CHAPTER FORTY
NADIA
It’s like a cycle!
Trouble, they say, has many branches. I had barely recovered from the humiliation I suffered at the hands of Lara, Bethany, and Sandro when another wave of trouble hit me. It was one of those mornings when I didn’t feel like going to school. The thought of facing the halls, with their whispers and mocking laughter, made my stomach churn. But deep down, I was scared of proving to myself that I was a weakling, as weak as Alex, Sandro, and their girlfriends made me feel. I couldn’t always let them win.
I didn’t wear my usual fake confident mask that morning. I hesitated in front of my closet, staring at my clothes, wishing I could just disappear into thin air. The clock ticked loudly in the background, reminding me of the time slipping away. Finally, I pulled on my favorite t-shirt and jeans, hoping they would give me a bit of strength and courage.
As I made my way to college, I kept thinking that today could be one of those rare days where everything went peacefully, without another round of bullying from Alex and Sandro. Though it had been a while since they sexually abused me, not that I liked it, but it made me wonder if they only wanted to fuck me and be done with me. Because it seemed so.
The sky looked clear, and the sun was shining, which made me feel like maybe, just maybe, it could be a good day.
However, as luck would have it, I arrived late to class. I rushed in, heart pounding, and stopped dead in my tracks. Mr. Rothwell, my physics teacher, was already at the front of the class, scribbling something on the board. The room fell silent when I entered, all eyes turning toward me. I felt the heat rise in my cheeks.
“Ah, look who finally decided to join us!” Mr. Rothwell said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Nadia, do you think this is a game? You think it’s acceptable to waltz in whenever you feel like it?”
I opened my mouth to explain, but no words came out. My stomach twisted with embarrassment as I slowly made my way deeper into the classroom. “I am sorry, Sir.”
“Being voted the MVP of the inter-college basketball competition doesn’t make you any special, you know,” he continued, a smirk curling on his lips. The murmurs began again-whispers and giggles from my classmates, and I could feel their eyes boring into me.
“Shall I remind you that this is a physics class and not your stage?” he added, clearly enjoying the moment.
I wanted to disappear. I glanced at the clock on the wall, wishing I could rewind time and just stay home. “Just keep going,” I told myself silently. “It’ll be over soon.”
“Now, take your miserable ass and sit down!” he ordered, disdain dripping from his words.
I dragged my feet to my seat, the weight of their stares heavy on my shoulders.
When I reached my desk, I buried my face into my arms, hoping the world would just leave me alone for a moment.
“Class is not a bedroom, Nadia!” Mr. Rothwell shouted from the front. “You can’t even afford that luxury!” My heart sank further, and I felt my whole body grow hot with shame. I tried to control my breathing, but it was difficult.
“How about we engage your brain now?” he said, striding toward me. “Let’s see if you can contribute anything meaningful to this lesson. What’s the formula for kinetic energy?”
My mind went blank. I chewed my lower lip, frustration bubbling up inside me. Not that I didn’t know the answer. I was just too angry to even remember anything. I stared at him, then glanced around the classroom. Everyone was watching, waiting for me to fail. It felt like the blood was rushing to my ears. I was aware of my classmates whispering and snickering.
“I-I don’t know,” I stammered, a rush of anger coursing through me.
“Out!” he bellowed. “Get out of my class! If you can’t participate, then you don’t deserve to be here! You are no good to us, Nadia!”
I didn’t wait for him to say anything else. I grabbed my bag and stomped out of the classroom, heart racing and fury mixing with sadness. “Why was my luck always this bad?”
Once outside, I hurried down the hall, seeking a lonely spot where I could be alone with my thoughts. I finally found a secluded corner near a staircase. My heart felt heavy, and I pressed my back against the cool wall, letting my bag slip to the floor.
As the tears began to fall, I felt both sad and angry. “I can’t believe this is happening again. Why can’t they just leave me alone?” I whispered to myself, taking deep breaths to try and calm down.
Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, I heard laughter echoing down the hallway. I turned my head and saw Lara and Bethany approaching. My stomach dropped. I knew their taunts would cut through me like a knife.
It sucks being helpless!
“Oh look, it’s our little MVP,” Lara said, her voice dripping with mock sweetness. “How does it feel to be humiliated by a teacher? Heard he sent you packing before you could even fail! I wish he had given you a little more time. It would have made for a great spectacle. You always know how to serve the college one, cowgirl!” she taunted me even more.
If I could, I would have taken the breath out of her!
Bethany chimed in, “Yeah, we were right there! It was kind of pathetic, don’t you think?”
I couldn’t take it. I pushed myself off the wall, furious and embarrassed. “Just leave me alone!” I shouted, but they continued to laugh, and their voices felt like daggers piercing my confidence.
“Aw, poor Nadia. Do you need a friend you can talk to?” Lara said mockingly. “Don’t worry, I’m here for you. No one will hurt you again,” she added. Her laughter felt like a bullet to my head.
“Maybe you should stick to basketball. Looks like you’re not cut out for class!” Bethany added, and I felt my cheeks burn with anger.
“You don’t know anything about me!” I yelled back, my voice shaky but firm.
“Oh, we know everything we need to know,” Lara said, crossing her arms and smirking. “You’re just a sad little girl who can’t even keep up in class. You can’t keep up with anything. You can’t even keep up with yourself.” Turning to Bethany, she joked even more. “Am I the only one who enjoys the show?”
“You cannot be,” Bethany laughed.
“How entertaining is it?” she asked again. It was now turning into a press conference, and it made me even more angry. I wanted to walk away, but that spot was about the only place I thought I would find solace. And now, they had invaded my space.
“Just so entertaining,” Bethany said, and I couldn’t bear it anymore.
“Let me be! Haven’t you caused me enough pain already!? You’re just a bully,” I spat, my hands balled into fists at my sides.
Lara’s expression suddenly shifted, and she stepped closer to me. “What did you just say? We’re not bullies; you’re just making it easy for us.”
“Whatever,” I snapped back, my heart racing. “Just leave me alone.”
I picked up my bags and walked out, I was too tired to entertain their taunts.