– Harley –
I’ve settled myself into a nice routine here, I wake up and actually cook myself something to eat, then I go down to the gun range and shoot targets, I go to the gym but don’t strain myself, the treadmill helps me relax and I do light weights, I eat lunch have a nap, help cook dinner, eat and relax in bed watching Netflix. Maree Ricci’s head chef has been helping me to learn how to cook, I figured it’s probably a good idea for when the baby comes.
“You’re getting better Mija, you haven’t set the kitchen on fire for 2 days” Ricci jokes as he walks into the kitchen, I turn around and give him a weak smile. “I’m sorry I haven’t exactly been the best guest”, And by that I mean I cry every hour or so and yell at everyone and attempt to stab at least 3 people a day, 5 I’ve been successful in doing so, some of the men say I’m scarier than I was before. “Have you made your choice yet?” He asks while tasting what I had made, “I don’t know, I love him but he really fucking hurt me, I can’t even think about him without wanting to kill everyone”.
“I have a surprise for you,” He says with a smile, he looks down at his watch and clicks his tongue, “Right on time”. The sound of men running outside echos through the house like a damn stampede of elephants, “What the fuck’s going on?” I ask as he places his hand on my back slowly guiding me towards the front door, “You’re surprise silly” He says with happiness in his voice.
He opens the door and my heart and stomach drop, Jax is on his knees out the front surrounded by Ricci’s guards, all of their guns aimed at him. I begin to shake and tremble and I can’t stop the tears falling from my eyes, “I’m so fucking sorry, I love you Harley” He says between sobs, he’s actually crying. Ricci walks behind him and cocks his gun at Jax’s head. My heart begins to beat out my chest and all I want to do is throw up, this can’t be happening, and then it changes, my blood runs cold and the tears stop falling, all I see is red. He squeezes his eye shut, “STOP” I scream, I walk down the steps and stand infront of Jax.
He opens his eyes and slowly looks up at me, “Take him to the pit” I seethe . I turn around and storm in the house going straight up the stairs and into my room, he looked like shit, his face lightly bruised, dirty as a hobo, dried blood on his skin, just looks like pure shit, good I smirk to myself. I dig through my bag and find my runners, a pair of leggings and a black singlet. I change my clothes and begin to wrap my knuckles as someone knocks on my door, “Come in” I call out, Ricci opens the door and comes in with a smirk on his face, “What?” I yell.
“Are you going to kill him?” He asks amused, “Depends if I like his answers or not” I reply as I slide my gun into the back of my waistband. He nods his head as I stand up, I tie my hair up in a high ponytail and nod, “Let’s go” I say as I walk past him and out the door.
I walk into the pit, a large boxing ring in the middle of a large dark room, everything as you would expect. Dirty, bloody and bunch of full-grown men crowded around the ring waiting for the show to start. Jax is strapped down and tied to a chair in the middle of the ring, I block everything out until I’m standing infront of Jax, he looks up at me wide-eyed and tries to speak but fails due to the gag in his mouth.
I rip the tape off of his mouth and take the fabric out, “Care to say that again, I didn’t catch you the first time” I say with a straight smile, “What the hell is this?’ He says looking around at everything, “This is going to determine whether I kill you or not if I’m honest” His face pales when the words leave my mouth.
“We are going to have a very lovely chat and for everything, I don’t like hearing or I think you’re lying I’m going to punch you, so I suggest you don’t fucking lie to me. But don’t worry handsome I won’t torture you in case you actually come out of this breathing, wouldn’t want to traumatise my husband” I spit out.
I grab a chair from the corner of the ring and drag it back to sit in front of him, everyone in the room goes dead silent, “Now why don’t we start this conversation, you’re going to have to speak loudly so everyone can hear you” I say as I gesture my arms out to everyone in the room. “What the fuck was your problem when you came home that night?” I fold my hands over my bump and wait for his answer, he sighs and shakes his head looking down, “Wrong answer” I stand up and punch the right side of his ribs, he wheezes out in pain and groans.
