“Are we talking about my temper,” Kit said, plopping down in the chair next to me at the table making me immediately feel lighter. I took her hand, gave it a squeeze and put it up to my lips to give it a kiss. She giggled. Meg made a face that indicated she was probably going to need another drink.
“Meg has concerns we’re about to go all ‘Natural Born Killers’ at Disney,” I said. She gave me a puzzled look.
“It’s a movie. Before your time,” I said. She shrugged. Once again I made a mental note to encourage her to watch some of the movies that didn’t involve superheroes, science fiction, or wizards. Oh, and that wasn’t animated.
“We’ll be fine. Ben’s in charge of getting us there and I’m in charge once we get there. I’ve got everything planned out. It’s all good. Unless someone says something bad about my man, then I get all Wolverine on their ass,” Kit said, making some kind adorable gestures with her hands, indicating claws popping or something.
I turned my head away and covered my mouth so she couldn’t see me smirking. Meg just shook her head.
“Just remember, I’m not licenced to practice law in the States if you get in trouble. And they have the death penalty there,” Meg said.
“Disney has the death penalty?” Kit said, with big, wide-eyed seriousness that I was getting used to but for which Meg had no defence. I could tell she was wondering if Kit was serious right until she started cracking up. I joined her. It was apparently the final straw.
“I hate your nauseating geek love. I need a drink,” she said, getting up from the table and heading towards the bar.
I looked at Kit and shook my head.
“You are an evil little girl,” I said.
She leaned towards me, smiled, and said quietly. “Yes, but I’m *your* evil little girl, Daddy. Too bad we’re staying at Meg’s tonight or I’d show you how evil.”
“Maybe you can be quietly evil,” I replied. She looked doubtful.
“So how was talking with my friends and former co-workers?” I asked.
“I’m considering switching out of design and becoming an infrastructure policy analyst. It’s a deeply fascinating subject and I’ve become smitten,” she said, nodding her head in an attempt at being serious.
I was not fooled for two seconds. No one is eager to become an infrastructure policy analyst. It’s one of those things where you wake up one day, look around and think, “how the fuck did this happen?”
All of which I summed by responding, “Uh huh. Really?”
“Well, maybe not,” she said, seeing I wasn’t going to go for the bait. “Mostly it was about how we met and if it’s true I was arrested after punching Marie in the face.”
That got my attention. I knew things had been too quiet on that front. I could feel the urge to grab Meg, drive to Matt’s house, and show him what assault and battery really looked like. Kit could see I was getting agitated and put her hand on mine.
“Relax, no one believes it for a second. They didn’t believe it when she just happened to pop by the office to loudly say it in the office, and they really didn’t believe it after meeting me. Most of them are already looking for other jobs, by the way.”
I sighed. “I said she was trouble.”
She leaned over and kissed me on the nose. “I believe a wise Daddy told me to ignore people like that and just focus on being happy.”
“He sounds like a clever bastard,” I said.
“He’s got his moments,” she said, and then took a sip from her ginger ale. “So, what do you want to do next to drive Meg nuts?”
“I thought you were warming up to her?”
She nodded her head. “Oh, I am. But she’s so easy and fun to tease. And honestly, I think she could use some. She’s wound too tight.”
“Whose wound too tight?” Meg said, magically reappearing. I’d forgotten how easy it was to surprise people in this place.
“Oh, Marie,” Kit said, lying with an ease that should be a little worrying to me. Before Meg could warm up to the subject, Kit hit her with the jab. “Sooooo, we were wondering… just how soundproof are the rooms in your condo?”
I swear I could see a new strand of grey hairs spontaneously develop on her head. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
“So how long is the karmic punishment for being a bitch to you after I caught you parading around naked at his house?”
Kit grinned.
“Half naked,” she corrected. “And long.”
****
(Disney – Spring Break)
Once we got inside the park I became concerned Kitten’s face might be permanently locked into some kind of Joker grin. She couldn’t stop smiling, absorbing all the Disney she could. However, I could tell Main Street was torturing her. All those shops, with so much Disney stuff she couldn’t buy.
