“Please forgive me Nara, please” he was crying at my feet, literally begged me to forgive him.
With William having left the decision entirely in my hands, I found myself torn between two painful choices. My heart was in turmoil, and I knew that either path I chose would be filled with difficulty.
As I gazed at Ansell, a torrent of memories flooded my mind. Everything that he has done to me replayed, the auction, that dreadful first night, the threats to my dignity, the blackmail involving my parents, the nightmarish experience in the dungeon, my humiliation, the terrifying ordeal of witnessing my brother nearly killed before my eyes, torturing Jonathan for talking to him, the night where he show me hell and didn’t stop even when I lost consciousness, the torment he put my brother through, everything replayed in my head and I realised that a mere apology could never undo the immense pain and suffering he had caused.
He had the power to save me from that auction but chose to subject me to hell instead. I was telling him again and again not to give me the punishment of the crime I didn’t commit but he never listened to me even once. He had taken the wrong path, and my heart ached as I considered it all.
My heart clenched looking at him but my resolve was stronger than anything.
With strong determination and finalizing my decision I took a small step backwards which froze Ansell’s body at it it’s place.
His palms were still joined as his head slowly moved up in disbelief because he assumed that as I still have soft spot in my heart for him so I will forgive him but he forget that the soft spot is only for my old Ansell which I have lost forever.
“I can’t”
Those two words were barely audible but the silence around us made them crisp and clear.
“I can’t” I repeated again this time louder and shaking my head from left to right.
“Please, Nara” he requested again, his voice was less audible than mine but the desperation was quite clear in his eyes.
I could see in his eyes that he is breaking. He regret that his madness has taken him to this point.
“I begged you multiple times, Ansell” I said, my voice steady but filled with emotion.
“Did you listen to my pleas when I begged for mercy? I even warned you that you would regret this in the future, but you refused to believe me. I tried to tell you the truth multiple times but you were not ready to open your eyes. And let’s not forget how you threatened to harm my parents if I didn’t do as you say” I added, my voice trembling at the thought of my family.
“I don’t see there is any difference between you and your father ”
He gulped as his eyelids became heavy.
“Please Nara, I will give up everything. I am ready to face any punishment you give but not this. Please if you are not ready to forgive me than give me time, I will amend…”
“Nothing could be amended Ansell ” I interrupted him. “You wanted to break me. You got successful in that” I drew a shaky breath. “You have broken me so profoundly that nothing could amend me now, nothing could bring back my shattered pieces. When I steps out the house I am surely not going to be the same person whom you brought here” I told him.
“Please don’t…. ” He shook his head desperately trying to reach out for my legs but I look another step back before he could even touch me.
“You said that you can’t live without me”
My heart felt heavy and I struggled to breath as I announced my decision. It was not only the punishment for him but for me as well and I could feel myself breaking from inside. Every breath I took was pricking me.
“So, your punishment is that you will have to live without me”
I removed the ring which he gave me a few days ago and threw it on the floor. The diamond in it broke as it hit the floor multiple times before stopping far from us.
His eyes squeezed shut as if it was not the diamond but his heart that broke. He was not only one who suffered though. The person who have suffered the moist is me, and even now I am feeling his pain, the pang in my heart which is killing me but he deserves this. He deserves all this no matter how painful it is for me.
“And I don’t want you to show me your face ever again” I declared in a cold tone, looking up, refusing to look into his eyes ever again.
My eyes were pricking with tears but not even a single one came down my cheek.
“Please, Nara, anything but this” he pleaded, once again joining his hands before me. “I can’t live without you. You are all I have, please”
“You never had me, if you did you have valued me”
I didn’t move my gaze down to him as I spoke. Partially because I didn’t want to see him again and partially because I knew that if I saw his broken soul which is mirroring mine it would become difficult for me to walk away from him than it already is.
“It is over!”
I declared in cold tone and as if the universe itself echoed my words, the clouds outside thundered loudly, telling the world story which could have seen so beautiful if not manipulated.
With much difficulty I turned around and William guided me out.
“NARA!”
The painful voice of Ansell echoed in the hall and came to my ear three times along with the thunder outside. It took every ounce of my strength not to turn around and look at him.
My feet were shaking with every step that was taking me away from him.
As we walked away, I could still her Ansell’s deafening roars, envisioning him on his knees with his head held high, his fists clenched tightly, and every muscle in his body taut with frustration.
I knew he wasn’t solely responsible for the chaos that had begun, but he could have chosen to end it differently, beautifully and just the way he always imagined.
Now both of us have to burn in this fire, the fire of love, revenge, regret and redemption.
He has broken not only me but my trust and I don’t think I would ever be able to trust anyone anymore.
As if some beast has possessed over him, I heard him destroying everything that came in the reach of his hands including the cake that he brought with so much excitement for our wedding.
William’s hold on my shoulder was tight which supported me to walk ahead.
As we came out, William halted a cab and my eyes lifted up where I saw a lightning parting two clouds which were meant for each other.
William opened the door for me which shifted my attention and he pushed me slightly, helping me to sit inside before joining me.
I scrunched to the corner as everything replayed in my head. My fists curled into my wedding dress, my knuckles turning white with all the force I used.
I was bitting my lower lip to control my tears when suddenly I felt a soft hand on my head which made me look at William.
Hid eyes held a kind understanding, and in that moment, I could no longer contain my emotions. Tears welled up and began streaming down my cheeks, a release of the pent-up sorrow and frustration that had been building within me.
He shifted forward and engulfed me in his arms while I cried hiding my face in my palms and placing it on his chest. My sobs echoed in the cab as he whispered sweet nothing in my ear.
I know announced this punishment to him but it seems equally painful for me.
“Why did I love him, brother? Why”
I cried out, the anguish pouring out in each year and quivering word.
Regret consumed me. It was my fault that I fall for him even when William was warning me from the starting, now I would have to pay for it.
I cried until my throat felt parched, and my eyes burned from the relentless flow of tears. But I made a promise to myself that it was for the last time that I was crying like this because I needed to be strong.
For me.
For my family.
And most importantly, for the life growing inside me!