With all the hugging done, Luna Remi herded us all towards the Pack dining room. The majority of the members ate in the huge room, and all immediately quieted when we walked towards the elevated platform on one end. “Today we welcome Alpha Ella Grey, niece of Luna Remi, along with her Beta, Darryl, and members Marge and Mabel. Please extend them our hospitality.” There was a cheer and we could make out some well wishes as we sat down.
“I appreciate the thought, Aunt Remi, but I’m not an Alpha.” I looked down at my injured hand, which was starting to throb again.
Doug laughed. “You aren’t Alpha because of blood or battle. You are Alpha because wolves follow you and recognize you as such.” He looked at the people with me.
“Alpha.”>>>>
**********
Dinner was a blur, between all the friends and relatives that were at the Johnson Pack, a number of my Pack members had transferred here as well. There were lots of hugs and tears, and I was worn down emotionally by the end. It didn’t help that tonight was a Pack run to celebrate the Full Moon.
I loved the runs. I would run next to my parents at the head of the Pack at the start, then fade back and spend time running with each and every Pack member, building the bonds with my small pack. It was a lot of fun, since the runs were recreational and not for hunting.
I wasn’t going on the run for the first time since I was fifteen. Children could shift, but they tired quickly and they couldn’t keep up with the pace of the adults. It was more fun to stay home and play. The Pack House had a play room, but we started in the yard out back. Renee had basically attached herself to me, and when I laid back to rest she climbed on top. Marge took a photo for me before the other children saw and started to climb on as well. “Kids, no rough play with Miss Ella, you can see her hand is still hurt.”
They smiled and left the pile, running off to play together elsewhere. I loved the kids, I used to dream of being a mother, but all that seemed like a distant memory now. I watched as the kids were led inside, and the Pack began to gather for the run. The sun fell behind the mountains and the darkness was soon lit by the rising moon.
I returned to my room, showering and dressing for bed. I looked out the window at the moon low in the sky, and was filled with sadness and loss. I wept for what I no longer was, then for what I no longer could be. When the tears stopped coming, I pulled down the sheets and fell into a troubled sleep.
I woke to bright lights and bouncing arms; opening my eyes and rubbing them with my good hand, I was able to focus enough to make out the cause. Renee was bouncing on the bed by my legs. “Mommy said to wake you up, it’s time for breakfast.”
“Aargh! You little monster, you woke the vicious beast!” I fake roared at her as I grabbed for her leg; she shrieked and jumped off the bed. When she got to the door, I told her I’d be down in a few.
I got changed and put my bad hand back in the sling. It hurt a lot this morning, so I grabbed my painkillers and went into the bathroom. I needed to see the doctor, I wasn’t sure if it was healing right. Of course, that could just be that I was human now.
Breakfast was a lively affair, and Aunt Remi told me I had an appointment first thing with the Pack doctor. “Nervous,” she asked.
“There’s a lot I don’t know.” I put down the piece of bacon, I had taken too much food as I wasn’t used to my reduced appetites. “My thumb still hurts. I need to get it checked this week by a specialist, and I can’t go back to Minneapolis.”
“We can make some calls, I’m sure there is someone up in Billings, if not we can go to Denver or Salt Lake. We’ll do whatever it takes to get you healed up, Ella.” She gave me a hug. “No matter what, you are family, and you have a place here if you want it.”
“I know.” I pushed my half-eaten food to the center of the table where Derek laid claim to it, growing boy that he was. “I’m heading to the clinic then.”
“I’ll go with you,” she said. “If you don’t mind. Now that Emma is… I… I told my sister I would take care of you if anything happened.” She started to break down, and I threw myself into her arms, careful to keep my hand clear. We cried together for a few minutes before she wiped her eyes and sat back. “I’m sorry, dear.”
“It’s all right,” I said. “It still seems like it hasn’t really happened. I keep expecting to see them walking through the door.” I stood up, then pulled her up with me. “We shouldn’t keep the doctor waiting.”
The clinic was just down the hill from the Pack House; essentially it was a small hospital, with a doctor and several nurses on staff. Werewolves were generally healthy, but we couldn’t risk using the human system for the broken bones, cuts and more serious injuries. This Pack had invested heavily in medical equipment and was the best facility around for wolves. We checked at the desk and were shown to an examination room, where I got to change into a gown and wait, just like in a human clinic.
“Good morning Luna, and you Ella.” Doctor Schmidt walked in, he was a tall man in his early forties who was already balding. “I had a chance to review your records from the reattachment surgery, you were very fortunate to have taken care of it like you did. The doctor was cautiously optimistic you’ll regain some function.”
I nodded as he took my bad hand and started to remove the dressing. “It’s throbbing a lot, and hurting more than it did.”
“That’s not unexpected, the nerves are just starting to reconnect and the tissue was torn up. Wolf bites are like that.” He finished removing the wrap, and I got my first look at the repair. It looked terrible, the wound was jagged and swollen, with angry red around the sutures. Doc looked at it closely, then sniffed it. “This is good, I don’t sense an infection. Hopefully the antibodies you had as a werewolf are still active for a while. We’ll get this wrapped up, and I want you to use ice packs on it four times a day for thirty minutes each, that will help reduce the swelling as it heals.” He cleaned the area carefully then started to wrap it again. “I read the toxicology report, but I want to hear from you what happened.”
I started to tell my story, soon Remi had my good hand in a death grip and was silently crying. I described what happened with the first and second wolfsbane injections, my final conversation with my wolf, and the pain of her dying. “How can I get my wolf back now?”
Doc sat back and looked at his Luna, then at me. “You can’t, I’m sorry.” I started to cry, and Remi hugged me to her. “Once a wolf is gone, it can’t be reversed. It doesn’t happen often, but there are some who choose to kill their wolf and become human, and we warn them of this.”
“Why not, Doc? Why can’t I just be bitten again now that I’m human?”
“It doesn’t work. Think of the werewolf gene as an infection. For a normal human, the bite spreads and changes your body. It’s like the measles, though. Once your body is ‘infected’, you build up antibodies that kill the infection in the future; otherwise, every time you got bitten it would be trying to change you again. If you get bitten, you will suffer the pain of the bite, just like you would if a dog bit you.” He patted my hand. “You need to accept that you are no longer a werewolf, and never will be one again. You are human now. I take it you have already experienced the loss of your wolf senses?”