She must have seen the scowl on my face as she set her purse down on the dresser. She sat on the edge of the bed, but didn’t say anything immediately. She looked up at me, and I asked her, “What? What do you want?” I knew I was being a dick, but there wasn’t a lot of compassion in me right then. She just stared at me for a minute longer, then sighed and started talking.
“How are you feeling?” she asked. “Your first therapy appointment is tomorrow. The kids have spring break coming up next week, so will be home from school.”
“I feel like shit. Why do you care anyway?” I asked.
“Matt,” she started, sniffling a little. “I have cried a lot lately, and you’re right and wrong. I care very much, but obviously that didn’t stop me from failing. How can I prove to you that I still love you with all my heart?”
“Jenn, I don’t know, but right now I can’t think straight about anything. I need time to think, and get better. It might be better if you weren’t around so much right now.” I know the words had to sting, but at the moment, I really didn’t care much.
She got up and went to the closet to change out of her work clothes. As she got down to her bra and panties, I started getting aroused. My cock was betraying me, with no regard for my emotions at all. I looked down at it, and thought, traitor.
As she was standing there looking in the closet, it reminded me of the first year we were married. Before we had the kids, we lived in a small two bedroom apartment. She used to walk around almost every night with just her bra and panties on.
Jenn had always been the more relaxed one of the two of us. I’m not saying she was a party animal back then, but she initiated sex almost as often as I did. Of course, we used to have sex almost every night back then, but after our daughter was born we cut back a lot. I am sure it is pretty common for most parents, but still wasn’t great. I shook my head to clear my thoughts.
I really couldn’t think straight with her in the room, in the house for that matter. I really wasn’t sure what to do, but definitely still mad at her for betraying me with my shitty-ass supposed friend Jim. I will kill that fucker when I get better; that much is for sure.
Honestly if I had to make a decision right this moment, I was seriously considering killing my cheating-ass wife too, love or no love. Then I thought of the kids and what that would do to them. If they lost their mom, and their dad was sent to prison, where would that leave them?
I audibly sighed, and my wife looked at me before finishing getting dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt. She left the room without a word. About this time my daughter Sidney came in to check on me. Funny how I never even heard the kids get home.
“How are you feeling dad? Can I get you anything?” she asked.
“Man, I am glad to see you. Yeah, could you help get me up to go out into the living room? I would rather spend the evening with you guys than laying here in bed.”
“Sure dad.” She helped me get up and walk down the hallway. I was starting to feel that I could walk a little on my own, but still would probably fall down unassisted. It was a miracle I made it last night by myself.
I spent the night in the living room with my kids watching TV, and listening to them explain some of what they did during the day. My wife stayed in the kitchen busy cleaning up. I still wanted to both choke her and hug her. After turning my attention back to the kids, they all wished me good luck tomorrow for my therapy, and then went to their rooms to do homework.
I sat and watched TV for an hour or two, until I got hungry and thought about dinner. My wife was our main cook, but I didn’t smell anything cooking. Regardless of the past few days, I wondered what was going on. I called out for her, “Jenn!”
She came in from the kitchen and stood in front of me. She had a different look on her face than I had been seeing since she admitted her cheating. She almost looked sad but determined. I really wondered what was up now.
“I called my parents, and told them that we were having some problems. I decided it would be best if I went to stay with them for a little while. I know you need help, now more than ever, but right now I don’t think you want me to be that person.”
You could see she had watery eyes but was holding in the tears this time. I had no comforting response for her, so just said, “That might be best, actually. I have never been as uncomfortable as I have been since yesterday around here. You should still call, and come by to see the kids.”
She just kind of nodded, turned, and walked off towards the bedroom. After a couple of minutes, she came out with a suitcase packed, and said she would go talk to the kids and say goodnight to them. After she came out of each kid’s room, she came over to me and leaned down to give my forehead a quick kiss before I could complain. She said, “I love you Matt, please remember that. Good night.”
With that, she left the house and drove off. I was still in turmoil as she left, but decided that this would give me the time that I needed to cool off and think about things. I really didn’t know if I would ever forgive her, let alone stay married to her.