Chapter 14 “She is in my thoughts”

Book:The Badass and The Beta Published:2025-2-8

Jayson P. O. V.
Once they were gone, I thought it was nice to see my dad happy, and I hope she is the one for him. But I hope she doesn’t break his heart. I don’t want to go back there again when my mother destroyed my dad when she left. I shrugged my shoulder, and I walked away from the front door and turned and stopped by the stairs.
So, I ran upstairs, jumped in the shower, got out, went to my room, dropped the towel, and got dressed. Then, I walked over to where my phone was plugged in and saw it was fully charged, and it was.
So, I grabbed it and walked out my bedroom door and downstairs and out the front door, telling my dad I was going out, and I will be back later, and I love him. I didn’t wait for him to reply. I was out the door and ran down the driveway towards my truck, and I opened it, hopped right in, and started it. I pulled out, and I was out driving down the road to Ashely’s house.
Once I pulled up to Ashely’s house, I turned off the engine, and I sat there and watched for her to sneak out and come to my truck. So, I waited for her to come out. Then I had second thoughts because I couldn’t stop thinking about the time, she hurt me. I wanted to go. I had my hand on top of the keys, and I was about to start it. But, oh, God, why am I not driving away from her house?
I know maybe you are curious what it be like to be with Ashely Williams again? You were making out with her just a couple of hours ago. My inner voice said.
“Fuck!” I say, and I punch the steering wheel.
I must be stupid. Why am I here? I should drive off and ignore her for a couple of days.
But before I decided to leave and drive away from her.
I wanted to go back where I would tease and bully her.
Because it was easier to see her like I don’t give a fuck about her attitude. I played it off for a while now. But, finally, I am starting to lose my fake hatred for her.
I know I shouldn’t care for her. But what if…
No! she is just like her. That was when I closed my eyes, and I curled my fist into my hands. After that, I want to forget about what happened. I opened my eyes when I heard it when I thought about my mom and Ashely.
What if she didn’t kiss him? Like she said that day when I walked up to her at her locker when I asked her out. That was when I caught Ash and him kissing?
Now I am thinking about it? I knew now what I did back then. Would I ask her out if she wasn’t already dating Robert?
That was when I had the answer I asked in my question.
Would I? Well, I will never know now. It’s too late for us. We have too much hate for each people.
Remember what she did to you?
I kept hearing my inner voice, making me feel like nothing and worthless.
You’re pathetic!
You’re a loser!
No one loves you!
No, one will love a damaged mistake!
No, stop it! I am not going to listen to my negative thoughts.
That’s what she would tell me!
Please don’t go there, Jayson, don’t listen to her. She is not here.
She is not here to hurt your dad and you. I heard Jaze say.
Don’t you’re not going back there when she would tell you things when she was drunk and high?
She doesn’t want or need you!
She never loved you,
Stop it! I was holding onto my head, trying to stop the negative thoughts in my head. But the pain was not going away.
I can feel the pressure building up, and it’s getting tight and tighter inside my head.
Calm down, and she’s not here. Your mother can’t hurt you anymore. So, I kept hearing Jaze say inside my mind.
After a while, I started listening to nothing. It felt calm and quiet. But then I thought about Ashely’s sweet laugh and smile.
I could not help it. I need her to see me and listen to me.
I hate that I hurt her. But she broke me first.
So, ever since she did that to me. I have been rude and cruel to my childhood friend and childhood love.
Should I stay, or should I go now! I kept repeating inside my head. I look around. I saw no movements, and I didn’t think she was coming.
Before I finished that thought, I heard my truck door open on the passenger side.
Hey! sorry I am late. She said with a sweet smile. I bite my lip for not attack her and bend over the seat, and thrust inside her tight little puss-
No! stop that. That was when I shook my dirty thoughts out of my head.
” Look, Jayson; today was a mistake. We can’t do that again. I am so sorry I didn’t stop you sooner, but we can’t be doing that anymore!” I heard Ashely say. I heard a small, tiny voice say, but I ignored it. Because that is how I am, and I will treat you like shit and not talk to you.
Yeah, it’s going to be hard to find my mate.
Hmm, that’s funny; I have been looking for her all this week. But right now. I feel like we are close, like sitting right beside each other.
Jayson? I heard the small, tiny voice again. Then it got louder.
Jayson! I looked up, and I thought I heard Ashely say. But instead, I saw her sitting in the seat, staring down.
Wait a minute. Did she speak? Usually, she doesn’t talk well, but not to me. Instead, she would scream and bark at me with her loud, angry voice.
But right now, she was acting weird.
When she told me it was a mistake, I felt my heart breaking all over again.
So, I did something I would never do. That was when I started opening up my mouth. Then I let out a growl.
That was when I wasn’t going to let her beat me down with the hurtful words I felt in my chest. I felt my heart shattered into millions of pieces.
No! Don’t show her she got to you, and don’t show her weakness ever again.
So, that was when I had an idea that would make her regret those words, she said to me.
So, I chuckled inside my head. I call it sneak peek hate and love.
Yes, I still hate her, and I knew she was mine. Even though when we were little, I called dibs on here from my fellas. They know not to cross me and try to go after the most beautiful girl I called is mine! So, no guy is allowed to be near her without me.
“Hello? say something?” I heard her tiny voice trying to be all bad when she will fight.
But right nowhere. She felt more like a girl than some guy to date better than better.
But I wanted to see this money. But I thought this was an unsolved mystery and much more. She loves crime shows.
woman.
Ashely has always been innocent but there is something different about her.
New hair cut?
No, a new purse?
No, no, I see it now.
She was about to speak when I beat her to it.
So, I spoke back, and I started speaking…