NFTMB)Chapter 21
Victoria
(All the shiny things)
I don’t know for how long I cried while Sebastian just stood there awkwardly. I guess emotions were strange to him. He didn’t know anything about how to comfort people.
“I’m so stupid, why did I allow myself to get carried away by nonsense. This is all my fault. I should have just said no and pushed him away. I shouldn’t have allowed him to touch me. That was wrong!”. I chastised myself sternly as my tears flew uncontrollably.
“Don’t beat yourself up over something you can’t control. It’s a natural human thing to do. Just don’t blame yourself too much. It’s human nature Victoria”. He shrugged as he tried to make me feel better.
I looked at him in disbelief as he lit up a cigarette, as he saw me looking at him he shrugs one more time carelessly.
“I don’t even want to carry his child Sebastian”. I said honestly.
He just laughed humorlessly.
“You’re a different type of woman Victoria, many women and even men would kill to get to spend a night with him but you, you got it effortlessly and you even get to bear his child and also the most important, he wants to marry you. I don’t understand you at all Victoria”. Sebastian laughed out loud like I really was amusing him.
“Please Sebastian, can you help me? I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with him. I’ll die, my very soul can’t survive it. He’ll kill me”. I begged desperately.
I didn’t want to die and Alessandro looked like he’d kill me if I ever acted out of line.
“He won’t kill you as long as you act accordingly. Think about it very well Victoria, you’ll get to bear the next Rossi, you’ll be publicly known as Alessandro’s wife, you’ll have more money than you could ever spend, you’d have slaves at your beck and call, you’ll have enough if not all of the designer bags and luxury shit you want, all the shiny things you have ever wanted will be yours for the taking, you’ll have properties everywhere your eyes fall on, you’ll be highly respected and valued, you’ll even be the one to bear the entire future Rossi clan if you act accordingly and also the very best thing, you’ll get to spend nights and even days with THE Alessandro Rossi. It’s a win-win deal if you ask me”.
I gave Sebastian the stinkiest glare I could muster at his last statement. As if!.
Sebastian just shrugged as he continued burning his lungs with the cigarette stick.
“I don’t care about all of those, I want freedom, I want love, I want a normal family, Sebastian. Don’t you understand!?”. I yelled at him.
Why doesn’t anyone understand me or the way I feel? I don’t care about sleeping with Alessandro. I don’t care about his wealth and perks of being his wife, he could burn along with them. I don’t care.
“He’s right, you’re just a very stubborn and dumb woman Victoria. You don’t know how to take advantage of a situation. Alessandro is a young, handsome and rich man. He’s quite a very big catch but you act like he’s an old pervert or something. You’re so unbelievable, I’ll be taking my leave now”. Sebastian was mad at me too.
He threw the burnt out cigarette on the ground and left in anger.
I slowly collapsed onto my bed and cried like a baby. I cried like a child whose favorite toy was collected forcefully from him and then was destroyed in front of him, and was then beaten for crying. I cried till I felt like I could not cry anymore. I cried for my life, I cried for my dumb, stupid mistake. I cried for not being a professional person.
I ruined my life by myself and now I didn’t deserve to cry. My phone rang and it was Leonard, I had forgotten about him entirely.
I tried wiping my tears but fresh ones poured down faster.
“Hello angel”. His charming voice came through the phone.
“Hello”. My voice cracked in between as my tears poured out uncontrollably.
“Are you okay Victoria?”. He sounded genuinely worried.
“Yes I am”. I said sniffling as quietly as I could.
He caught on to that immediately.
“Are you crying?”. He asked me calmly.
“No, I- I um have something in my eyes, that’s all”. I tried to lie swiftly.
“You don’t have to lie to me sweetcheeks. I know something’s wrong. What happened?”. He said.
“I don’t know how to tell you Leonard, I don’t want you to get mad at me. Everybody is mad at me, no one likes me anymore. My whole life is a mess now”. I cried over the phone.
“No sweetie, I’d never get mad at you, ever, and you’ve got me now, so your life is not a mess”.
“You promise?”. I just wanted to be sure.
“Yes angel, I promise. You’re so cute. Now tell me what’s the problem?”. He chuckled a bit.
The thing is that I might have lied to Leonard at the hospital. I didn’t tell him I was pregnant. I told him I was sick, terminally sick. He consoled me for being sick that day at the hospital as I cried bitterly for my pregnancy. I feel like an asshole now.
“I lied to you, I’m not sick”. I announced shamefully.
