Lillian’s POV
What was this sensation I was feeling between my lips as my tongue collided with his? My breath was labored, and my nipples were twitching and hard. I loved his scent that overpowered Leah’s scent and his arm around my ass and back.
I was about to pull back when he moved his hand to my nape, keeping me in his embrace as I tried my best to kiss him back and taste more of him.
“Love,” I whispered in a daze between the kisses.
I loved how I was feeling, and I wanted more.
He pulled back with a surprised expression on his face.
“What did you call me?” He asked huskily as it dawned on me how my words had come out. It was like I was calling him that.
“I’m sorry, I meant Alpha,” I answered in an apologetic tone.
“No, that’s not what I want to hear,” he said.
Then what did he want to hear? Was I supposed to tell him that I’ll never ever say that again?
“I want to hear your sexy lips call me that name again,” he said huskily as I felt my cheeks heat up.
“Won’t you please call me that name?” he asked softly.
How was I to tell him that it was a mistake?
“L…,” I started, but the word couldn’t come out.
I was feeling very nervous; at the same time, I didn’t want to tell him the truth and hurt his feelings.
I sighed softly and then gathered my courage.
“Love,” I called softly as he smiled widely.
“Yes, Lillian,” he answered calmly as I felt shy.
“Love,” I called again, this time giggling.
It sounded so cheesy, yet I liked seeing him this excited over me calling him that.
He slowly put me down and then wrapped his arms around my waist as I rested my head against his chest.
“Lillian, do you have something you want to say to me?” he asked simply.
“No, and thank you,” I answered after a few seconds of thinking hard.
“For what?” he asked.
“For accepting me and being kind to me, even if you didn’t have to be,” I answered.
He pulled back and moved his hand to my cheek.
“Lillian, that’s my line, and honestly, thank you so much for being here with me,” he said and then leaned in and kissed my forehead.
When he pulled back, he walked to the bed and sat down, patting his thigh.
“Come here,” he said softly.
I pulled up the sheet, wrapping it around my chest, and then walked to where he was sitting, sitting on his lap facing him.
“Do you remember how Leah’s parents treated me in the past?” he asked.
“Of course, I do,” I answered.
They treated him like their own son, that’s why it was shocking when he started going out with Leah when she was more like his little sister.
“They always asked me for one favor when they were alive, and that was to always treat their daughter right and to take good care of her. On the surface, I acted dumb, but deep down I understood their words perfectly. When they died, I felt responsible for her, and I just began going with the flow of everything. There was never a day I was in love with her, although we shared a bed. I gave her a place and a position that most she-wolves dreamt about; perhaps that was my way of paying her late parents back. You can’t believe my words, but my heart was already fixed on you, and my mind as well when I realized you were my mate. I hated myself when all I could think about was you. That’s why I took out my anger on you,” he said as I shifted to face the other side.
“I know how horrible I am, and I have no excuses to make. I just wanted to let you know the truth. There has never been anyone besides you. It was always you, Lillian. Leah was someone I wanted to use to forget about you and pull myself away from the reality of you being my mate,” he said, then rested his head against my shoulder.
“Do you hate me now for saying the truth?” He asked seriously.
No, I didn’t, but that didn’t mean I was okay with hearing his bad words.
“I’m sorry, please,” he whispered.
I frowned deeply and then looked at him seriously.
“You almost traumatized me, Jace, and right now I’m asking myself what I am to be comfortable in front of the very person who badly abused me. Am I naive and stupid, or just plain desperate?” I asked honestly as he sat upright with a pained expression on his face.
“Please never say that about yourself. You are kind and pure-hearted, Lillian. I am the one who should be called names because despite hurting you so much, I just can’t let you go. Even if you didn’t want to be with me, I would have been crawling at your feet and begging desperately because I can’t live without you. When I saw your lifeless body at the river, a part of me died that day, and in that moment, I experienced pain and sorrow I had never experienced before in my whole entire life,” he answered sadly.
I stood up and walked to the wardrobe without a word, pulling it open.
“Don’t you think we are rushing things?” I asked as I browsed through the clothes.
“Lillian,” he called as my heart picked up.
“Please don’t do that,” he said seriously.
“Do what?” I asked in a low tone.
“Push me away. I can’t take it, being away from you. If you think I am rushing things, then I will behave. I won’t touch you without your permission or kiss you. I will always be on my best behavior. Just let me be by your side every day,” he answered as I felt powerless.
No matter how much I wanted to act cold with him, I found myself being kind and treating him nicely.
I adored him, that I knew, but whenever I thought about how he had treated me in the past, I felt angry.
“It will take time to fully forgive you, Alpha. I won’t deny the fact that I crave your attention and time. My wolf and I need you, but that doesn’t mean we truly forgive you,” I said, then glanced to the side.
He stood up and walked to where I was, standing behind me.
“I know, so please forgive me for taking advantage of your kindness,” he answered.
“It’s okay, I really enjoyed the time we spent together a few minutes ago,” I said honestly.
“Lillian, if I may, would you allow me to give you a hug?” he asked.
I slowly turned and faced him.
I too wanted to feel his warmth in the moment, and I didn’t know why.
Maybe it was the closure my wolf wanted towards our mate.
“Please,” I answered with a smile.
“Thank you,” he said and then wrapped his arms around me as I hugged him back, enjoying the closure he was giving us.