. Beau glares at Dad but keeps any comments to himself. He walks over to the table and picks up my handbag.
We all leave the hospital together, which is just as awkward as it sounds. But I’m happy neither of them asks me again about the abortion. Dad helps me into the backseat of his car before walking over to the driver’s side. He must have rushed over here and didn’t bother to wait for his driver. I’m about to lie back against the seat when the door opens. I look up to see Beau.
“What is it, Beau?” I don’t have the strength to argue with him right now, and I also don’t want to talk about anything in front of my dad.
“We haven’t finished our discussion. If you go to work tomorrow, let me know and I’ll come by.”
“I have nothing to discuss with you, Beau. Goodbye.” I grab the door handle and slam it shut. “Let’s go home, Dad.” I ignore Beau still standing next to the car and lie down, closing my eyes.
***
I walk down the stairs, my heart pounding. Dad asked me to talk once I woke up from my nap. The thought of avoiding him entered my mind, but I know better than that. The sooner we address my situation, the better it will be for both of us. Taking a seat across from Dad in the living room, I play with my fingers and stare at the floor as I wait for the storm to arrive.
Finally, he speaks. “How could you?” Disappointment drips from his tone.
“I’m sorry.” My shoulders drop under the shame of his question. This isn’t something that I want. That I’m proud of. I never meant for this to happen.
“Your mother’s family will never let me hear the end of this.”
“I know, and I am sorry, Dad.” Tears sting the back of my eyes as I imagine how disappointed my mother would also be if she was alive.
“No need to say sorry. The deed has already been done.” He sighs. “Now, let’s talk about your plans for the baby. Do you really wish to have an abortion?”
“No,” I quickly answer.
“Then why did that thug say you wanted one?” he asks. I guess he’s found a new insult for Beau.
“He thinks I want one, but I don’t. I hope you don’t mind me keeping the baby. That’s what I really want.” I look at my dad with hopeful eyes, praying he doesn’t ask me to abort the baby or give it up for adoption.
“I would never ask you to kill or give away my grandchild. The baby in your womb has my blood running in its veins.”
“Thank you, Dad.” I smile softly.
Despite his disappointment, he smiles back. “You’re welcome, sweetheart.” He stands, leaning over to kiss my forehead as he walks by. “It’s going to be okay.”
A sigh of relief whooshes out of me as he goes into the other room. My hand rests on my stomach. I hope he’s right.