I sit back down and nod my head at him, “Someone put a target on your head after we announced the pregnancy, the whole time you kept asking me to leave and I couldn’t let you leave, I needed you safe” He replies, “Would it have not been fucking easier to tell me that rather than hiding it from me?” I ask. “Yes,” He says hanging his head down, I stand up again and punch the left side of his ribs, “LOOK AT ME, YOU DON’T GET TO FUCKING LOOK AWAY” I scream in his face.
I sit back down and lean forward, “Do you not think I would have understood and not have fucking left, do you really fucking think I’d want to put myself or the baby in danger? Matter as fact do you just not fucking think at all?” I ask as calmly as I can. “I just didn’t want to stress you out anymore, I know it’s been hard for you lately and I didn’t want to pile more shit on top of you, you needed to rest and relax”.
“What I needed was my HUSBAND to be fucking honest with me,” I say standing up, “I know, and I fucked up and im so sucking sorry” He pleas, “Oh you’re not sorry, but you will be” I smirk at him before swinging to hit his eye. “Do you really think it was my fault I lost that fucking baby?” I ask bending over to meet his eye level. “No, I was angry and said the first thing that came to my mind, it’s no excuse but it’s the truth” I stand up and punch his right cheek, “I know that wasn’t a lie because some times you’re dumb as fuck, but it was a pathetic thing to do and I don’t like the answer”.
“You really think I’m spoilt? Yeah because you buy me shit without me saying a god damn thing, god damn it, Jax I didn’t even remember you saying you were going to buy me an engagement ring, I would have married your dumbass regardless”.
“The first date we ever went on where did you take me?” I ask him, “Arcade” He answers straight away, “How much did we spend there?”, He laughs “$45 on food and games”. “You really think I’m a child? A brat yeah fucking probably I’ll give you that but I am nowhere near a fucking child, I haven’t been a child since I was 8, I had to grow the fuck up and grow the fuck up pretty quick don’t you think?”.
“You did” He agreed, “Now as for me being the same as a rotter, tell me, actually amuse me as to how I am the same,” I say smiling down at him, “Again I wasn’t thin-” He begins but I punch his lip splitting it open and slightly chipping his front tooth, “Wrong answer” I scream. I motion for one of Ricci’s guys to come into the ring, he hesitantly walks in and walks over to me, “You want me to act like a rotter? Because I can fuck handsome I’ll even put on a show for you” I say as I drag my nail down the man’s chest.
“Please, no, fuck please don’t” He replies as tears from his eyes once again, I push the man in his chest and shoo him away. “Am I selfish?” I ask as I place my hands on my hips, “No I am, I locked you away because I was scared of you getting hurt again” He says, “Good answer” I smirk as I begin to walk around him. I notice a chain around his neck, I hook my finger under untucking it from his shirt it as I walk around.
When I get to the front of him I bed down and look closely, two rings come out from under his shirt looped through the chain, my two rings… My eyes widen and I look up to see him already looking down at me, “You kept them?” I ask “I threw them at Gunner and told him to marry Shelby if he wanted her to become a bitch… But he gave them back to me. I’m still wearing mine, i never took it off” He replies looking defeated. “EVERYONE OUT” I roar not taking my eyes off of him.
I can hear people walking out of the room, I sit in the chair across from Jax and stare at him until I hear the door slam shut, I look around and make sure everyone’s gone before I turn my attention back to Jax.
“Am I not the same person you married?” I asked my voice much quieter than before, “You are, Harley you’re even more amazing than the day I married you. Again I have no excuse for why I said it, I just got so angry and put it out on you because you were the closest thing near me, I hadn’t even realised what happened until the front door slammed and you were gone”.
