– Jax –
“Why do you have demons like me? What happened?” Harley asks me her voice softer than usual, I choke on the fries in my mouth and grab my milkshake to help them down before calming my nerves I run my hands through my hair messing it up as I try to figure out how to word it properly, I look up to Harley and she instantly raises her eyes to meet mine “The only person who knows is Gunner” I try to say but it comes out in a whisper.
She nods her head “If you don’t want to tell me it’s okay I understand” she says while getting up from her seat making her way to my side before sitting down and intertwining her small hand and fingers into mine and playing with my messy hair, probably trying to make it look somewhat presentable.
No, I have to tell her I said it myself no secrets only the truth if this will work. “I have a brother…” I start before trailing off I shake my head try again dickhead, “I had a brother…” My chest tightens and my hands begin to get clammy at the thought of him, the memories flood into my mind after I had held them back for god knows how long, “Hey hey hey, don’t worry about it” I hear Harley and lean into her touch, I close my eyes and take a deep breath.
“No I said I wanted everything on the table, I need to do this, I need you to know” I open my eyes and look to my side to see my beautiful woman sitting next to me waiting patiently my beautiful Harley. “he was my twin, his name was Jacob. He was my best friend, we did everything together he was my other half, I was the silly and emotionless kid, he was the opposite he was serious but full of love and emotion. He had such a beautiful soul, I envied him for that, now I look back at it he was the better twin out of the both of us” I swallow the large lump in my throat before continuing.
“I was always the trouble maker, I followed in my father’s footsteps and joined the MC, Jacob didn’t want to do it, he wanted to go to school and become a doctor, he wanted to save peoples lives while I wanted to end them. He didn’t deserve anything he got” my voice cracks on the last words, Harley stands up and pulls on my hand, I get up and throw some money on the table before she drags me outside, she pulls a packet of cigarettes out of her pocket before placing one in my mouth and lighting it and then hers, I pull her into me and rest my chin on top of her head holding her as close to me as I can get her “The night my parents were killed, he was too”.
“Not here handsome, lets go somewhere quiet and finish this” I nod and kiss her lips softly before throwing my leg over my bike I hold my hand out for Harley, she takes it and slides herself behind me holding into my waist tightly, I start the bike and pull her right hand up to my lips kissing it as we take off out of the car park, “Where to?” She asks in my ear, “I have somewhere in mind” I say back to her as she plants a small kiss on my neck before burying her head into my back.
We make our way through the woods and come to a stop, I get off and lift Harley off the back before she can get off herself, I kneel down infront of her “Get on kitten, wouldn’t want you to get tired” I tease her before she willingly jumps on my back, “I was gonna get on whether you wanted me to or not, you know its still my 24 hours” she smirks as I stand up and start the walk to a hidden spot that Jacob and I had found when we were kids.
I walk for around 20 minutes before coming to a stop, Harley jumps off my back and stops dead in her tracks “This is… perfect” she says almost silently, I nod my head before looking around, a giant waterfall infront of us with huge flat rocks all around perfect for jumping from or having picnics on, memories from my childhood flash past my eyes, how simple everything was back then my train of thought is cut short when the feeling of Harley’s arms suddenly wrap around my waist.
“Let’s go sit on one of the rocks” she points up to one of them, “Let’s go kitten” we make our way up to one of the rocks and sit down watching the waterfall, I pull 2 joints out of my pocket and offer her one, I light hers before mine. I break the silence between us “I was born first, Jacob came out 2 minutes later I’ll always remember mum telling me how close we were even at birth apparently we held onto each other and refused to let go, they had to bathe us at the same time. That night I lost my family, of course, I still have the MC but I didn’t have my dad anymore to help me become president I need to be for this club, I didn’t have my mum anymore to yell at me about when she would be getting grandchildren from me, I didn’t have my baby brother to grow up with, I didn’t get to see him graduate, I didn’t get to see him get married, I didn’t get to see him become something in life, he lost it, the most caring person I had ever met lost his life”.
