As we step into Logan’s house, the warmth inside feels both comforting and suffocating at the same time. I can sense Logan watching me, his concern is palpable, as though he’s waiting for me to decide if I’m ready for this. Am I ready to move back into his life, into this space that feels both familiar and strange?
“Something wrong?” he asks softly, noticing the slight hesitation in my step.
I shake my head, trying to push away the uncertainty. He helps me out of the car, but my mind is elsewhere, fixated on seeing Shawn again.
The moment we walk inside, Kayla comes rushing toward me, her face streaked with tears. “Nadine!” she cries, wrapping her arms around me in a tight embrace.
I wince, still sore from everything that’s happened. She pulls back immediately, eyes wide with worry. “Oh my God, I’m sorry! I’ve missed you so damn much.”
I manage a weak smile, my emotions swirling. “I’m fine now, Kayla. I’m back.” I say as if I’m trying to convince myself just as much as her.
“You have no idea how worried we’ve been,” Kayla says, laughing through a sniffle, her voice shaky.
I can barely speak, my voice coming out in a whisper. “Where’s Shawn?”
Logan steps in. “He’s waiting for you. I’ll take you to him.”
As we move further into the house, Logan walks beside me, his hand resting lightly on my back, while his men follow with my bags. The house feels alive, yet calm as if it’s been waiting for my return. That’s when I saw her-an elderly woman standing near the entrance with a kind smile.
“You must be Rosa,” I say, already sensing her gentle presence.
“Welcome home, Nadine. It’s so good to finally meet Shawn’s wonderful mom,” she says, with kindness in her eyes.
“Thank you for looking after him,” I reply, genuinely grateful. “I appreciate everything you’ve done.”
I glance around, my eyes scanning the room for any sign of Shawn. Rosa catches my gaze and smiles, reassuring me. “He’s asleep, dear. He’s been waiting for you, though. He’ll be thrilled when he wakes up.”
I nod, thanking Rosa, and make my way to the living room. As soon as I step inside, I’m greeted by balloons and streamers, a big “Welcome Home” banner draped across the ceiling. A smile spreads across my face at the sight of it. Their thoughtfulness tugs at my heart in ways I can’t quite put into words.
I sink into the couch, feeling the warmth of the room surrounding me, when I hear a small voice calling out from somewhere down the hall. “Ma’am!” It’s Shawn. My heart skips a beat. He’s calling for Rosa, as usual.
“In here, sweetie,” Rosa calls back, smiling knowingly. “Okay, I’m coming.”
Before she can move, Shawn’s attention shifts. His eyes land on Logan, and a wide grin spreads across his face. “Hey, best buddy!” he yells excitedly.
Logan scoops him up with ease, and Shawn bursts into giggles. “Put me down! I’m a big boy now!” he protests, wriggling in Logan’s arms.
I chuckle softly. “Big boy, indeed.”
But then Shawn stops laughing, his expression growing serious as his eyes dart around the room. “Is that… Mum?” he asks.
Logan smiles warmly. “See for yourself, buddy.”
Shawn slips out of Logan’s grasp and rushes towards me. For a moment, he freezes, as if he’s unsure what to do next. My heart swells, aching and full at the same time, watching his hesitation.
“Mum… it’s my mum!” Shawn exclaims, his voice bursting with joy.
In an instant, he throws himself into my arms, his little hands cupping my cheeks, his bright eyes shining. “Mum, I’ve missed you so much!”
Tears spill from my eyes as I hold him close, feeling the warmth of his tiny body, and the thud of his heartbeat against mine. It feels like no time has passed at all, and in this moment, everything else fades away.
“I’ve missed you too, baby,” I whisper, my voice shaking.
Shawn snuggles deeper into my arms, his face buried in my neck. I feel whole again.
I ruffle Shawn’s hair, feeling a deep connection to my little boy. “I miss you too, my boy,” I say, hugging him tightly.
Shawn pulls back, beaming with pride. “Best buddy, you brought my mum home! Thank you so much!”
