My mum and I went to her room at the hotel
We were now alone and her face looked like she was about to tear up. I was worried.
“You wanted to talk.” I spoke gently studying her expression further.
“Yes….” She said smiling weakly and reaching out to hold my hand.
“Mum whats wrong?”
“Is he treating you right?” She asked taking me aback. I stared at her for a moment as if trying to get where she was heading to.
“Yes, very well mum.” I said but it didn’t seem to comfort her. She squeezes my hands then bites her lips while trying to suppress her tears.
“I’m so sorry Thea… I’m so sorry my baby.” She cried with tears spilling from her eyes. It stung my heart and I got a bit teary too. “I’m so sorry that I couldn’t do anything to rescue you when you needed me the most.” She said. I lifted a finger to wipe the tear off her face.
“Don’t beat yourself too much about it mum. I’m happy now.” I said assuring her but her face changes to hurt. She leaves my hands as if in denial.
“No, Thea. You’re not happy. You’re either pretending to be happy or you’re just scared to expose Angel.”
“Mum….” I called. “Look at me well and tell yourself the truth. Do I look like someone who is hurting? Did you watch us secretly? Cause I bet you did. Then you would have seen just how lovestruck Angel and I are with each other.”
“You’re just confused Thea.” She said but I knew she didn’t believe that herself.
“You know I’m not. You’re hoping that I am.”
“I can’t believe it. I can’t accept it Thea. You can’t be in love with the man that stole your life.” She said airing her frustration. I hated seeing my mum like this. To see her hurt and desperate to change things but their was nothing she could do now because I was already in love with Angel.
“He saved me mum, even though it were for the wrong reasons. I wouldn’t be here with you if he haden’t….” I trailed off. I didn’t want to remind her of it, of the fact that Angel bought me. It wouldn’t matter either way because mind was made up.
“This is all my fault. I loved you so much as my only child that I didn’t want to push you away by being strict. I was foolish, I thought letting you do the things you wanted was loving you but instead I let you wander the wrong part. Forgive me Thea….” She said holding my hands again. “I was a terrible mother but I can’t let you wander this part now that I know better.”
“I’m an adult mum. I get to decide what I want.” She released my hand and this time it seemed final. She was back to being angry.
“Do you even know how hurt I was? Did you even realize that I almost died thinking that I lost you?”
Tears formed in my eyes knowing it was true. She just wanted Angel to pay for all the pains he caused her.
“I don’t know what to say but I’m a terrible daughter as well. I can’t get rid of what I feel for Angel, I just can’t.”
“You won’t be able to do that if you see him everyday.” She said and I squinted in confusion.
“What do you mean by that?” I asked.
“Thea what I’m trying to say is… I can’t let you be with him, not until you prove me wrong about him. I’m never going to be able to accept your relationship until I’m able to forgive him.” She said firmly. ” This is unfair to me Thea. I’ve survived one year without you, don’t you care about my bleeding heart?”
Now I felt guilty as she threw the question at me.
“Of course I do.” I whispered.
“Then you should make up for it.”
“How?”
“I want to take back what Angel took from me.” A gasp left my throat. What was she trying to insinuate?
“What are you suggesting?” I asked, scared of her answer.
“I want you to return to me and spend the same time you spent with him.”
“What? No!” I strongly countered. “I’m not leaving Angel mum. I could visit but I just…. I’ve been through so much mum. This is the one time I get to be with him and have him to myself without being worried about anything.” I poured my heart to her but she looked at me in disbelieve. She wouldn’t understand. I had suffered from the day I had sex with Angel in the hands of Natalia and the other girls then I shot Michael and was punished for it before I was sold to Angel. I had my own share of suffering under him and right now I just wanted to be happy.
“How could you say that to my face?” My mum said looking spiteful.
“You won’t understand.”
“Make me understand then.”
“I just can’t leave Angel. I have a life there.”
“And you didn’t have a life when you were with me?”
“I have a more meaningful life now. As bitter as it may sound. I have a family too. You’ll always be my mum and I’ll always love you dearly but I love my life now.” I said in one breath, panting heavily by the time I was done.
“You didn’t just say that.” She said in disbelieve. The words obviously came out wrongly but I couldn’t have explained it better. I hated that I hurt even more. She didn’t deserve this and I didn’t deserve her as my mother.
“I promised everyone that I was going to return and I intend on keeping that promise. I’m so sorry mum.”
“Leave.” Louisa said not letting me finish.
“Mum….”
“Leave Thea!” She yelled. If you really want to be with him then leave.” I hesitate but seeing she was being serious, I make the step, my heart heavy with guilt. My mind was already made up. As I approached the door I heard my mum’s voice and I stopped.
“… But if you leave, I want you to drop every memory you have with me because the moment you leave that door, I swear to you Thea, I’ll seize being your mother and you seize being my daughter.” Her tone was final, laced with the pain of betrayal. I betrayed her but somehow I hoped she wasn’t being serious. I turned to look at her.
“You can’t be serious.” She didn’t say anything, her expression was louder than words. She hated Angel, I could see it. She hated him enough to disown her daughter.
I loved Angel but how could I let my mum disown me?