“Jacob and I found this when we were kids, it was our favourite place… I don’t remember much from the night, I remember hearing bangs coming from downstairs, we weren’t in the clubhouse, after we were born they moved into their own house for some extra space, I remember my mum telling me to take my brother and to hide in dads office and to lock the door. I remember the sounds of my mothers screams when they got ahold of her, I remember hearing her begging for her husbands life, I remember her begging them to hurt her and not him, eventually I couldn’t take it anymore and I told Jacob to stay in the office while I went downstairs to help them any way I could, I still wasn’t too skilled in shooting or knives but I had killed before I had to try and save them, even if that meant dying in the process”.
“I slowly made my way downstairs making sure to be silent, what I didn’t know was that Jacob was behind me I got out one of my knives and armed myself making my way to the first guy as I was about to attack him Jacob screamed when someone stabbed my father in his leg, the man infront of me turned around and I threw my arm across me slicing his chest with the blade, I turned around and ran pushing Jacob infront of me”.
I stay silent for a while and just smoke my joint before finishing it and putting it out, I move Harley’s leg over mine and trace her skin before starting once more. “As I was pushing him down the hallway another man came out of nowhere and grabbed Jacob, before I had the chance to help him in anway the man that I had previously cut had come up behind me and grabbed me, they dragged us back downstairs and made both of us watch as they tortured our parents infront of us, I remember Jacob screaming and crying as they did it, I, on the other hand, remained silent, my body had shut down I couldn’t comprehend anything that was going on I didn’t want to realise what I was currently watching”.
“I remember telling myself I had to be strong for Jacob, I couldn’t cry or panic I had to be strong for him, I had to be the man, I had to be in somewhat control of the situation even though in reality I had no fucking control. After dismembering our mum and dad they dragged us upstares to Jacob’s room before tying him down to a chair, they made me stand up so I ‘had the perfect view’ as they put it, I remember watching them torture him, I remember how hard I tried to save him, how hard I fought to try and rescue him, but I couldn’t, I couldn’t save anyone. I can’t remember how many hours they tortured him for before the roaring sound of bikes broke through the constant screams of Jacob, at this point I was a mess, my eyes stung from the constant tears, my throat ripped raw from screaming at them to stop, from begging for them to hurt me instead, to just let my baby brother go, that he didn’t deserve anything”.
“I held him in my arms when they had finished torturing him infront of me for hours on end as he took his last breaths, I’ll never forget the feeling of his blood dripping down my arms and chest, how warm it felt, how it smelt, how long it took for his body to turn cold, how long it took for him to finally stop fighting, to finally be at peace, to not be in pain anymore. After that I was never the same, I mean I had killed but it was always quick but that night something was born in me, something evil, something destructive and dangerous…” I trail off and look at Harley whos looking up to me with tears in her eyes to match mine. “Something psychotic” she whispers up to me wiping the tears from my cheeks, I nod my head, “Exactly”.
We sit in silence for a while before she breaks it, “He would be proud of you you know?” I turn to meet Harley’s gaze I shake my head and laugh at her “What at the ugly monster I have become?” I scoff at myself and she shakes her head, “First of all if I’m not a monster neither are you, and secondly of how you’ve have grown up so much since then, youre the president of the club, you have so much respect and you respect them too, you treat them all like family, it’s amazing I can’t imagine how many peoples lives you have improved in the short amount of time you have been the pres, your parents and your brother would be beyond proud of you I know it, a lot of people wouldn’t be able to go through what you’ve been through and come out of the other end still standing, fuck I’m so proud of you”.
I pull her into my lap and tuck my face into her neck “Fuck, I love you Harley” she kisses the top of my head “I love you too jax” we sit there listening to the waterfall and the sounds of nature around us just enjoying each other’s presence, “Ready to head back?” She questions me “Yeah kitten, lets go before you get sick” I say as I stand up pulling her up with me, “You know the drill” she says while we make our way tot he bottom of the rocks, once we get down she gets on my back again and we make our way back to the bike.
