Angel had agreed to take me to the dungeon despite being unwilling to do it at first but I had insisted and he had to succumb to my wish.
The door creacked open and I stepped in right after Angel. This place was creepy and I couldn’t believe I had been made to sleep and endure torture for days.
I get that he couldn’t hurt me directly during that time and asked his Hit girl to do it.
Monica, she was cruel and that was just too cruel of Angel. I used to be so scared in the darkness adding to the pain of that ladies whip.
Angel had remained utterly silent allowing me to relive my moments here in my head. I felt sorry for all I had been put through. It got me thinking if Angel actually knew how deep my pain was. I was punished unjustly.
I thought all would be fine once I forgave but things like this just reminded me of the pain and I had to fight the emotions that were coming afresh in me.
I took a deep sigh as I had concluded on what to do to help me heal from this moment.
“Can you do me a favor?” I said and Angel came forward.
“Anything.” He said and I knew he was talking from a place of guilt.
“Anything?”
“Yes.” He replied.
“Take off your top.” I said and he squinted, confused at first but then he proceeded with my request. “Open the cell.” I said and he seemed to be getting concerned but did as I said. He put on the cell light illuminating the place and my eyes fell on the hand cuffs that were used to cuff me back then.
“Are you sure you want to do this favour?” I asked again and he answered. His eyes told me that he had an idea where I was heading to. “The keys….. Step in.” I said. Angel handed the keys to me and stepped in-between the cuffs. I moved forward and cuffed both his hands to the wall.
“Tight enough?” He asked in a deep voice resigning to his fate.
“Tight enough.” I repeated and stepped back.
“What’s your plan Thea?” He asked and I simply smiled at him.
“You’ll find out soon my love.” I said and stepped out of the cell. “At least you have the lights on. I had none.” I spoke in a soft voice and began to walk out of the dungeon.
“Thea where are you going… Thea! Thea!” He kept calling after me but I ignored him. I went back to his dark room and grabbed the whip I had seen earlier then went back to the dungeon.
Angel seemed horrified.
“What exactly are you planning?”
“What fun would it be if I told you so soon?” I said walking into the cell, making sure that the whip was on display then I began to caress his cheek looking deep into eyes. I brought my face close to his and my skin burned from his warm breath as I nuzzled him.
I held his cheeks with my fingers and after several attempted kiss I brushed my lips against his and his body stiffened. I made two deep slides into his mouth and he reciprocated my kiss.
Our kiss grew hungry and just when he was enjoying it too well, I pulled away suddenly and he sighed in frustration. I brought my face again to him, nuzzling, he tried to kiss me while I kept pulling back teasing him.
“Is this some kind of fetish?” He whispered, breathing heavily. I brushed my lips quickly against his and sucked the taste of him in my lower lip.
“What can I say? It could be.” I said and moved away from him. “Did you ever wonder how it felt to be in here, whipped, tortured and scared?” I asked him as I felt Monica’s whip on me while diving into my memory bank.
“You want to get your revenge? Right now?”
“Do you want to back out?”
He laughed and stared me in the eye. “How can I? I’m just doing a favour.” I smiled at him enjoying his understanding.
“My question….” I recalled him back to it.
“I know exactly how you felt Thea. I may not have told anyone but the first time I exchanged blows with Knight and Caspian my stepfather had locked me up in here. It was Caspian’s fault but he wouldn’t believe me.” I was taken aback by his confession. “I was a teenager.” He concluded and I was shocked. “Don’t be mistaken, my stepfather might have been hard atimes because he was training me to inherit the empire but he was nothing less of a father to me and I’ll always love him because he was the best.”
I sighed in relieve knowing there was no bad blood between them. I could feel less guilty now for doing what I was about to do.
“Was there a second time?” I asked and he chuckled bitterly.
“I’ve been involved in a lot of troubles Thea, gangs mostly. I’ve arrested by the police and tortured but eventually found my way out and trust me, I’ve sent worst dungeons.” He said and my heart leaped. “But I’m not saying anything of this for you to feel sorry for me, I’m only letting you know that it’s okay to do what you want with me. I can handle it.”
He said and I reassured myself that I could inflict pain on him. It shouldn’t be that hard. I just wanted him to feel the pain I felt that day.
I moved towards him raising my whip.
“Stand erect.” I told him and he did as I said. I raised my whip to flog him but my hand hung in the air. I looked at him and just couldn’t bring myself to do it.
“I told you it was okay to do it. Do it now Thea.” I made another attempt but ended up letting the whip fall off my hand. I fell to his feet and began shedding tears.
“I can’t do it.” I cried, saying the words more to myself.
After I had cried my fill, I noticed that a heaviness had left my heart. I began connecting the dots and realized that each time I confronted my pains, there was an ease in my heart.
Maybe forgiving and healing shouldn’t just be about having a good relationship with Angel. Maybe having these moments of meltdown were a good thing. Feeling this pain again and still be able to move on with him. This was my own process of healing.
I realized that making Angel go through what he had put me through wasn’t all there was to healing and feeling satisfied. He was willing to go through pain to make me feel better and this was very much of value to me.
“I love you Thea, so much and it’s okay to hate me sometimes.” He said and I nodded wiping off my tears.
I stood up and uncuffed him then I handed him his shirt but he didn’t take it. Instead he pulled me in for a very passionate hug.
“If I could rewind time I would. You didn’t deserve any of this. I don’t know what I’ll ever do to make it up but I know one thing is for sure , I’ll spend the rest of my life loving you just the way you deserve to be loved.”
He said and I hugged him even more, tearing up in his arms.
“You’re everything to me Thea. I love you so much.” He whispered, digging his fingers into my hair as well.
He understood my pain and that was what mattered.