Casper
A dry cough tore at Raphael’s chest.
My hands darted towards Lilith’s figure, holding her in place when she almost tripped from her seat as Raphael applied the brakes suddenly.
The effect jerked us backward, making us hit our heads on the headrest.
“Awww.” I heard Lilith’s soft cry. She tilted her head, rubbing the spot that hit the headrest hard while shutting her eyes to endure the pain.
Anger rose in my chest at Raphael’s behavior.
She was already in pain today. Why does he have to cause her more pain?
The urge to have my arms around her shoulder and caress the spot that throb filled me, but I held myself back.
I didn’t want to give in to these strange feelings.
“What the hell, Raphael?” I lashed out via the mind link. “Did you almost hit someone? Or an animal?”
“No, I was trying to hit your senses back into your skull.” He responded, his voice void of remorse.
How dare he speak to me in such a manner?
“Are you crazy?”
“I should ask you that. First, you saved this girl and killed someone for her. Second, you brought her into your car. Marina was the only woman who sat in this car.”
My heart clenched painfully at Marina’s name.
“Don’t you dare bring Marina into this?” I warned, threatening to end the conversation.
My eyes wandered to the spot where Marina loved to sit unconsciously. A pain sprang up in my chest as the memories flooded my head.
Lilith was sitting in the same spot.
“Thirdly, she slapped you. This bitch slapped you!” He gritted, his words laced with anger and hatred.
“If you weren’t here, I would have snapped her neck without thinking twice. But I would cut off her hands so that if she comes to the world again, she wouldn’t dare mess with you.”
“It was my fault. She only slapped me to vent her anger, coupled with my words. I judged her too quickly.” I tried to make him understand, but my words weren’t enough to convince him.
He let out a scoff, hissing afterward. The strong smell of his anger filled the car.
“Can you fucking hear yourself, Alpha?” You sound weak!”
The effect of his words slashed my heart.
I was hurt.
His sharp tongue was wielded like a knife that he used in stabbing my heart repeatedly.
“I am not weak,” I growled, using my Alpha tone. “Now drive.”
He turned his head to the back, exchanging a dreadful look with Lilith’s briefly before reviving the car engine.
Silence ensued in the car and Lilith’s confused eyes landed on me.
Her brows shot up curiously. Even without her lips moving, I knew she sensed the negative energy in the car and wanted to ask me about it.
“It’s okay. Don’t worry about anything.” I tried to sound as convincing as I could before throwing Raphael a nasty look from the rear mirror.
“All my life, I’ve known you…” he started, while my neck fell backward and I let out a frustrated groan.
“Can I have some peace and quiet?” I gritted angrily. I could hear my frustrated voice in my head.
“Not until you quit acting like this girl has some effect on you. She fucking slapped you Alpha. I’ve grown with you over the years and I can beat my chest that no woman has ever looked into your eyes. Not if she doesn’t want to lose them. But this girl here looked into your eyes, raised her voice at you, and even hit you!”
I cringed at his angry voice in my head.
It was so loud that my ears started to ring.
Too bad I wasted my bourbon on that bastard.
“Even if you are wrong, you never admit it. You asserted your fear in the hearts of many and left no room for disrespect. But now, I don’t understand you anymore. I want my old Alpha back because, at this rate, I can tell that you are losing your mind gradually and I know it’s connected to that girl.”
I rolled my eyes, letting out a groan while placing my fingers on my forehead.
I knew Raphael wouldn’t stop talking.
My strange behavior jolted him with surprise.
I hated when he felt that I could control it when I couldn’t.
I wish I could explain what was happening to me.
I wanted my old self back too.
“What are you going to do next after employing her? Marry her? I won’t be surprised because your behavior is scaring the shit out of me,” he concluded, breathing heavily as he focused on his driving.
Finally, some peace and quiet.
I didn’t miss the nasty look he shot at me from the mirror but I ignored it.
