In my thoughts, I kept repeating the words “sorry” and “forgive me.” I wanted to convey them to Gio, but what could I do? He didn’t want to face or talk to me.
I didn’t care if I shouldn’t be begging Gio. I knew I had made a mistake, and I admitted it. I had done wrong, and I was here to make it right. I wanted to speak to Gio and resolve our issue.
I continued to sob, and I heard the gate open. I paid no attention, thinking it was just the guard coming to tell me that Gio wanted me to leave.
“Millie…”
The moment I heard that familiar voice, I immediately looked up. My vision became even more blurred when I saw Gio standing in front of me. His pained expression was evident, and I could feel that pain too.
I stood up and approached him. Tears kept flowing, and I wanted them to stop. He looked at me, and I noticed him squinting his eyes.
“Gio, I’m sorry. Let me explain. I’m not betraying you. I could never do that to you.”
“You’re so unfair in every aspect, Millie,” he said as he opened his eyes. I saw the sparkle in them and the pain in his expression. “Why is it like this? No matter what I do and no matter how hard I try, I can’t resist you. I can’t bear to hear you begging, and I definitely can’t bear to hear you cry.”
He approached me and embraced me gently. I was taken aback, but I felt tears welling up in my eyes.
“Why can’t I resist you? When it’s you, I always become weak and willing to act foolishly. I can endure anything, even the most difficult things, as long as it’s for you.”
I held Gio’s clothes tightly and wept in his arms. I didn’t want to let go. I felt that if I released him, he would push me away again.
Gio separated himself from my embrace. I was still sniffling, but no more tears were falling. His facial expression remained unchanged. When he noticed traces of tears on my eyes and cheeks, he gently wiped them away with his thumb and said, “Go home, Millie.”
I thought I could talk to Gio, but apparently, that was not the case. He only let me go because he realized I was crying and not leaving, but he had no intention of talking to me. I held onto Gio, fearing he might leave if I didn’t do so. My grip was strong, clearly indicating my reluctance to let him go.
Gio just gazed at me but didn’t say the words I longed to hear. “I need some time alone. Go home, Millie. I’ll come back tomorrow. I just need to clear my head and think.”
“Can’t you do that at home? With me?” I asked him, trying to tighten my grip on his clothes, despite my weakness.
“I can’t,” he replied. “I know that when I’m with you, I can’t think clearly. My mind will revolve around you, and I won’t be able to sort my thoughts. Just give me some time tonight. I’ll come back tomorrow.”
I felt weak and finally let go of him. Gio looked at Dario and signaled to him to come close to me and take me home. My lips quivered as I glanced at Gio. His cold expression remained, as if nothing I said could break the barrier he had erected between us.
With a heavy heart, I allowed Dario to assist me to the car. I kept my gaze on Gio, who continued to watch me until I got inside the car and left. Gio and I watched each other as I drove away.
I didn’t cry during the ride, but I was in a daze. Perhaps I had grown too accustomed to Gio always pursuing me, with me being the one he couldn’t resist, and him constantly apologizing. Now that he was acting this way, I couldn’t believe it.
I can’t blame Gio. I knew he understood that I didn’t want what had happened, but he was hurt to see another man touching me. Perhaps that’s what he meant by needing some time alone to clear his thoughts.
I was quiet when I got out of the car. Before entering the house, I faced Dario once again.
He just stared at me, as if trying to gauge my feelings. I smiled at him. “Thank you, Dario. I know I’ve argued with you at times, but thanks for being with me.”
Dario didn’t respond, and when I realized he wouldn’t speak, I turned away from him.
I’m truly grateful to Dario for accompanying me throughout the night. I know he’s loyal to Gio, but he still stayed with me. He’s one of those who didn’t abandon me today.
I closed the bedroom door. The room was dark since I hadn’t turned on the lights yet. Leaning against the door, I stared into space. When the pain resurfaced, I slowly sat down on the floor.
I cried silently, releasing all the pain I was feeling right now. I hoped everything would be okay tomorrow. I hoped that when I woke up, Gio would be here. I hoped he would forgive me. I hoped we could fix our relationship.
I hoped… it was just hope after hope.
I embraced myself, feeling alone once more. I hadn’t felt this way again because Gio was always there for me. Now that he wasn’t by my side because I had hurt him, I was adjusting to the solitude. I wasn’t used to being without Gio, and I didn’t know if I’d ever get used to it again.
I let myself cry until I felt lighter. It’s temporary. I knew the relief brought by tears was only fleeting, but it was what I needed now to be okay, even if only temporarily.
After all my crying, I stood up and went to the bathroom. I freshened up and cleaned myself before heading to the walk-in closet to change clothes.
I sat on the bed for a while, lost in thought before deciding to lie down. I picked up Gio’s pillow and hugged it, pretending he was here. I closed my eyes, and even with just the thought of having Gio beside me, my emotions calmed down a bit. Tired, I fell asleep that night.
I waited for Gio’s return. Even though I was sleep-deprived and had a restless night, I woke up early. It’s Saturday, and there’s no work. Surely, Gio would come back soon. He told me he’d be home last night.
My eyes felt heavy. I knew my housemates noticed the state of my eyes, but they chose to stay quiet and not ask.
I silently ate my breakfast. I wanted to wait for Gio, but… I didn’t know what time he planned to come home.