HIRAM’S POV:
Each day I wake up with the thought that I may have lost June forever. I want to end my life, but I know that will only attract eternal punishment. The moon goddess gives life, and only she has the right to take it.
Father’s funeral has taken place, and Hollis is about to be crowned the new alpha king. There’s a lot going on at home – Mum isn’t too strong mentally, and Hope is pregnant, so I have to step up to take on some roles. It is basically Hollis’ former position, which is making sure everything in the pack runs smoothly while Hollis handles the big political matters.
Hera has been silent for days, and she won’t speak to anyone. As for Hana, she only speaks to me, and in monosyllables. Coming home to find the funeral of a father wasn’t what I wanted, but Mum wouldn’t listen. The Everbloom Sanctuary will only keep you guessing, and it will heighten anxiety if you have no clue what exactly is wrong at home.
My mother and I were in similar situations, but she didn’t have a clue. She lost her mate, and I lost mine too, but she is very much alive. But if you think about it, I lost my father too.
“You have to be a man, Hiram. Show no weakness,” I say to myself, grasping the edge of the sink in my bathroom.
It is six in the morning, and being awake is inevitable. I take a bath, throw on my royal attire, then make my way out to the room at exactly seven. Downstairs, I meet my brother at the dining table with his wife, Hope, who is heavily pregnant. She is expected to deliver her baby any day now.
“Good morning,” I mutter to the soon-to-be Luna and Alpha, and they both echo a good morning.
I try to have my breakfast quietly, but Hollis places his hands on Hope’s belly, rubbing it gently before kissing it. A feeling I can’t quite explain crosses my heart, and I try to compose myself, but it heightens, pressing down on my chest.
“I cannot wait to meet you,” he says to his pup. The feeling becomes clear – it is jealousy. I want what he has, but I cannot have it because I decided to act foolishly.
The thought tears through my chest, causing me to get to my feet at once. I walk away without looking back. I do not blame Hollis because he has no clue what I am going through, and I cannot throw my problems at them, as they already have a lot.
On my way out, I spot Hera sitting alone on the pavement outside, clutching her teddy bear.
“Do you mind if I sit?” When I ask, she looks up at me without a word. “I’m going to take that as a yes.”
I sit close to her, staring into thin air just like she was.
“Do you think Daddy is happy where he is?” she asks, and I do not hesitate to mouth a yes.
“He is free from the sufferings of the world, and the moon goddess is taking good care of him.”
She glances at me.
“Then why isn’t she taking care of us?” she questions, her gaze on me. “If she loves us equally, why did she take him from us, knowing it would hurt so much?” Her questions tear through me, but I am glad she is learning to talk again.
I do not have the answers to her question because, at twenty-nine, I wondered the same thing, and I couldn’t imagine what a thirteen-year-old would feel.
“For days, I’ve believed that if I keep mute and not say a word, then maybe it wouldn’t be true. If I do not acknowledge the word ‘dead’ with my mouth, then Daddy will come back, but…” she inhales deeply as the words get stuck in her mouth.
I pull her to me, placing her head on my shoulder.
“I’m sorry, Hera. I know Hollis can’t replace Dad, but you can count on him,” I say to her, and she sniffs.
“Hollis has a baby coming, so I won’t be relevant anymore, and…”
“I’ll be here for you, and Hollis will still love you.” I cut her off before she can finish. “I will always be here for you, and I will love you forever.”
She remains on my chest for a while before she pulls away.
“Dad wants us to be happy, and his spirit will always guide us,” I try to console her further.
Mother’s voice interrupts us, and I hear her yelling from inside. The both of us glance at each other, and she gets to her feet.
“You should have breakfast before she gets cranky with you,” I say, and she throws her arms around me one more time.
“I love you,” she mutters, and I pat her back gently. Then she pulls away and rushes back inside, while I walk to the parking lot to get on with today’s duties.
Working as a secondary alpha Prince isn’t easy. I have to make rounds in the pack to ensure the healthcare is sound. The warriors are doing their jobs in training and protection, and many more things on the list.
At the end of the day, I am exhausted. I know that when I return home, things will not get better, so I make my way to the nearest bar. The plan is to get high, then go home, and have a good night’s rest.
As I walk into the bar, I make my way to the counter, where I sit on a barstool. The bartender attends to me at once, passing me a drink. Then I sit with my hands cupping the mug of beer. I try not to think of Juniper, but she is all that is on my mind. I imagine her being here with me and going back home to lie in her warm embrace with her kisses ravaging my body as she tries to ease my stress.
You fucked up, Hiram; I say to myself.
I down the entire content in the mug, then I request for another one. I sip half of it, then I drop the mug, and I shut my eyes with my hand, grabbing the cup from the top as I let the alcohol seep in.
“Hiram.”
A familiar voice cuts through mine, and I turn to see Vera standing by my side.
“Vera.” her name falls from my lips as I stare at her. She is still the same – full lips, black eyes, with a pretty smile.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, and her face creases slightly with a frown.
“What do you mean? This is my father’s bar, remember?” she asks, and I sigh.
I have a lot on my mind to keep track of who owns a particular bar.
“Or have you been clouded with the thoughts of a million human women that you have none left for me?” she throws a joke, and I force a smile before sipping from my mug.
“My dad sent me here to receive a package. I’ll be right back, so do not go anywhere,” she says, then she disappears into a room behind the counter.
I couldn’t care less about her, so I sit there drinking two more mugs of beer before she returns.
“Looks like you’ve had a lot to drink,” she comments, and I shrug, bringing the mug to my lips.
She takes a seat while I down my drink, dropping it on the surface with a clink.
“So, what have you been up to?” she asks, and I do not even hesitate.
“I found my mate. She is human, and I lost her because of my foolishness. I wish I could get her back, but she is gone for good.”
Her eyes look worried.
“She rejected you?”
“No, she was too kind to preserve my stupid heart, but it makes no sense, because the hurt I feel is worse than what they say rejection feels like,” I say to her. Then she reaches out to hold my hand.
“I’m sorry about that. Is there anything I can do to ease the pain?” she asks, and I nod my head, then take the last gulp.
“Can I use your phone to check something?” I question.
She has me blocked on all platforms, so I need to know how she is doing. I scroll to Instagram on Vera’s phone, searching up June’s profile. She has a new photo – just a portrait.
“Learning to smile even though not everything works out.”
Not being with her makes my heart ache, but seeing a smile on her face is everything to me. I give Vera back her phone, then I get to my feet.
“She is beautiful,” Vera says, but I do not wait.
“Thank you for hearing me out, Vera. You are a good friend,” I say to her, then I make my way out of the bar.