Jace’s POV
I looked at Lillian once more, who was sleeping peacefully on the bed, before stepping out and going to my office. For hours, she tried to cheer me up by talking a lot, yet I couldn’t smile or laugh genuinely because I felt so betrayed and hurt.
When we noticed how late it was, I wanted to leave, but she invited me to share her bed, which I agreed to even when I knew that I wasn’t going to do it. I wanted to settle everything once and for all.
“I hope you are already there,” I mind-linked Harvey as I walked through the passage.
“Yes, Alpha,” he answered.
When I reached the office and touched the door handle, I took in a deep breath, released it, and then walked in.
Harvey and Light were standing on each side of Paul, who had his head lowered.
I closed the door behind me and walked to where they were standing in front.
“Paul,” I called as he tensed.
“Look up,” I said as he slowly did.
He had a red bruise on his eye, and his lip was slightly busted.
I looked at Harvey, who quickly shifted his gaze to the other side.
So he was the one who had roughed him up? For how long did he hit him because hours had gone by since our confrontation, and he still wasn’t healing. Anyway, that didn’t matter to me. I wanted to hear for the last time if he really did not regret what he had done to me.
“You fucking her behind my back wasn’t what hurt me. What did hurt was you choosing her over our friendship. You going against me just to make her happy. As I am speaking to you right now, I feel like you don’t care much because you would do it again if such a thing were to happen again,” I said as his expression turned into a sad one.
“I am so sorry, Jace. I really am because I seriously would do it again,” he answered as Light raised his hand to hit him but stopped when I shook my head.
There was no point for us to talk it through because I could tell he had already made up his mind.
“I know, that’s why I, JACE WALES, ALPHA OF DAWNIGHT PACK, HEREBY BANISH YOU, PAUL LEENER, FROM THIS PACK AND STRIP YOU OF YOUR DUTIES AS GAMMA OF THIS PACK,” I said seriously.
He widened his eyes as a tear rolled down his cheek. When he fell to his knees weakly, I closed my eyes for a second to not show weakness.
“You two make sure he never steps foot here again,” I ordered seriously.
Harvey had his jaw dropped while Light looked terrified.
“I hope you learn from him and never ever do something to disappoint me,” I said and then turned and walked out of the room.
I stood still for a minute when I heard a loud, painful howl from Paul.
“You did the right thing,” Ridge said softly.
I sighed heavily and began walking to my room. Each step I took felt like someone was dragging my feet down, and my heart was badly aching while my eyes were blurred by unshed tears.
Never was there a day when I thought I would lose any of my friends. They were my brothers who swore to stand by my side. They were my only family.
When I reached my room and touched the door’s handle, I inhaled Lillian’s scent.
“Is this all in my head?” I asked myself, then slowly opened the door, thinking it was all in my mind.
She quickly stood up from the bed with a sad expression on her face.
I stood there not knowing what to do or how to react.
She smiled and then spread her arms wide.
“You don’t have to be strong when I am around,” she whispered softly.
I quickly moved and embraced her with a smile.
“He is banished,” I said in a cracked voice.
“You made the right decision,” she answered softly while rubbing her hands on my back.
“It was the only thing I could think of doing. Because if he died right in front of me or by your hand, I could have been haunted by guilt. I don’t want to go through the same nightmare I went through when I lost you,” I said seriously, then pulled back and looked at her.
“He made his decision clear to me one last time in the office when he said he would really do it again if such a situation were to happen,” I said, then felt at ease when she pressed her hand on my cheek.
“Let me make you something nice to eat,” she whispered as I shook my head.
I felt like I could throw up if I ate something.
“I would love to have a drink,” I answered and then walked to the bed and sat at the edge.
“Okay, you just sit there,” she instructed and then walked to my desk, grabbing the whiskey bottle that was there.
“No, not that, I want something stronger,” I said seriously.
“Then what can I get for you?” she asked.
“In my office, there is a bottle of tequila and in one of the desk drawers, there is a bottle of wolfsbane. Please bring it here for me,” I answered.
She hesitated but left without question.
I felt too weak to walk, and my head was beginning to ache.
I wanted to take it all out on alcohol before I could do something horrible to anyone who would anger or trigger me.
“Let me take over,” Ridge said calmly.
I brushed my hand through my hair and then sighed heavily.
He too was very disappointed with the response he got from Snow, yet he was handling everything better than I was.
“I will put you to sleep, and you will no longer be able to see or hear a thing. Your pain will slowly subside, and with time, you will get to laugh at this shitty memory,” he said as I stood up.
“I don’t want to be the coward that runs away whenever he is hurt. Last time I couldn’t handle my pain, I went into denial, and you were the one to hold us down. I just can’t do that again; I refuse to do that to us,” I answered.
“You and I aren’t any different, Jace. I am still the Alpha of this pack as much as you are, and Lillian is also my mate. Me taking over and shielding you from things that may break us doesn’t make you a coward, and it never will. Your pain is my own, and the way I handle things is how you would too if I was the one going through the same thing. Rest for a little while and ease your pain; when you are ready to take over, I will step back,” he said as I nodded.
What I needed was just a day to shut myself in the dark because it was getting hard to control my feelings and strength.