We ride in silence back to the clubhouse, as we pull up I get off and turn to Harley pinning her between me and my bike, “What’s wrong?” She asks looking up at me, “I just want it to be us tonight, I don’t want to be with anyone besides you I don’t care if we lay in bed and talk shit I just want to spend the rest of the night with you”, I watch her closely as she shifts her gaze to her feet I catch a glimpse of her cheeks that are now bright red, I fucking adore it when she blushes, it makes me forget that she could stab me at any second.
“I’d like that too,” she says as she looks back up to me once her cheeks had calmed down, she slowly runs her fingers over my chest and leather cut biting her lower lip as she does it, she’s driving me wild. I lean down to kiss her before “Ah the lovebirds are back!” Gunners voice rings out over the lot and I groan at the sound, great timing brother.
“Gunner dont you have better things to be doing than harassing us,” I asked still looking at Harley, I feel his hand slap my shoulder and I snap my head to the side glaring at him, “Just wanted to see my fave couple, everything good in paradise?” He asks exchanging glances between Harley and I, “If you want to keep your sight I suggest you walk your ass back over there boy” Harley says pointing at Shelby who’s now making her way over towards us, fucking hell give me a break.
“Gunner leave them alone for god’s sake, not everyone wants to tell you their business,” she says as she attempts to pull him away he mumbles something under his breath and stomps his foot causing Harley to burst out laughing, “We will see you guys tomorrow, won’t we Gunner?” Shelby says as she turns to him, he pouts his bottom lip trying to change our minds.
“Fine!” He says throwing his arms up, “I’ll wait until tomorrow but if you don’t tell me everything Harley we aren’t gonna be friends anymore ok?” He says pointing his finger at her, “Wait why will you ask Harley and not me?” I question looking at him, “Because you won’t tell me all the juicy details and I know girls do that when talking about shit” he smiles at Harley and Shelby “He’s right you know” Harley says turning her focus back onto me, my face drops and she laughs at my reaction.
“Aw come on handsome, let’s go to bed” I grab her and pull her into my side before leaving Shelby to Gunner’s drunken state, good luck to her. We make our way into my room and I lock the door behind us, “I’m going for a quick shower okay?” I turn to Harley and nod my head watching her as she makes her way into the bathroom before closing the door.
I get undressed leaving my boxers, I hang up my cut and place my gun and knife in the bedside table next to me. I sit up in bed and light a cigarette before going on my phone to answer text messages that I had forgotten about, Harley cracks the door open slightly while she’s drying herself off so she could talk to me.
She stays silently for a few minutes before speaking, I think nothing of it and don’t pay any attention before hearing her speak “So I’ve thought about what I want next” I hear her call out from the bathroom “And what would that be kitten?” Only then looking up to the bathroom door when my mouth drops, there she stands in all her fucking glory.
Her long hair still slightly wet from the shower, my eyes trace down her body slowly, her bra and underwear hugged her skin tightly, showing off all of her perfect curves, the white lace made it almost impossible to not jump on top of her and make her mine. Everything about this woman is perfect, the stretch marks on her stomach and thighs, and the scars on top of them. The tattoos that cover her silky skin, her crooked smile when she’s nervous or shy. The way she’s so outgoing and dangerous yet she’s so fragile and shy too.
I snap out of my thoughts and realise I’ve been staring at her like a creep for god knows how long, her cheeks go red once again and I feel a fire burn inside of me “You” she speaks as she slowly makes her way towards me I sit up more trying to figure out of I’m dreaming of not, “I don’t know if this is a dream or not” I admit to her out loud, she laughs and stops infront of me before climbing on top of me stradling my lap, my dick now so hard I’m concerned that its going to break through the little fabric holding it back.
“It’s not a dream Jax” she says as she moves her hand to my cheek rubbing it slightly, “Are you sure kitten?” i ask her, i want to make she knows what she’s doing I want her 100% consent, that after this there is no question that I am hers, as she is mine. “Kitten I need you to understand, that after this there will be no one else for me in this life, I want you and only you. I want you by my side for the rest of my life, I want to grow old with you, I want to grow with you. I want to mark you so everyone knows that you are untouchable, I want the world to know that you are mine as I am yours”.
“You are mine as I am yours,” she says quietly while dragging her nails down my chest “I want you, Jax, I want you to have all of me” she whispers against my lips.