Logan smiles, his eyes warm with affection. “You’re welcome, so.. buddy,” he says, catching himself just in time. I shot him a sharp glance, grateful he didn’t slip up and call Shawn his son.
Logan gives me an apologetic look, understanding my warning. I know he’s itching to call Shawn his son, but I need to take things slowly. I won’t rush my boy into anything he’s not ready for.
****
It’s been weeks, and my recovery has been surprisingly smooth. I still go for check-ups now and then, but Logan has been a constant support. Whenever we take family walks, I can practically see the joy radiating from him, even with his ever-present bodyguards trailing behind.
But the nightmares won’t let me rest. They’re vivid, and terrifying, as if I’m reliving the shooting over and over. Each time, it’s the same scene, but tonight, it’s different. Syd is there, her eyes wide open, though I know she’s dead. She’s walking toward me like she’s determined to finish what she couldn’t before.
I scream, the sound tearing from my throat. Logan bursts into the room, and I’m left panting, staring blankly at nothing. His worried eyes lock on mine.
I’m still shaking, trying to catch my breath. My heart pounds so loudly I swear he can hear it. Logan kneels beside the bed, his hands gently brushing my hair from my face, his voice low and soothing.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay. I’m here. You’re safe.”
But I can’t shake the image of Syd’s lifeless eyes, the coldness in her stare. It felt so real, like she was there, inches away from me. I swallow hard, my throat dry.
“I saw her, Logan,” I whisper, my voice barely audible. “Syd… she was… coming for me.”
His jaw tightens, but he doesn’t look away. “It’s just a dream,” he says softly, though I can see the tension in his eyes. He knows as well as I do that the past doesn’t always stay in the past.
Logan pulls me into his arms, and I feel the warmth of his skin against mine. For a moment, the nightmare fades, replaced by the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.
“You’re safe,” he repeats, and for now, I want to believe him.
I glance up at him and finally notice he’s only in his boxer briefs. My hormones flare, a wave of desire crashing over me, urging me to close the distance between us. But I push the thought aside as he wraps me in a hug. I cling to him like he’s the only thing keeping me grounded.
There’s been this tension between us for weeks now. I know he feels it too, but he’s been careful, and gentle, trying not to push me too fast.
His concern for me brought him rushing in, barely aware that he was half-dressed. Are you okay?” he asks, his voice soft.
I rest my head against his chest, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath my cheek, and murmur, “I’m fine.”
But as his touch lingers, something deeper stirs. Sparks of emotion ripple through me, tightening my chest, and making it hard to breathe. I start to pull away, but he holds me gently, not letting go. Then, he lowers his lips to my forehead, planting a soft, lingering kiss that sends a rush of warmth straight through me.
“Don’t you think you should see a therapist? I can book an appointment for you,” Logan says, his voice soft but steady, his concern evident. “It might help with the nightmares.”
“Thank you,” I murmur, just as he plants another gentle kiss on my forehead. His lips linger for a moment, and I can’t help but feel how tender this is-yet it’s also the furthest our intimacy has gone so far. And as much as part of me craves more, I’m not ready to cross that line with Logan. Not yet.
When the time is right, I’ll move back to my apartment, and we can focus on co-parenting Shawn. That’s the plan, at least. For now, the lines are blurred.
“I’d like to sleep,” I say, pulling back, though the warmth of his body makes it hard. His closeness is doing things to me-my body reacts before I can stop it. My thoughts are scattered, and I know exactly what I want, but I’m not ready to admit it.
“Okay,” he says quietly, stepping back to give me space. The distance tugs at my heart, a sharp ache I wasn’t expecting. But it’s for the best. At least, that’s what I keep telling myself.
“What do you want, Nadine?” a voice inside me chides, sharp and demanding. But deep down, I know the answer. I just want a night of good, no-strings-attached sex. Yet, with Logan, it’s never that simple. He wants more-something deeper, something real.
As he turns to leave, my eyes trail over his body, taking in every inch of him. How can I let this perfect, delicious man just walk away? Every part of me screams to pull him back, to feel him close.
Before I can stop myself, the words slip out. “Please stay.”