I stand up and take his restraints off, “Stand up” I say flicking my finger upwards, he does as he’s told and I take a step back, I look him over from head to toe before I take the gun out from behind my waist and pull the trigger, the bullet skimming past his ear but close enough to take a chunk out of the top, he doesn’t flinch nor does he look anywhere other than my eyes, I slide the gun back into my waistband and stare at him, “Pull some shit like that again and the next bullet will be 3 inches to the left”.
“What happened to you before you got here?” I scrunch my eyebrows together remembering back to the light bruises he had before I made some more, “It doesn’t matter I deserved it. I don’t know what came over me, I just wanted to protect you and the baby. And I fucked up, I fucked up so bad and I don’t even know how to begin to make it up to you” He begins to cry again, I wipe away his tears and look into his eyes, they’re so dull and empty it’s like looking at a different person.
“You hurt me, really fucking bad. But I hurt you too. What hurt me the most is that you used the things you knew would affect me the most. It wasn’t fair for you to blame our baby’s death on me, or say that I am just a rotter. If you honestly believe those tell me now”.
He slowly moves his hands up to touch my face he hesitates slightly but does it anyways, his touch is so gentle I can barely feel it. “I don’t believe any of it, I don’t know why I said the things I did, it was just angry and it’s not fucking excuse, I hurt the most important person in my life” I remove his hands from my face and hurt flashes across his features, I hold his hands in mine and bring his knuckles up to my lips planting a soft kiss on them when I pull back I look down at his wedding band.
“Why didn’t take it off?” I ask looking up at him again, “I’m never taking it off, even if you leave me and I never see you again… It’s never going to be the same again is it?” He asks looking into my eyes.
I drop his hands and bring mine back to my sides, “No it’s not… Because we are going to work through this and come out stronger. But it’s going to take time”
I close my eyes and inhale through my nose before exhaling through my mouth, I open my eyes again and are instantly met with Jax’s “We are in this together. You’re my ride or die handsome, even if I want to blow your fucking brain’s out half the time” I say with a small laugh. “Can I kiss you… please?” I raise an eyebrow at him, “You have to ask permission to kiss your wife?” I question, his eyes widen, “You still want to be my wife?” He asks confused. I pull up my shirt and move his hand to the tattoo of his name, my hearts pounding so hard I’m certain he can feel it under his fingertips, even when I hate him he does crazy stupid things to my body and mind.
“We are going to have good days, bad days and fucking ugly days. This week has been ugly days. When I married you I knew what I was getting myself into, when I agreed to be your old lady I knew what I was getting myself into, when I agreed to be your girlfriend I knew what I was getting myself into. Things like this are only going to make us grow, I chose to grow old with you. I’m not throwing it away because of some stupid fucking argument, when I saw you today, you looked so vulnerable, so broken. You didn’t have to come here but you did, you sat there in that chair and answered everything I asked and you told me the truth, that’s all I want, no secrets, no lies”.
“No secrets, no lies” he repeats, “You do look like shit by the way,” I say laughing, he slightly laughs and shakes his head “Yeah I feel like it too, I couldn’t sleep or eat, I could barely even drink. Locked myself in the office, I couldn’t be in the house.” I bite my lower lip and trace my thumb over his lightly bruised eye, “My dad?” I ask he slightly smiles and shakes his head again, “Gunner actually, but your dad did break my jaw and fractured some of my ribs” I wasn’t surprised about what my dad did, but I was shocked to hear that Gunner had hit him.
“Oh yeah, Gunner stabbed me in the shoulder too” He laughs a little, “Gunner did what?” I ask in disbelief, he pulls down the collar of his shirt and shows me the wound, “Huh, never thought I would see the day he finally grew some balls, You deserved it tho”.
“So can I kiss you, please?” He asks again, I shrug my shoulds and turn around “I’ll think about, but you need a shower because you fucking stink”, I begin to walk out of the ring and call over my shoulder for him to follow, your punishment is nowhere near done, my lovely husband.