Ashley’s POV
The countdown to my wedding was well underway, and instead of feeling joy and excitement, I felt this constant knot of anxiety tightening in my chest. The reality of it all was setting in, marriage, commitment, the looming responsibility of becoming a mother.
Every day brought me closer to the one thing I had feared for as long as I could remember: pregnancy and marriage.
My brother, Wilson, had just gotten married to Kiara last weekend. Their wedding at the pack house had been simple yet beautiful, and they were already settled into their new home in the middle of the pack’s territory.
He seemed so calm, so certain of his future with her. I envied his peace. I hadn’t said anything to anyone, but I wasn’t ready. My nerves were shot, and my thoughts in constant turmoil.
Dinner with Caleb was supposed to be relaxing. We hadn’t had much time to ourselves since the news of my pregnancy, and he’d been trying his best to keep me happy, but I was far from it.
I stared down at the food in front of me, absently pushing pieces of it around my plate, my mind drifting a thousand miles away. I was barely able to hear Caleb’s voice over the roar of my own thoughts.
“Ashley?” Caleb’s voice broke through the haze of my mind, soft but filled with concern.
I looked up, startled, my heart skipping a beat as his eyes searched mine. “What’s wrong?” he asked, his brow furrowed. “You’ve barely touched your food. Are you feeling okay? Is it the baby?”
The baby. The word felt like a weight around my neck, pulling me down into the abyss of uncertainty. Caleb had been so attentive ever since we found out.
He wanted to get married before the baby arrived, pushing the date forward, but I wasn’t sure if I could handle it.
“No, I’m fine,” I lied, forcing a smile I hoped was convincing. “I’m just tired, that’s all.”
“Tired?” Caleb leaned back in his chair, his eyes never leaving me. “Are you sure you don’t want to move the wedding forward? You know, to ease some of the pressure before the baby comes?”
My pulse quickened, the panic rising in my throat. Moving the wedding forward wouldn’t change how I felt about the situation. I couldn’t tell Caleb that though. I couldn’t let him know how scared I was, how every passing day made me feel more trapped.
“No,” I said, my voice strained but steady. “I’m excited, really. It’s just… everything’s happening so fast, and it’s a lot to process. I think I just need some rest.”
Caleb looked at me for a long moment, clearly not convinced, but he nodded. “Okay, but if you need anything, just tell me.”
“I will,” I lied again, pushing myself to finish my meal.
“I’m planning to go see Pandora tomorrow at the palace,” I added, trying to shift the conversation. “I haven’t seen her in a while, and I could use a distraction.”
Caleb’s eyes softened. “That sounds like a good idea. I can drive you if you want.”
“No, it’s fine. I’ll go by myself,” I said, trying to sound nonchalant. “It’ll give me some time to clear my head.”
He nodded again, but his gaze lingered, and I could feel his concern weighing on me like a heavy blanket. We finished the rest of our dinner in silence, my stomach twisting with nausea and the burden of everything left unsaid between us.
After dinner, the nausea hit me hard, much stronger than it had in days. I barely made it to the bathroom in time. Kneeling over the toilet, I emptied my stomach, the bitter taste of bile burning my throat.
Tears welled up in my eyes, and before I could stop myself, I cursed aloud, the words spilling out in a rush of frustration and fear.
“I can’t do this,” I whispered to the empty room, my voice shaking as the tears ran down my face. “I don’t want this. I’m not ready.”
As I wiped my face, I sensed a presence behind me, and when I turned, I froze.
Caleb stood there, his expression a mixture of shock and hurt. His eyes flicked between me and the toilet, and I knew he had heard everything. My heart stopped. How long had he been standing there? How much had he heard?
I couldn’t face him. I couldn’t bear to see the disappointment in his eyes, so I bolted. I ran past him, out of the bathroom, my feet moving before my mind could catch up. Grabbing my car keys off the counter, I sprinted for the door.
“Ashley, wait!” Caleb called after me, but I didn’t stop. I couldn’t. The walls were closing in around me, and all I could think about was escaping, getting as far away from everything as I could.
Tears blurred my vision as I flung open the front door and rushed outside, the cool night air hitting my face like a slap. I stumbled to the car, fumbling with the keys, trying to get them into the ignition with shaking hands. Before I could get the engine started, Caleb was there, standing beside the car, his hands resting gently on the hood as if to stop me.
“Ashley,” he called out softly, his voice breaking through the chaos in my mind. “Please don’t run.”
I couldn’t see his eyes. My hands clenched around the steering wheel, my body trembling with sobs I tried to hold back. “I’m sorry,” I whispered, my voice barely audible. “I don’t know what to do, Caleb. I’m so scared.”
He didn’t say anything for a moment, and when he finally spoke, his voice was calm, steady. “You don’t have to do this alone,” he said. “I’m here with you. Whatever you’re feeling, whatever you’re scared of… we can face it together.”
I looked up at him then, tears streaming down my face, and for the first time in days, I let myself believe that maybe, just maybe I didn’t have to go through this alone. But, I couldn’t believe it, instead, I hit the accelerator and zoomed out of the compound.