Going into the shops violated her plan, which was to hit a bunch of rides before 11 am, which is when the crowds were supposed to surge. So no time for shopping. But that wasn’t the only reason why Main Street was torturing her. Even if we had the time, she couldn’t buy it all. And I wasn’t allowed to buy it for her.
It was part of The Deal. She couldn’t say no to a trip to Disney. She didn’t have that much willpower. But she was adamant I wasn’t spending anymore money on her once we got there. That meant I wasn’t allowed to buy her anything. Even last night, after we hit the hotel, I was still trying to change her mind. I figured once she saw the reality up close, she might ease up.
It was a longshot and she wasn’t going for it.
“Kitten,” I said, trying to warm her up, “I’m not sure you really know what you’re taking on by saying that. Disney is designed to make you want to spend money. They hired people with doctorates to design a park that makes you want to joyfully part with your money. You are subjecting yourself to a hefty level of torture.”
She continued to unpack, ignoring me.
“We’ve been through this, Daddy.”
“Princess…”
She turned around and put her hands on her hips. Yes, it was her Serious Little Girl look, but it was honestly so adorable it was all I could do to keep a straight look on my face.
“Daddy, are you going to tell me how much you spent on all of this?” she asked, knowing the answer.
“You don’t tell someone how much their gift cost, Kit. It’s pretty tacky.”
“Ok, but I know roughly how much you spent on this and it was thousands, Daddy. Thousands. No one has ever spent that kind of money on me before and it blows my mind you would do this for me,” she said.
“But…” I started. She held out a hand.
“Nope. I’m thrilled that I’m here and I love you for doing this. But I’ve saved up money over the last couple of weeks and I have enough to get a few nice things while I’m here. Plus, I’ve done comic cons. I do have some will power. I’ll be fine,” she said, ending the discussion.
And now we were walking down Main Street and I could tell her will power was taking a beating. Sure, you can resist things at a comic con. You can go to areas of the con where they aren’t trying to sell you things. Disney is designed to make you buy things everywhere you look. Go to Disney… see how long you last before your childhood starts screaming in your brain to buy all the things. Good luck resisting it.
“How are you holding up, Kitten?” I asked, as we continued down the street. Her head kept swivelling around.
“You… weren’t wrong about it being hard to resist stuff,” she admitted.
It seemed inappropriate to gloat. I had an idea of how to help, but I was going to mention it to her later. For right now, I got her mind back on task.
“So, where to first, my Kitten?” I asked. We were getting near the end of Main Street, so a decision had to be made soon.
She shook her head and looked up at me.
“Pirates!” she said with glee. We hung a left and headed in that direction.
The next few hours were a lot of fun. Disney can be fun if you just relax and don’t stress out. Kitten must have read that somewhere, because that’s exactly what we did. We didn’t beat it from ride to ride, trying to frantically cram in as much as we could. We would do a couple of rides, take a slow stroll over the next Disney section, moving in a clockwise fashion. Kitten would consult her phone and then say she wanted to take a break in some shade, or hint that something cool to drink would be nice.
I didn’t ask, but I could tell she was moving at a slower pace so as not to hurt my knee. We were ambling slowly around the park. Her need for breaks and shade were all designed to make sure I didn’t strain my knee. I smiled as she went over to one of the waterways and waved at people going by on a boat. Her joy was infectious.
Just before noon, we finished the Haunted Mansion and she then called for mercy, which meant food, shade, and air conditioning. We managed to find a spot and enjoy the quality, reasonably priced food that Disney is known for. She took off her hat, and ran her hands through her hair.
“Blah, I’m a sweat spot,” she moaned. “I knew it would be hot, but gah.”
I took a pull on my water. I learned a long time ago not to drink soda in this kind of heat. It was creeping over 30C and it probably had another five degrees to go before it peaked. The humidity also felt like it was about 110%.
“I know. What kind of lunatic builds a theme park in a marsh in Florida?” I said.