I didn’t want him ranting in my head like a madman.
“Where do you live?” I asked Lilith, turning to her.
She was still shaking.
Tonight really traumatized her.
I wish there was something I could do to ease her fears.
But I wasn’t the romantic type.
What the fuck?!
Did I just say romantic?
What the hell is going on with me? I wasn’t even attracted to her.
“1000, City Avenue,” she replied. I could tell she struggled to make her voice come out nicely.
“You heard that, Raphael,” I said, opening my mind link.
The ride was quiet and I was grateful Raphael didn’t raise any issue.
I shut my eyes, relaxing and vibing with the soft music that flooded the car.
My mind was calm and my head was clear, thanks to the gentle music and Lilith’s vanilla scent.
The atmosphere was so calm, I almost fell asleep.
This was the second time in 10 years that I would sleep with a clear head.
Most times, despite leading my gut with sleeping pills, my eyes wouldn’t stay shut. They were wide open until dawn.
At least staying awake was better than being haunted by my demons in my sleep.
It triggered my anxiety attack.
It grew worse in the third year that after my episode, I was left breathless. It was as if the air around me was sucked by an invisible vacuum.
It led me to use an inhaler.
I hated it.
I hated the way it tasted, I hated that I had to have it about with me. Most times, I shove it in the depth of my pocket to avoid it from being sighted by others.
I was afraid of exposing it since it screamed weakness.
What would the world say when they knew that the most ruthless Alpha survived daily on this tiny object?
I hated that my life depended on it. Until my episodes disappeared, I was stuck with my inhaler.
My hands subconsciously dropped to my left pocket and I left the bent edge of my inhaler.
I breathe a sigh of relief.
My eyelids grew heavy and my head was blank, but despite trying to fall asleep, a vibrating sound interrupted the process.
My eyes flustered and I let out a frustrated sigh, searching around me to detect the origin of the shaky sound.
I let out a sigh and my face contorted in worry when I saw Lilith’s small frame shaking against the car door.
Using the map, I detected that her house was close, but she couldn’t go home like this, talk more of sleeping alone.
It could trigger some nightmares, but not after I made her witness a murder scene before her innocent eyes.
“Are you okay?” I turned to give her a concerned look, my weight dipping in the leather seat.
Her face quickly went from being scared to being fine in a split second. “I’m okay. Thank you for hiring me,” she said before clearing her throat.
I made out her small fingers clutching her body tightly.
She felt unsafe.
“Don’t pretend. I know that you are scared,” I spoke softly, lowering my gaze to meet hers.
“You can sleep at my estate since you are now my employee.”
Raphael cleared his throat, turning sharply to look at me, before continuing driving.
“We are almost at her place, Alpha, I don’t think there is a need for that.” His words were harsh and unhospitable.
“She can’t sleep alone. She is terrified and I know what it could lead to.” I shunned him using my mind link.
“Tonight is full of crazy things. I don’t understand how you suddenly feel comfortable letting her sleep in your house when you warned me severally not to bring any stranger to your place. The only people allowed were Anna, the doctor, and me.”
“She is not a stranger. She works for me now.”
“Really? It didn’t sound like that in the morning. You didn’t even want her in your house and you got mad at me, thinking she was coming into your bedroom. I think you need a drink.”
“Don’t tell me you have feelings for this girl, ” Raphael flinched, furrowing his brows to see my reaction.
“No. Why would you say that? My feelings are dead.” I stated confidently.
I would never love another except Marina.
“Better,” he said, relaxing into his seat. But I could still see worry written on his face.
“She is going through a lot and I pity her. Other than that, there is nothing else.”
“You don’t do emotions, Alpha. Not even the slightest feelings move you. I think you are losing your mind.”
Raphael’s words sank into my brain, making me think deeply.
He was right.
I knew it wasn’t just pity, it was something stronger than that.
Damn it! Lilith was driving me crazy.