Thea
It was a silent ride to the hospital and I could tell how close we were at each point because Angel’s countenance kept losing it’s spark gradually untill we finally got to the hospital building.
Angel remained silent and I could see just how much pain he was in. I wondered if he always got like this when he came here.
Knowing the story behind his mother’s condition broke my heart to a thousand pieces. It was only imaginable what he was feeling everytime she crossed his mind.
I stared for a moment then reached out for his hand. I touched it and rubbed it soothingly. Angel looked at me and forced a smile.
“We should go now.” He said. I nodded, smiling back at him. I hoped my presence will be helpful to him today. We stepped out of the car but he wasn’t moving as he just stood on his side of it with his head dipped. I waited for him but then decided to go to him.
“Angel.” I called as my heart broke for him the moment I saw tears line his face.
“I hate my father.” He blurted and I blinked severally as I didn’t expect such words to fall off his mouth so randomly. I remained silent and just watched him but with each passing second, my heart broke even more. I move closer and touched his shoulder letting him know he could be vulnerable. Angel looked at me and his eyes spoke his appreciation. I was glad that my presence meant a lot to him.
“Everytime I come here, it feels impossible to forgive Scott. He cheated on my mum and it got her involved in an accident. She shouldn’t have sped that day, she wouldn’t have been involved in that accident. I should have stopped her.” He said in a strained voice showing his pain. I knew this already when we spoke about his mum the other day.
Roseline had called Florentine while on high speed, crying out her heart over the phone as she explained how she caught Scott in bed with another lady. She had given him another chance after Cassandra’s father died but he ruined her life.
“You have every right to feel that way Angel.” I spoke gently and I could see how much he was trying to hold it in, all the emotions that surged into him because of Scott.
He looked away for a second before returning a guilty gaze to me which got me curious.
“I used to hate your mum too.” He blurts again and I gasp softly. I shove a mould of fluid down my throat, I was shocked and speechless at his confession but then I understood him.
“I guess you should too.” I said. Louisa was my mum but Angel was a teenager when his misfortune happened. He had so much pent up anger and pain that he never let out.
“Scott fell in love for real with someone who wasn’t my mother. It hurt, it hurt so bad Thea. He got married and is happy while my mother doesn’t have that chance. I hate him Thea.” He said shaking slightly. Who wouldn’t hate their father for being happy when he was the reason their mother had no life. I felt deeply sorry for Angel and Cassandra.
“I hate that your mum is happy with him while mine….” Angel paused unable to complete his words, tears streamed down his face and I quickly wrapped my arms around him, hugging him, hoping my warmth brought some comfort to his bleeding heart. He sniffs back his tears and hugs me back too.
“You are free to feel whatever and however you want.”
“She’s your mother Thea.”
“It doesn’t matter. Accepting what you feel towards anyone is also part of your healing process.” I said and pulled away slowly from him. I palm his face and look into his eyes. “I’ll be with you Angel. To support you because I love you. I love you more than anyone.” I meant it with every fibre of my being. He was everything to me. He sighed then held my hands.
“Taking you away wasn’t just because of my lust for you. It was also part of my revenge on Louisa. I enjoyed seeing your mother in pain while I frustrated all her efforts to see you and take you away from me.” He continued. I had no idea why he chose to say all these things to me now. I try to shake off the images of how my mother must have suffered. Angel might be the love of my life but Louisa was my mother and I loved her so dearly. It hurt to hear him say that and to know what she went through because of the very man I loved. I took a deep sigh, deciding to put everything behind me. I knew Angel regretted keeping me away from my mum and letting her suffer. There was no need judging him any more.
“It’s all in the past now.” I said beaming a weak smile at him.
“I knew the times she was hospitalized and I didn’t give a fuck if anything happened to her.” He continued and this time I got curious for real. He was revealing too much but I wondered if he was trying to push me away from seeing his mother. To know if I’d still care enough to be there with him?
I could see what he was doing. He didn’t want me to feel sorry for him but I already put myself self in his place and considered the fact that he used to be heartless and barely had room for a conscience in the past but now, he was a better man.
“Why are you telling me all this Angel?”
“I want you to know the kind of man you fell in love with.”
“Are you done?” He hesitates and just looks at me with shock in his eyes.
“Yes.” He says and I move into his arms again then kiss him.
“Does this give you an answer?” He doesn’t reply.
“I have seen you. The monster you and still love you Angel.”
“Thea….” He calls still expressing his shock at my response.
“Can we see your mum now?” I said but his eyes remained glued on mine then suddenly, he pulls me back into his arms and hugs me so passionately.
Angel held my hand untill we got to his mum’s room and the moment I saw her, my heart sank. I didn’t expect to feel the way I felt now seeing her. How could anyone bear living or going through life seeing their loved one in such state? I looked at Angel, his heart was shattered with the way he looked at her. It was like a hopeless and hopeful situation at the same time. Hoping that one day she’d wake up and hopeless that it didn’t seem as though it could happen. What was needed was a miracle.
We move closer to the bed and sit on a stool beside her. We remained silent for a while. I just let Angel have his moment. When ever he was ready, I’d be ready too.
After the wait, I felt Angel’s hand on mine. He took it and placed it over his mum’s hand while putting his above mine.