I step out of the room, emotions I can’t put into words flood over me. The corridor is quiet, but the soft hum of the hospital machinery fills the air.
It’s getting late, and I’m not usually one to spend late hours outside, but a thought strikes me. I need to let loose.
“Fuck my life,” I mutter to myself as I spot a bar just a few steps away. My legs move on their own, carrying me into the bar.
Walking into the bar, I notice it’s crowded. Jeez, and it’s not even Friday yet. I thought people came to unwind mostly on weekends. For fuck’s sake, it’s just Tuesday.
The music is so loud I can feel the beat in my chest as I move through the throng of people.
“Girl, this is not my typical definition of fun,” I think to myself. “What then is your definition of fun?” a voice chides me in my head.
“Whatever,” I reply to the voice and walk over to the bar. The bartender notices me.
“Hey, pretty, what’s up? Are you new here? I haven’t seen this face before.”
I roll my eyes at him. “How come you know everyone who patronizes this bar?”
He gives a toothy grin. “I’m the life of this bar. Anyone walking in has to have contact with me first before mingling, just like you did just now.”
I shake my head at his frank nature. “True.”
“So, what does the pretty lady want?” he asks with a smirk on his face.
“Virgin pina colada,” I say over the music.
He looks at me skeptically. “You are no fun, girl.”
I shrug. “Maybe not tonight.”
He chuckles and starts making my drink. As I wait, I take in the atmosphere around me. The bar is alive with energy-people dancing, conversations buzzing, and the music pulsating through the air.
The bartender slides my drink over. “Here you go, one virgin pina colada. Enjoy.”
I take a sip, appreciating the sweetness. “Thanks,” I say, giving him a small smile.
I stay glued to the bar stool, absorbed in conversation. We keep chatting; he has a great sense of humor and keeps making me laugh.
“Wow, we’ve been talking for more than an hour,” he says, his eyes twinkling. “What’s your name, pretty?”
“I’m Nadine.”
“Joshua, but you can call me Josh. Joshua sounds so biblical,” he adds with an exaggerated air quote.
“Whatever,” I reply, waving my hand dismissively.
“Before you know it, my shift will be over, and we’ll have more time to talk,” he says, giving me a wink.
I smile and watch the crowd enjoying themselves. True to his word, he finishes his shift and steps outside to join me.
“See? I told you I’d be done before you knew it,” he says, a playful glint in his face.
I don’t know why I feel so comfortable around Josh. He seems like a good guy. Being the gracious person that I am, I easily trust people, which is a flaw for me.
We both sit down and continue talking about everything. It feels like an escape from everything that has happened in the last twenty-four hours.
“I like your company. It’s kind of soothing,” he says, bringing me out of my thoughts.
I give him a sharp look, wondering what he means.
“Slow down, woman. I see that huge ring on your finger, and I know you just want to get away for a while. I know you’re married, and I don’t do married women.”
I look down, twirling the ring on my hand. He’s right; I’m using this opportunity to escape the chaos I feel at home with Samantha’s presence.
Josh’s honesty stings, but it’s also refreshing. I take a deep breath, trying to push away the confusion swirling inside me.
He notices my discomfort. “I’m sorry. I hope I haven’t said something out of line.”
I look up at him. “No, not at all. It’s just that you’re telling the truth. I just needed a break,” I admit, my voice barely above a whisper.
“You know, I feel that way sometimes, too; I try to get away whenever I feel that way.”
“You’re married?” I ask, pointing at him.
“Yes, I am. And sometimes it can be overwhelming.”
“Truly, Josh, it can be, I can relate.”
A band comes up on stage, and my eyes follow them. Their performance captivates the crowd, with everyone singing along and enjoying the music.
I don’t know most of the lyrics, but I can see everyone vibing to the song.
My social life sucks, and I know I need to step up my game and do better. Suddenly, I feel uneasy, like someone is watching my every move. I look around, wondering who it could be, but I don’t see anyone.
I try to shake off the unease and focus on the band. Taking a deep breath, I immerse myself in the music.
A few minutes pass, and the feeling persists. My eyes scan the room again, more carefully this time, but I still don’t see anyone suspicious.
Could it be one of his bodyguards? Or the driver who took me to the hospital? Or maybe it’s Logan?
Logan is probably busy with Samantha. And if it is Logan, how could he find me?
Josh notices. “Are you okay?” he asks, his voice gentle.
“I… I’m fine,” I manage to say, looking up at Josh and giving him a tight smile.
Josh doesn’t seem convinced, but he nods and lets it go. The band starts a new song, and I try to lose myself a bit. The music helps, but the nagging feeling in my gut remains.
I shift uncomfortably. “Do you care for a dance?” Josh asks, stretching out his hand.
I think about Logan and his time with Samantha, how he makes me feel unimportant since she came into the picture.
The contract says I shouldn’t get involved with any man, but this is just a harmless dance with Josh.
“Fuck Logan,” I think to myself taking Josh’s hand as he leads me to the dance floor.
I settled myself comfortably, my mind made up to enjoy the moment. Part of me wants to use this dance with Josh as a way to punish Logan for how he made me feel.
I relax slightly as Josh holds my hand, his other hand resting gently on the small of my back. I anticipate the familiar spark I used to feel whenever Logan touched me, but instead, I feel nothing.
I try to lose myself in the rhythm, but my mind drifts back to Logan. The dance feels like I’m going through the motions without really being present.
I can’t understand why I’m comparing Logan to Josh during this harmless dance. It’s as if my heart is so entangled with Logan that I measure every man I meet against him.
“You look peaceful,” Josh whispers in my ear. “I’m glad I could help with what’s going on in your mind.”
I nod without looking up at him, resting my head on his chest. His heartbeat was calm and steady, unlike Logan’s, which beat so fast whenever I was near him.
I move with the rhythm of the dance. It’s different from being with Logan, but maybe, just maybe, it’s a step toward finding a different kind of peace.
Then, suddenly, I feel Josh pull away from me forcefully.