Gio slowly approached me. He attempted to hug me, but I pushed him away. He didn’t give up and continued to come closer. Eventually, he managed to embrace me.
“It’s not because of you, Millie. It’s not you, and it will never be you.”
That answer wasn’t enough for me. I wanted him to be straightforward with me.
“It’s about me, Millie. I’ve seen enough death in my life, I’ve dealt with watching people die in front of me. I don’t want the day to come when my child, or you, would be in danger. I don’t want it.”
I stopped crying when I heard Gio choking up in his words. I raised my gaze to him and saw the sadness in his eyes again.
I felt like I was torn in two when I saw how painful the expression in his eyes was. For once, he allowed his emotions to surface.
“When I accepted this position, I swore to myself that I would never have a family, Millie. I don’t want my wife to be in the same position as my mother, and I don’t want my kids to witness and experience the things Gianna and I have experienced at a very young age just because they are my children. I don’t like that at all. That’s why I’d rather be alone or not have a family.”
I bit my lip, but no words came out. It was as if I’d lost the ability to speak. There were so many things I wanted to say, but not a single one escaped my lips.
If I felt hurt when Gio told me he didn’t want to have kids, Gio was feeling more than hurt because of his reasons. He had a past, and I had failed to see it.
Maybe I was right; Gio and I were both running away from something in our pasts. But what was Gio running from? What happened in his past? I wanted to know.
“Gio, what really happened? What did you go through? I want a complete understanding, so I don’t jump to conclusions again.”
His eyes welled up with tears. If earlier I was hurting, thinking he didn’t want to have children because of me, now I was hurting because Gio was in pain.
Gio shook his head and quickly tried to change his expression, but it was too late. I knew he was going through something, and I knew he was keeping it from me.
“I had a rough childhood, Millie, and I don’t want to talk about that.”
I gently held his cheeks so he couldn’t look away. I succeeded. Gio couldn’t move when our eyes met again. My lips quivered, and I hugged him slowly.
“I know you’ve been fighting alone, Gio. You may act tough, heartless, and emotionless in front of everyone else, but I know deep down you are battling something. You can tell me, Gio. I’m your wife, and I’ll understand everything. I’ll listen to you. If it’s just the two of us, you can always show me the real you, Gio. I’ll accept it, embrace it, just like how you accepted me despite my dark and abusive past.”
Gio pulled me close and kissed me passionately. I was initially surprised, but I gradually let him kiss me. This was different from his usual passionate and fiery kisses. This kiss was full of affection, as if he was expressing his feelings for me without words.
We both took a deep breath as we separated, foreheads touching as we gazed into each other’s eyes. I noticed the lipstick stain on his lips, courtesy of me.
“I don’t want to talk about it… yet,” he said, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. “But thank you, Millie.”
His small act of expressing gratitude meant a lot to me.
Anything, Gio. I’m here because I love you.
I was still out of sorts. Nin and Rae were with me. Rae had been discharged from the hospital and seemed to be doing okay.
Gio allowed me to leave the house, as long as I had my guards with me. In addition, he needed to know my whereabouts at all times.
“Hey, are you listening?”
I looked at Rae when he nudged my arm, snapping me out of my daze. I blinked a few times before I could respond.
“Huh?” I didn’t hear what they were saying. Maybe they’ve been trying to talk to me, and I haven’t been attentive.
Rae rolled his eyes while Nina observed me closely.
“Seriously, girl! Are you okay? You’ve been spaced out for a while. You remind me of… that’s how you looked when your dad did things to you.”
I sighed for a moment, feeling my throat dry up.
“I’m really grateful to your husband. I heard from Nin that he spoke to the police for me. But, sis, you mean more to me than any debt I owe him. If there’s something he’s doing that you can’t talk about, just tell us.”
I was taken aback by Rae’s words, but eventually, I managed to laugh. I waved them off to let them know they were on the wrong track.
“Gio is not doing anything wrong to me. We’re fine,” I said, picking up my juice, which I hadn’t touched yet.
“That’s what you said to us about your dad. Until we found out he was hurting you,” Nina expressed her concern.
“Millie, if there’s something you haven’t told us that we need to know, please share it. So we can help you early on. We’re not those powerless friends of yours anymore. We have jobs, and we can help you if needed.”
These two rarely got so serious, and I appreciated it. But Gio and I genuinely had no problems.
“You have nothing to worry about when it comes to me. My life is good now with Gio. I’m happy with him.”
“Uh-hmm, she’s in love,” Rae said, nodding in my direction.
“Definitely,” Nina agreed with Rae.
I wanted to deny it, but what could I say? The truth was, I was in love with Gio.
“What about your husband? Does he love you too?”
I didn’t answer that question.
“We don’t have anything against him, okay? I’m really thankful for what he did for me when I was in the hospital. So, if he’s a good man, we support him. If not, well… don’t play the masochist, Millie.”
I knew they had a hard time trusting people around me because of what my dad had done. That was one thing I was grateful for. They cared more about my well-being than I did.
“I won’t be a foolish martyr,” I began and smiled. “Gio hasn’t said anything to me about loving me. I’m not even sure if he does love me or has any feelings for me at all. But I won’t give up on him or leave him despite all that. Do you know why?”
They locked eyes for a moment before turning to me and shaking their heads. I smiled at them again, this time, a genuine one.
“Because the people we think are hard to love are also the same people who need love the most. They are the ones who require love the most, which is why I want to stay by Gio’s side and understand him even if he doesn’t say he loves me back. I know exactly how this feels because I’ve been through it in my life. Even if I don’t know why Gio keeps his distance from others, I want to believe he has a reason. So, for as long as I can stay by Gio’s side, I’ll stay with him.”