I decided to end this chapter once and for all so that he could not blackmail me over this anymore.
“Let’s do it” I challenged him, asking him to move forward and have what he wanted.
My heart pounded fiercely in my chest as I stood there, my gaze locked with his. He was staring back at me without blinking.
I was willing to make a painful sacrifice if it meant putting an end to his sadistic games. I know it would be painful for me, and maybe I will lose my soul, but at least this will give him peace, and he will torture me daily.
I waited for him to take any action, to grab the opportunity that I was giving him, but when he didn’t move from his place, my fingers slowly reached out to the them of my T-shirt.
My hands were trembling, and my whole body from inside was shaking with fear and strange kind of power. I was determined, and I was sure that nothing could stop me now.
It was not an act of submission, as he wanted, but to regain some control over the situation, which had gone far beyond my control.
Offering him to myself seems like a better option than getting defeated by him.
I was now sick of all this, of him, of his behave, and of living in constant fear of him raping me. If this is all he wants, and believes that by doing so, William will receive the punishment he deserves, then so be it.
He stood there staring at me, as I slowly rolled up my T-shirt.
His eyes bore into mine, searching for any hint of vulnerability or hesitation. A heavy silence hung in the air, and the surroundings seemed to be frozen in anticipation of what was coming next.
I looked into his eyes, and I could see a glimmer of uncertainty flicker there, like he wasn’t entirely sure how to react to my unexpected defiance.
Even though I was not sure how this thing would end up, I had a belief in my heart that I would not lose myself completely. At least I would have the faith that I fight with him with everything.
His eyes were searching for any sign of hesitation or defeat in my eyes because he was sure that I would break down and stop all this ultimately.
I am sure that he was waiting for me to stop so that he could make fun of me and force me just the way he wanted, but I was too determined in my decision to take my steps back.
If this is what has been written in my destiny, then let it be. I should be facing it with strong shoulders rather than crying for mercy at his feet.
My hands shook as I rolled up the t-shirt and took it off completely. My eyes returned to his face after he dropped the t-shirt on the floor.
“Come on, Ansell, what’s stopping you now?” I could sense the emotions welling up within me, threatening to spill over in the form of tears, and I could feel my throat choking with the emotions.
His reaction was something that I could not decipher. He seemed caught off guard, almost as if he hadn’t anticipated this level of reactance from me.
Even though I was no longer wearing anything other than a bra on my upper body, he didn’t not look down.
For a moment, I thought he might actually make a move, and carry out his sinister intentions. But he di nothing except stand in his place. His jaw clenched tightly as he fisted his palms. His gaze never left my face.
The tension was growing with every passing second, and I was suffocating, but I didn’t stop.
My vision blurred as tears welled up in my eyes while my fingers reached down to my jeans. Our eyes are still locked. I could see him struggling and fighting, but he didn’t make a single move. His eyes, like his, were frozen in place.
Despite his internal struggle, he didn’t make a single move to stop me. His gaze remained fixated on mine, unrelenting and intense, as if he were trying to see into the depths of my soul.
My fingers slipped twice, the button escaping my grasp, but I refused to give up. With a determined effort, I managed to undo the button, my hands then hooking onto the waistband of my jeans.
As I pulled them down, a wave of cold air hit my almost naked body, causing me to gasp audibly. My heart raced, not just from the exposure but from the anticipation of his reaction.
I wanted to cry, but I didn’t.
Because none of this is going to help me now. I have to fight this, and I have to fight this all alone.
“Come on!” I mumbled, “Let’s do it..” the words were barely audible.
“What are you waiting for, Ansell?” I asked further.
I wanted him react because his silence and frozen form weren’t getting us anywhere.
My fingers were visibily shaking as they reached out to my back to unhook my bra. Though he wasn’t looking yet, he knew my every move. He was well aware of what I was doing.
I shivered when my ice-cold fingers came into contact with my back. I struggled to find the hook, but when I did, I didn’t hesitate even for a second to unhook it.
My soul has already been lain naked in front of him and he has claimed his right over my body. It was just a formality.
The cold wind hit my back as I unhooked the bra, and my back was now bare. My bosom was still covered with it.
I stopped because I didn’t have enough strength to remove it fully. I inhaled deep breaths to steady myself and make myself ready for the next ordeal.
With trembling hands, I reached for the bra strap, my fingers shaking with fear and resolve. It was at that moment that his gaze finally shifted, snapping back to reality as if pulled from a trance.. his eyes widened slightly and his throat moved as he swallowed audibly.
He docked his head before taking his first move after such a long time. With a determined step, he closed the distance between us, his gaze now burning with a raw intensity that sent a jolt through my veins.
I myself have invited the lion, and how I am trapped. I can’t take my steps back, nor do I want to. I am not among those who turn their backs after making a decision.
With a shaky breath, I lifted my chin up, ready to face whatever he had to give me. I silently vowed to myself that no matter what he did I would not let myself break in front of him.
“What do you think you are doing?” He asked as his eyes narrowed at mine, staring at me with chilling intensity, pinning me to my place with just his gaze.
“What you wanted” I retorted. “Didn’t you want my body from the first moment you laid your eyes on me?” I asked him the same thing, which he told me a few days ago.
A flicker of something passed over his features, a hint of emotion that momentarily softened the hard edges of his demeanor. But I cannot fathom exactly what it was. Sometimes he becomes too hard to read.
“You know what”
Suddenly, his grip on my jaw tightened, his fingers digging into my skin with a painful force. The jolt of pain shot through me and I winced my heart pounding in my chest. His eyes bore into mine, a storm if intensity raging within them.
“You thought that by doing this, you would win” he tilted his head, now bringing it so close to me that our noses brushed against each other. “But from all this, you have proved me right” his hold intensified. “I was right! You are nothing more than a wanton woman who wants the attention of men”
He left my jaw and pushed me back. I stumbled but took a hold of myself on time. My bra stayed in its place. But I was too shocked by his words to think of anything else. I couldn’t care less about my appearance or my body at the moment.
“As much as I wanted you and could easily take you against this floor, the show you’ve put in front of me has turned me off. You and your body disgust me right now”” he said, moving his gaze down my body for the first time in a long time.
His nose scrunched up as his eyes descended on my body and returned to my face in a split second.
“If I had you now then this would make you win but this is my game and in this victory is only mine along with you” he settled, “I will certainly have you, but when you cry on my feet to fuck you” he shot back, “that will be the day I completely break you and this little defiance of yours. I will win the day you will give yourself to me with your own will”
I could see fire and determination in his eyes as if he was surely going to do something that would ultimately make me beg him.
Giving me a last look, he turned on his heel and started walking out of the room.
“It will never happen” I shouted from his back, “because your mere existence disgust me. Mr. Orion”
I collapsed on the ground when he was gone from my sight.
His words reverberated in mind, a painful echo that I couldn’t shake off. The accusation, the humiliation, it was all too much to process, and I broke into tears once again.