SEBASTIAN’S POV
I took a deep breath, leaning back on the couch, my fingers idly tracing the seam of my slacks. Sasha sat across from me, her arms folded protectively across her chest.
Her expression was unreadable, but the tension in her posture told me she was still struggling to process everything I’d already told her. This wasn’t how I’d wanted the evening to go, but she deserved the truth-every piece of it.
“I never meant for any of it to happen, Sasha,” I began quietly, my voice heavier than I intended. “But you need to know the full story.”
Her lips pressed together, her eyes locking with mine. “Then tell me. No more skirting around it, Sebastian.”
I nodded. “When I was younger, there was a girl I was close to. We grew up together-our families were friends, and she… Well, she was like a sister to me at first.” My voice softened. “Her name was Eliza.”
Sasha’s brow furrowed slightly, but she didn’t interrupt.
“Eliza was sick. She had a heart condition, one that was growing worse as we got older. Her father-he was a hard man, controlling in every sense of the word.”
“He believed the only way to secure her future was through an arranged marriage. The man he’d chosen was twice her age and… let’s just say he wasn’t the kind of man who cared about her well-being.”
I paused, glancing at Sasha to gauge her reaction. Her expression remained steady, but there was a flicker of something in her eyes-pity, perhaps, or understanding.
“Eliza came to me for help,” I continued. “She didn’t want to marry him. She was terrified, and she trusted me. So, I promised her I’d find a way to get her out of it.”
Sasha’s voice was quiet but firm. “And did you?”
“Yes. But not in the way I wanted to.” I ran a hand through my hair, exhaling sharply.
“Her father wouldn’t budge. He made it clear that the only way he’d relent was if there was another engagement-a better one, in his eyes. And I… I offered myself.”
Sasha’s eyes widened slightly, but she quickly masked her surprise. “You got engaged to her.”
“It wasn’t real,” I said quickly, leaning forward.
“It was just on paper. Her father needed to believe it was legitimate, but it was nothing more than a way to keep her safe.”
Her gaze narrowed. “Your father said you were married.”
I shook my head. “My father didn’t know the full story, and he’s always had a flair for exaggeration. Eliza and I were never married. I made sure of that.”
Sasha’s shoulders relaxed slightly, but her eyes stayed on me, searching for any sign of deceit. “Why didn’t you tell me about this before?”
“Because it didn’t feel relevant,” I admitted. “It was years ago, Sasha. I didn’t think it would come back to haunt me.”
Her lips tightened, but she nodded for me to continue.
“There’s more,” I said, my voice dropping. “After the engagement, Eliza told me about a potential cure for her condition-a medicine that wasn’t widely available at the time.”
“She was desperate, and I… I couldn’t say no to her. She was like family to me.”
Sasha’s eyes narrowed again. “What did you do?”
I hesitated, my stomach twisting as the memories surfaced. “The medicine wasn’t something we could just buy from a pharmacy. It was in the hands of a woman who… let’s just say she had her own methods of negotiation.”
Her eyes darkened. “What do you mean?”
“She agreed to give me the medicine,” I said slowly, the words burning in my throat, “but only under one condition.”
Sasha’s hands clenched into fists, her knuckles turning white. “What condition?”
I closed my eyes for a moment, willing myself to say the words. “She wanted me to… to sleep with her. She wouldn’t hand over the medicine unless I agreed.”
The silence that followed was deafening. When I finally opened my eyes, Sasha was staring at me, her expression a mixture of shock and disbelief.
“You agreed to that?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
“I didn’t see another way,” I said, my voice breaking. “Eliza’s life was on the line. She was running out of time, and I couldn’t stand by and do nothing.”
Sasha looked away, her jaw tight. “So, you sold yourself to save her.”
“It wasn’t like that,” I said quickly. “I didn’t do it for myself. I did it for Eliza. I didn’t care what it cost me-I just wanted to save her.”
“But at what cost to us?” she asked, her voice trembling. “Sebastian, how could you not tell me this before? How could you let me hear about it from someone else?”
“I didn’t think it mattered anymore,” I said honestly. “It was a mistake, Sasha, one I’ve regretted every day since it happened. But it’s in the past.”
She shook her head, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “The past has a way of catching up with you, Sebastian. You can’t just bury it and hope it stays hidden.”
“I know,” I said softly. “That’s why I’m telling you now. I need you to understand-everything I did, I did because I thought it was the right thing to do.”
“But it wasn’t just about Eliza,” she said, her voice breaking.
“It was about you. You made a choice, Sebastian. And now I’m the one who has to live with it.”
I stood, crossing the room to kneel in front of her. “Sasha, please. I’m not that man anymore. I’ve made mistakes, yes, but everything I’ve done since meeting you has been for us. For you.”
She looked down at me, her expression unreadable. “I don’t know if I can believe that right now.”
My heart sank, but I nodded. “I understand. Take all the time you need. Just… don’t shut me out completely. Please.”
Sasha didn’t respond immediately. When she finally spoke, her voice was barely audible. “I need some space, Sebastian.”
I stood slowly, giving her a small nod. “I’ll give you as much as you need. But know this-I love you, Sasha. And I’ll do whatever it takes to earn your trust again.”
With that, I turned and walked away, leaving her alone with her thoughts. I didn’t know what the future held, but one thing was certain: I wasn’t giving up on us. Not now. Not ever.