“Hmm”. His response was surprising for me but I decided to ignore it and continue.
“I’m actually pregnant, not sick. I’m so sorry for lying to you that day but I needed time to think about the whole thing”. I sincerely apologized.
I was expecting him to yell at me, get hurt, tell me he won’t trust me anymore. Just anything to show anger and disappointment. But instead I got a long hearty laughter.
“Is that it? I’m sorry Victoria but I decided to play along with you all this while. I kind of guessed from the adoption leaflet peeking from your bag that you had beside you on the floor. I’m really sorry, I just wanted you to come clean by yourself. You looked like you still had not wrapped your head around the fact that you were expecting a little one. Forgive me darling”. He said, still laughing.
I was stunned and shocked. Now I look stupid. I had humiliated myself once more.
“You knew? Why did you let me embarrass myself all this while”. I sulked.
“I didn’t. I just wanted you to tell me when you felt you were ready to open up to a stranger like me. I didn’t want to rush or force you dear. It’s your choice if you want to tell or not. It’s not in my place to demand the truth or an explanation from you. You don’t owe me anything, love”. He calmly responded.
Leonard was a walking green flag, he was so calm, so supportive, so nice, so friendly. He was like the ideal man.
But I knew nothing would come out of all this. I had already messed my life up by myself. I had no one to blame but myself.
“Why are you so nice to me? You don’t even know me that well Leonard”. I started to tear up due to how nice he was.
Nobody had been this nice and lenient with me in a long time. They all yell at me and snap at me nowadays. They try to force me to do what they say. That’s not how you treat someone.
“You’re a very sweet and likable person Victoria. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You deserve the best”. He reassured me over the phone.
I burst into tears once again on the line. He just silently waited as I cried my eyes out.
“I’m sorry I’ve just been going through a lot of things lately”.
“Do you want to talk about it? I’m here to listen Victoria but if you don’t want to, it’s fine darling just take your time”. His calmness surprised me, I’m so used to authoritative and demanding men. Meeting a man who is so calm and collected like him is a new thing.
“My baby’s father is demanding I marry him”. I blurted out without thinking.
The line went silent for a while till he spoke.
“Okay, so he’s not denying or running, shouldn’t that be a good thing?”. He asked warily. I don’t blame him though, he must have felt we were in a normal relationship but I was unsure of the pregnancy.
“You don’t understand, we’re not a couple, we were not in a relationship. He was actually my boss. I was a nanny for his baby”. I said everything so honestly it was humiliating.
My level of shamelessness nowadays surprised me. I cringed at the embarrassing information I just gave him over the phone.
Seconds passed, minutes passed but I didn’t hear any response from him. I won’t blame him though, my life story was disgusting. I must have sounded like a whore to him. Did I disgust him too much?
“Hello?”. The silence was uncomfortable for me.
“Oh sorry Victoria, I’m just surprised by the nature of the situation. Forgive me dear. So, may I ask why you don’t want to marry him?”. He was curious.
“I don’t love him, he’s scary and authoritative and very demanding and controlling”.
“Woah, that’s a very tough man right there. Don’t you ladies love men like that?”. He joked in hopes of lightening the conversation.
“Maybe for others but not for me”.
“That’s interesting. So, why don’t you tell him no and reject his offer of marriage?”. If only it was that simple.
“I already did Leonard but he threatened me with something he knows I can’t risk happening”.
“Threats? That’s serious Victoria. Who did you get involved with? You should report this to the police”. He was alarmed.
“No, I can’t tell you his name for now so as not to involve you in my mess and he’s rich and very powerful, I don’t think there’s anything that the police can do to him”.
“You won’t know till you try Victoria, I don’t want you getting hurt. You should file a restraining order against him and protect yourself and your baby”.
I was once more moved by emotions. Leonard was a stranger and he cared about me so much that he suggested I go to the police.
“I’m scared, Leonard. I don’t want to provoke him so he doesn’t do something disastrous. He’s a very powerful man in the country and beyond”.
Truth is, I’m very scared of Alessandro. For a CEO, there was something dark and scary about him.
“Listen to me Victoria, you’re slowly spiraling into the dark hole of a toxic relationship. Get out of it before it’s too late and too bad. Go to the station and file a complaint”.
“Are you sure they’ll listen to me Leonard?”.
“They will Victoria. Trust me”. He sounded sure of himself.
I breathed in bravely before speaking.
“Okay, I’ll file a report”.