Ashley’s POV
I drove through the night with tears streaming down my face, the blurry lights of the city passing by in a haze. My hands were shaking on the steering wheel, and my thoughts were spinning wildly.
It wasn’t supposed to feel like this, not now, not when I should be happy, excited even. But all I could feel was this overwhelming dread, like a wave ready to crash down on me.
When I reached the palace, the familiar structure loomed ahead, quiet and imposing against the dark sky. I had no idea what I was doing here so late, but the need to escape had driven me, and this was the only place that felt safe.
As I pulled up to the entrance, I saw Pandora standing there, waiting, as if she’d known I was coming.
“How did you know?” I whispered, stepping out of the car, still sniffling as I wiped the tears from my eyes.
“Caleb called me,” Pandora said gently, walking toward me. “He said you weren’t okay, and he was worried.”
That’s when the dam broke again. The tears I thought I’d left behind on the drive rushed back, and I felt myself crumble right there on the steps of the palace.
“I’m not okay,” I choked out, sobbing uncontrollably. “Pandora, I don’t know what to do.”
She didn’t say anything, just pulled me into a tight embrace, letting me cry into her shoulder. For a moment, it felt like I could let go like I didn’t have to hold it all together. The weight was still there, pressing down on me, refusing to lift.
“Come on,” Pandora whispered, gently guiding me inside. “Let’s go up to my room, and you can tell me everything.”
We climbed the stairs to her private chambers, and once inside, Pandora sat me down on a plush sofa and handed me a cup of tea. The warmth of the cup in my hands felt grounding, but the whirlwind in my mind continued to rage.
“I just… I need to vent,” I started, my voice trembling as I stared down at the tea, not yet able to meet her eyes. “I need to get this all out before it consumes me.”
“Of course,” Pandora encouraged me softly, sitting beside me, her eyes full of concern. “Take your time.”
I took a shaky breath and finally began. “I’ve always been scared of pregnancy… and marriage. I’ve had these fears for as long as I can remember, but now they’re real, and I don’t know how to deal with them.”
My voice cracked as I spoke, the tears threatening to fall again. “I feel like I’m suffocating under the weight of it all. I love Caleb, I do, but I feel like I’m not ready for any of this. The wedding, the baby… I’m so afraid that I’ll ruin everything.”
Pandora listened quietly, her gaze steady and calm. “It’s okay to feel like that, Ashley,” she said after a moment. “It’s a huge change, and anyone in your position would be overwhelmed. You’re not alone in this.”
I shook my head, feeling the frustration bubble up again. “But it’s not just that. I feel like I’m getting cold feet like I might walk out on Caleb. Not because I don’t love him, but because I’m not ready for any of this. I never imagined it happening like this, and now I feel trapped.”
Pandora placed a comforting hand on mine. “You’re not trapped. You’re just scared, and that’s perfectly normal. You have to talk to Caleb about this. He deserves to know how you’re feeling.”
I bit my lip, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill over again. “What if he doesn’t understand? What if he thinks I don’t love him enough or that I’m trying to pull away? I can’t handle losing him, Pandora. I can’t.”
“You won’t lose him,” she assured me, her voice calm but firm. “Caleb loves you. And if he’s the man you believe him to be, he’ll want to know what’s going on inside your heart. You need to trust that he’ll listen and that you two can work through this together.”
“But what if I tell him, and he walks out on me?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. “He’s already been so patient, and I feel like I’m just delaying everything because I’m scared. What if he can’t take it anymore?”
Pandora sighed, sitting back slightly as she studied me. “Ashley, let me ask you something. Do you love Caleb, or do you feel like you’re trying to make up for hurting him before? Are you afraid of losing him because you genuinely want to build a life with him, or because you feel guilty about your past?”
The question hit me like a punch to the gut. I stared down at the tea in my hands, trying to untangle my emotions. I hadn’t thought of it that way before.
Was I really in love with Caleb, or was I holding onto him out of guilt? Did I want this life with him, or was I too afraid to admit that I wasn’t ready?
“I… I don’t know,” I finally whispered, my heart sinking at the realization. “I’ve been so focused on making things right between us that I haven’t even stopped to ask myself if this is what I truly want.”
Pandora nodded slowly, her expression understanding. “It’s okay not to have all the answers right now, Ashley. But you can’t keep running from your feelings. You owe it to yourself and to Caleb to figure out what you really want. And if you’re not ready for any of this, then you need to be honest with him. Even if it’s hard.”
I swallowed hard, feeling the weight of her words sink in. I had been so consumed with trying to fix things, trying to be the perfect partner, that I hadn’t allowed myself the space to feel. To really feel what I wanted.
“Maybe I do need to talk to him,” I agreed quietly, wiping away the last of my tears. “Before it’s too late.”
Pandora smiled softly. “That’s all you can do. Be honest with him and with yourself. Whatever happens, you’ll get through it. And you’ll have me by your side every step of the way.”
I nodded, feeling a little bit of the weight lift off my chest. I didn’t have all the answers yet, but for the first time in a long time, I felt like I was ready to start finding them.