Everything had changed. Without Ivan, nothing was the same.
The sky, once blue, had turned into a gray canvas. The colors that had once adorned it were no longer a rainbow, but rather gray streaks of pain.
There was no longer the warmth promised by sunlight. Everything felt the same every day-empty.
Even the moon, which had always been soothing, had lost its charm. Its once beautiful light seemed pale, as if trapped in an eternity of faint shadows.
The breeze felt hollow. The ground was no longer firm, like a fragile foundation that could collapse at any moment.
There were no more bursts of laughter. Everything had been replaced by silence. Every corner that had once witnessed the happiness of two souls had become mute in its helplessness.
Fate had decreed. An invisible distance had been created, limiting the space and time that could do anything. The only thing left was a space of longing that willingly inflicted its torment every day.
Second by second, time passed in a silence that felt deeper and deeper. No sound could penetrate it. No moans. No sobs. Everything felt silent when there was a feeling trapped within it-a longing that could not be extinguished, but could not be expressed.
Rowena was tormented. Deeply tormented, and only God knew how the days passed as if they were endless torture for her. Morning came only to remind her of the dry afternoon without Ivan. Then the evening came to mock her, for the night would bring only darkness without Ivan’s presence.
It was truly painful. Rowena’s heart felt hollow, and she was sucked into it, spinning in an endless void. Each attempt to escape only made her sink deeper, with no way back.
This emptiness consumed all of Rowena’s feelings, leaving wounds that were invisible but felt so real. Inside, there were no holds, no direction, just an empty space that haunted every inch of her life.
Rowena tried to hold on. Don’t say she didn’t try. But it was not so easy for her to fight the darkness that had crept into her heart.
Every step Rowena took felt heavy, her legs seemed bound by invisible chains that pulled her back into the abyss of despair. No matter how hard she struggled to rise, the shadows of the past continued to haunt her, never letting her go and blocking every hope she tried to build.
Rowena suffered. Life was indeed so difficult without Ivan by her side. She wanted to give up. She was completely exhausted. The pain was overwhelming and she was sure she couldn’t take it much longer.
Rowena’s hope had been eroded over time. The pain that often gripped her heart left her increasingly powerless, and eventually her vision had gone completely dark. She could not see a glimmer of light. She was adrift in the confines of fate.
Now everything seemed pointless to Rowena. Besides, she had tried to find meaning in Ivan’s departure and found nothing. Ideally, she could cling to the wisdom the universe had taught her. But it was the same. Reflection only increased her sense of loss. So, she was trapped between a past that couldn’t be relived and a present that was empty. Her life truly lacked meaning.
Rowena walked, but she didn’t know where to go. Her gaze was vacant. Her face was hollow, betraying no emotion. She was completely lost.
“Rowena!”
Rowena blinked once and continued walking.
“Rowena! Where are you? Please come out!”
Rowena did not respond. The voice calling her name sounded like a distant echo that could not penetrate the thick fog that enveloped her mind.
“Rowena! I know you’re here. So please. Come out.”
Footsteps could be heard around Rowena. Still, she did not react at all, the magical barrier protecting her from anyone’s sight, including Ayla’s.
“Please, Rowena. Come out and meet me. You are not alone. I am here.”
Ayla’s plea, spoken with deep anguish, couldn’t reach Rowena’s heart. All of Ayla’s words seemed like meaningless whispers to her. Rowena walked on, like someone lost in a storm-carried by invisible currents, drifting in an endless sea of grief.
All paths were closed. All options were blocked. There was only a sheer cliff in front of Rowena.
Rowena closed her eyes with a wry thought. The world had lost its rainbow. There were no more colorful flowers. The only thing left was the darkness that tormented her soul.
There was nothing left. Rowena had no reason to hold on any longer. Even her plea for fate to give her a second chance was something impossible. So, she wouldn’t prolong her suffering. She would end it as soon as possible, end it right now.
Rowena took a deep breath, believing it would be her last. One foot kicked forward, floating in the air, ready to be followed by the other.
Suddenly, at the perfect moment, a hand grabbed Rowena’s wrist. The person pulled Rowena with all their strength. Rowena’s body was thrown and landed on the ground. She was saved from death.
Rowena moaned as the pain hit her body. But it was nothing compared to her shock that someone had bypassed her magical barrier and saved her from attempting suicide.
Confusion spread through Rowena’s mind. Her instincts were on alert. She turned to look at the woman. “Who-”
“What are you doing?! Do you want to die?! Do you think Ivan would be happy to see you commit suicide?!”
Rowena was stunned. She froze in the midst of a barrage of questions she wasn’t prepared to answer and felt a hard slap that shook her. Ivan’s name shattered every layer of her fragile defenses. The once-empty look in her eyes began to fill with fragments of restrained awareness. Yet she remained silent, unable to speak. Her voice caught in her throat, as if choked by the weight of the reality she had to bear alone.
“You shouldn’t be making this decision! You don’t-”
Rowena wailed, “I don’t want to die either! I don’t want to commit suicide! But do you know what it feels like to experience the loss I’m going through?”
*