XAVIER’S POV
I pushed through the hospital’s sliding glass doors, a mix of determination and trepidation coursing through my veins. Keith’s lead had brought me here to Los Angeles, to this sterile, impersonal place. I wasn’t even sure why Nicole would be in a hospital. I hoped it’s not what I was thinking.
I approached the reception desk as my eyes scanned the area.
“Hi, I’m looking for Jane Clinton,” I said, trying to sound calm.
The receptionist’s brow furrowed as she replied, “Are you family?”
“I’m…” I hesitated, unsure of what to say. “I’m her husband,” I replied, the lie rolling off my tongue easily. The words just slipped out without me even realizing it. If I can successfully convince her of this lie, then I am fine with it; I just want to see Nicole.
The receptionist nodded, typing on her computer. “Room 314. But please, sir, be aware that Ms. Clinton’s condition is… delicate.”
I nodded, my stomach twisting with worry. Delicate? It only meant, oh God, I hope she is okay.
As I made my way to the elevator, my mind replayed Nicole’s mysterious visit to my duplex. Why had she come? What did she want to tell me? It was now obvious she was ill, but it’s the kind of illness I dreaded.
The elevator doors opened on the third floor, and I followed the signs to room 314, my heart pounding in my chest as I approached the room.
What would Nicole’s reaction be when she saw me? Would she be relieved, indifferent, happy?
I took a deep breath, pushed open the door, and stepped into the room, my eyes scanning the space until they landed on her.
Nicole.
My ex-wife.
My heart swelled with emotion as I took in her frail appearance. She lay in the bed, her skin pale and clammy, her eyes sunken. The machines surrounding her beeped softly, and then it dawned on me. She must have been struck with a serious illness.
Our eyes met, and for a moment, time stood still.
Nicole’s gaze widened, surprise and fear flickering across her face. Then, a faint smile curved her lips, and my heart shattered slightly. I thought she and I would never meet again.
“Xavier,” she whispered, her voice filled with a mix of relief and disbelief as she sat up in the bed. “Xavier, it’s… it’s really you.”
I remained standing across the room, hesitant to go closer, even though a part of me wanted to. I sighed, the memories of her departure flooding back, and I couldn’t make myself take an inch closer.
“Nicole,” I managed to say, taking in the sight of her fragile state. “What happened to you?”
“Hey.” She smiled softly, stretching out her hand towards me. “Come over, please. We have a lot to talk about.”
Tears welled up in her eyes as she spoke; her voice broke, and I felt a faint sting in my heart.
“Why?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. “Why did you come to the duplex? Why did you return?”
Nicole’s gaze drifted away, and I sensed a deep sadness emanating from her. “I came to apologize. I’m sorry,” she whispered as tears freely flowed down her cheek. “I’m so sorry, Xavier; please forgive me.” She choked on her words as sobs tore from her throat.
Her eyes were filled with a mix of regret and longing as she continued, “I shouldn’t have left you… I shouldn’t have blamed you for Damon’s death.”
I looked away, trying to stay composed despite the emotional storm raging inside me. Damon’s name brought back a flood of memories, and I felt a tug in my chest.
“Nicole, don’t,” I whispered, my voice cracking. “You don’t have to apologize. I understand.”
But she shook her head, her sobs intensifying. “No, Xavier, I need to. I was consumed by grief and anger. I blamed you for Damon’s death, but deep down, I knew it wasn’t your fault; it just happened.”
I forced myself to look at her, to meet her tear-filled gaze. “You were hurting, Nicole. You were lost. I understood that.”
Nicole’s eyes pleaded for forgiveness. “But I left you, Xavier. I was so consumed by my own pain that I abandoned the people I love most. And I did it all over… again.”
My composure crumbled, and I stepped forward; before I knew it, I was right beside her. “Nicole, why are you here? What illness has brought you here?” I asked, my voice laced with concern as I forced myself not to pull her into an embrace. I felt a longing of empathy towards her, and I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t just comfort her in my arms like I used to back then.
Nicole sniveled and wiped the tears from her face. Her sobs slowly subsided, replaced by ragged breaths.
Her voice was barely audible, but I heard the words that changed everything: “It’s… cancer, Xavier. I’m dying.”
My world stopped.
Cancer? Dying?
The word echoed in my mind, refusing to sink in.
I pulled back, searching Nicole’s face for any sign of hope, any glimmer of denial. But her eyes, red-rimmed from crying, held only a deep sadness and resignation.
“No,” I whispered, my voice tinged with denial. “No, Nicole. You can’t be.”
Nicole’s hand reached for mine, and I took it, holding on tight.
“I’m sorry, Xavier,” she whispered. “It was because of this I chose to abandon the kids. I’m sorry I had to suddenly throw the burden on you; I even gave you another man’s child…”
My eyes narrowed at her words, immediately remembering what the kids had told me back then about her husband.
“Where’s your husband?” I asked, searching her eyes for answers, but she just looked away, forcing a weak smile.
“I sent him to prison for domestic violence,” she replied, and I could sense the relief in her voice. “He made my life a living hell, and it also made me realize my mistake for leaving you.”
My eyes remained fixed on hers as she spoke. She felt regret, and I felt it too. Perhaps maybe I shouldn’t have let her go that day. I don’t know what I was thinking this way, but I couldn’t help it. I did love her, but she left me, and it stung for years.
“So you had two reasons for sending the kids over to me, but why in a box?” I asked, intrigued, and she just shook her head, as if I couldn’t see an obvious answer.
“He was dangerous, Xavier.” She responded, a stray tear streaming down her cheek. “I had to get the kids away from him.”
So this was what she went through after divorcing me. She really made a terrible mistake. But for her disappearing with my child in her womb made me slightly upset.
Tears streamed down Nicole’s face, but a faint smile touched her lips.
“Thank you, Xavier,” she smiled. “Thank you for forgiving me, for being here.”
Forgiveness was not an issue. Nicole’s well-being, her life, was all that mattered.
“What’s the prognosis?” I asked, trying to stay calm.
Nicole’s eyes dropped, and she took a deep breath.
“The cancer’s advanced. I… I don’t have much time left.”
My heart shattered into a million pieces.
How much time?
Days? Weeks? Months?
I couldn’t lose her, not now that I’d found her. And what about the kids? How will they deal with this?
“We’ll fight this, Nicole,” I assured her. “We’ll find the best treatment. We’ll-”
Nicole’s fingers touched my lips, silencing me. “No, Xavier. It’s too late. I’ve made peace with it.”
Peace?
How could she make peace with leaving our girls behind?