Kayla
“Mine!” My heart was thundering in my ribcage, Asher’s words sounded like a caress and my traitorous body responded with such a pleasure that I felt mortified.
Could it possibly be that Asher was confessing his feelings for me? Or was he just being possessive?
Why did you say that? My mouth moved faster than I wished. Asher’s forehead creased as he stared at me with a confused look. I pressed my hands against his bare chest and shoved hard against it as I tried to ignore the spark that rocked my body the moment my hands touched his smooth skin that was filled with a set of runes on his body.
But why the hell was there so many runes on his body? I had no idea and I didn’t think I would receive any answer if I asked him that now. So instead I decided to focus on the initial topic. I continued shoving him hard on his chest, which felt like a marble rock beneath my touch. I knew Asher was too strong for me and I wouldn’t be able to push him out unless he wanted but yet I couldn’t stop trying.
“Stop that, Kayla.” He growled and held my wrists with his hands.
“No, I won’t,” I yelled, feeling pretty emboldened.
“Make me understand you Asher, I can’t keep up with your mood swings. One minute you’re all loving and caring and the next you are acting distant and rigid like I’m the last person you want to be with.
Asher, you said you trusted me, and you knew the kind of person I was then why do you keep doing this? Why do you keep pulling away from me? Why do you act like being around me is traumatic for you? Why Asher?” I asked.
I saw a muscle in his jaw twitch and once more his cold exterior that I was already used to took over him. I was prepared when he loosened his grip on my hands. I wasn’t surprised by his behavior, it was obvious that he was avoiding any form of commitment with me. Whenever important things came up that could reform our relationship he would disappear and this time was no different and I have had enough of it.
” I am not surprised, this is not your first time and it won’t be your last. You keep running away from me. Why do you keep running away from us? Why are you so scared of commitment? Why are you not making an effort to fix us? If you don’t want me, why then are you still keeping me beside you?”
He was already turning to leave but my words made him pause, I waited for him to say something but none of that happened. Instead, he just stood there, when I thought he would never turn or even try to say something, he finally did.
He turned to face me and there was this vulnerable look in his eyes that I hadn’t seen before. I did not think that I would ever associate the word ‘vulnerable’ with him but he did look like someone who had bottled up a lot of pain inside.
He stepped closer to me and I closed my eyes as I tried not to get lost in his eyes like I always did. But still, my body kept burning with his scents clouding my thoughts.
“Look at me.”
I slowly did as he asked and immediately I was pulled in by his beautiful golden amber orbs that radiated like a twin sun. His eyes were searching mine as his chest moved in rhythm with mine as I waited for him to say something.
His breath fanned my face and I felt some sort of emotion flicker in those amber eyes but it was gone before I could truly make sense of what it was.
” You want to know the reason why I behave this way, right?” There was a look of hesitation on his face so I decided to use it to my advantage.
” Please tell me. I need to know the truth and information that you are keeping away from me.” I grumbled.
Asher gulped and I saw his Adam’s apple bob. His eyes were searching me, maybe calculating how much he could tell me.
I lifted my hand and gently placed it on his chest. I could feel the beating of his heart below my hand, steady and solid, like him. My eyes were trained on him and I could see the internal struggle going on in his mind.
He was in a fight with himself and I hated to admit that I cared for him. It was not just desire driven by my body but my heart was growing soft for him.
The muscles in his body were coiled like a wire and I felt the tension crackling in the air around us.
” Do you know what it feels like to love someone with every fiber of your being and the person dies? Do you know what it feels like to suffer every day from the pain of it? Do you know what it feels like to blame yourself every damn second of the day? Do you have an idea how it feels knowing that your unborn pup died with your mate? Do you fucking know how it feels?”
I stared at him, unable to speak. There was so much pain and hurt in his eyes that traveled all the way to my heart. His hurt was mine and I felt like I was the one going through it all. I felt tears prick at my eyes and I had to fight my mind not to break down.
” Do you Kayla?” His voice cracked with a raw emotion as he grabbed my shoulders. I gasped as he dropped his voice to a whisper and gently shook my body. “Do you have the slightest idea of the torture I go through every day?”
I tried to say something, anything but it seemed like my mouth had a willpower of its own. I was suddenly mute.
He shook his head ” You don’t, because if you did you would have known that I almost experienced the same pain today.”